I've been married to my hubby for 2years, I am a psychology graduate student and I am 22 years old. My mother in law makes me feel bad that I havn't got kids yet, and she constantly says that if I leave it too long I may never get pregnant, especially coz I'm on the pill. However her daughter is the same age as me, and is going to get married, however she doesn't want her to have kids yet, she says she want her to do phd etc. first. But what about me? And why is it too late for me to have kids, and not her daughter?
2007-06-22 00:58:19 · 20 answers · asked by kitty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Make a doll and give it to her for Christmas... that's what I did for my father-in-law. He sent us running suits our first Christmas together, six months after we got married, with a note you had to be healthy to have a healthy grandchild. I made him a soft cabbage-patch like doll the following Christmas. All I could find was dark brown fabric at the time, so that's what he got. We are white. It was a great joke, and he never said anything else, really, about grandkids again to us...
He had three before he died four years ago. I've been married to his son for 24 years next month.
2007-06-22 01:07:13 · answer #1 · answered by Sammie's Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not allow your mother in law to pressure you into having children before you are ready. And do not allow her to make you feel guilty for not having kids yet either. Personally, I think 22 years old is still rather young to have a child, unless you feel that you are ready. Children are a huge amount of responsibility and it is a lifetime commitment. You have plenty of time to have children. Your mother in law might like the idea of having a cute grandchild to spoil and watch occasionally, but you will be the one raising the child. Enjoy your freedom, your youth and your alone time with your husband. Tell your mother in law that you have spoken with your husband and that you have mutually decided to wait a bit longer before attempting to get pregnant. If she has any tact at all, she will take the hint and leave the subject alone for a while. Good luck!:)
2007-06-22 09:27:28 · answer #2 · answered by Sophie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't let your mother in law influence anything that goes on between you and your husband, because when the going gets tough will she be in the thick of things. You should take time to enjoy each other before bringing in a child. I regret not being able to enjoy my marriage before kids. Now we can't even jump up and go to a move on the spare of the moment unless it at the drive in. Kids change everything and if you don't have a strong support group to give you some time for yourself or for your husband it will take a tremendice toll on your relationship. There is a website for message boards concerning these kinds of issues called ivillage. You can go to the love and sex tab and click on message boards, then take your pick from there. I love this board you can get so much helpful advice and support . Good Luck!!
2007-06-22 08:30:18 · answer #3 · answered by exoticflava 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like the typicall MIL, nothing is good enough for her children type thing. Like I was told when I got married, keep your families out of your marriage. If you and your husband are content with not having children then carry-on and let her know that. Don't entertain her snide remarks. Only you and your husband know when the right time is to bring another person into the world and if it's not now, then MIL will just have to live with that. You will be fine you are still young and even if you decide to have kids at 35 if that's what's supposed to happen then it won't be too late.
2007-06-22 08:04:13 · answer #4 · answered by newsgal03 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what its you that is the one to say when you want to try and have kids. My sister is 30 years old and just had twin girls two months ago. I'm 25 and don't have kids yet. She did not have kids early because she wanted to get her house and a good job first. I want the same thing. Get done with your schooling first and a good job and then if you want to have kids go for it. Don't let someone run your life or try to. You are young and have time to have kids. Do what you think is right and don't let her perisher you to do anything. You will do it when you think the time is right.
2007-06-22 08:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your MIL is just trying to show her superiority over you towards her son. She is what is known as "2 faced". You are very young with plenty of time to enjoy your husband and career before planning a family. Her own daughter she already has the upper hand over so she will dictate her wants too, but if you give in now to her about starting a family next it will be how to raise them "her" way and how to manage your own home and on and on...Nip it in the bud before it starts (it'll save a lot of anguish later on). Tell her when the 2 of you are ready to have a child she'll be the first to know. She has to be told politely that it is you and your husbands decision, not hers.
2007-06-22 08:25:42 · answer #6 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw, don't take it so seriously. Mother-in-laws can be a pain---I think it's in the job description. LOL
She wants you to have kids so she can have grandbabies.
She wants her daughter to wait because that's her OWN child. It's totally unfair, sure, but that's how it is.
The big thing here? Don't worry so much! Just let it slide off your back (unless she becomes very insulting or demeaning.)
Mother-in-laws and grandmas are pains. But they're evil out of love. LOL.
2007-06-22 08:05:06 · answer #7 · answered by Calliope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life lesson- You have to live your own life and not give in to the expectations of others.
True Story- I dated my wife for 8 years and then we were married for 7 years before we even started trying to have kids. Our first was born when I was 33 and she was 32.
Our joke is - You should see us pick out furniture(laughing at how long we take to do things)
We got lots of crazy pressure from people we viewed as none of their business, not just family.
Do what you want and need and to heck with the opinions of others.
Old Guy
2007-06-22 08:50:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She wants a grandchild, and you are already married to her son. She is just trying to pressure you! She probably doesn't want her daughter to in part because she is not yet married, and also maybe she is still protective of her to a degree. Don't worry, it is NOT too late for you to have kids, and she can just sit tight until you are ready! Maybe next time, you can tell her politely, that it isn't her business and when you and your husband are ready, that is when you will have kids.
PS just for info fertility doesn't start decreasing until your late 20's.
2007-06-22 08:03:23 · answer #9 · answered by Christine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not.It just sounds like her own daughter has told her not now, so the only way for her to become a grandmother is to push you guys. Nothing more. Its your life so do with it what you want and dont let her push you guys into anything youre not prepared for yet. Tell hr she will be a grandmother when you guys feel the time is right and not before so butt out. Good luck
2007-06-22 08:06:56 · answer #10 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋