If someone has no structure to his/her life and asks you for advice, what advice would you give?

Question

Ok, here are some more details of what I mean...
Think of someone who is not ill. Moving from one job to another, never actually unemployed, but a freelancer, trying to make ends meet. Now trying to settle down, but unable to do so. No meaningful relationships, just family and some friends. Just an example of such a person.

Answer 1

That is an excellent question. I suspect that most of the answers you get will be about going to school and getting a job, but I went through a similar thing and I suggest that you don't worry too much about it.

A person can learn and grow even in the situation you described. Just follow your passion (if you have any) and your life will find it's purpose. If you don't have any, I would suggest some Yoga to keep the mind clear... and just take it as it comes.

Don't worry, it doesn't sound to me like you are doing anything wrong.

Answer 2

If a person from the past ages were brought forward to the present, he would not have understood how a simple aeroplane could possibly take to the air, and fly. He may have understood that it is some machine made to go very fast on land. He may also have figured it out, upon the sight of its wings that it sure is made to fly somehow, but he would not have found out how. How, for instance, something can fly without flapping its wings - which a plane cannot - like a bird does?

This fact of the secret is in the design of the wings, in the simplest of all the features in the aircraft building. In fact that the top of each wing is curved and the bottom is flat, allowing the air over the wing of a moving plane to flow faster than the air passing under the wings. And the fast air over the wings causes a difference in pressure above and below, in turn producing lift. But this simple scientific fact would have been invisible to the most curious eyes of our friend from ancient times.

This is just like human mind, or human life. When idle or standing still, human mind does reveal its true potential. But when put in some purposeful use it reveals its hidden potentials. As the water in high altitude reservoirs keeps its potential energy stored, and until it is allowed to flow we never see the power its rapids.

If your friend is mobile, but aimless then he sure needs to have some purpose identified for his life. The example then could be that of a seed rolling on ground with gusts of air unable to take its hold in the soil. But until that seed keeps rolling its true characteristics will never be know, now even to himself. Just like water in a reservoir, and a plane standing upon a runway could not make any difference a person, like as a rolling stone that would gathers no moss. He will never realise what he might have found if he had tried just a little hard for one thing.

Answer 3

If a person has unstructured life,it means that he is aimless.Unless person has got an "aim in life" structured life is not possible.If there is aim,there may financial or physical bottlenecks to achieve the aim.One has to identify the factors resulting in an unplanned life.If sombody comes to me ,I will have to ask many questions to find out a solution.
The world work by cause and effect theory.Unless you identify the cause ,required effect cannot be created.For anything there will be a cause,even for un planned life.

Answer 4

Make a list of what they want from an ideal life - everything from the material things like where they want to live and what sort of car they want to the intrinsic things like how they want to feel about their job what sort of partner they want and work backwards from each goal setting smaller targets along the way.
i.e if they want a well paid salaried job. they may have to dtart by going back to school or getting a very low paid salaried job.
If they want to marry a certain type of person they may have to change the places they go to.

Just make sure everyone knows it is a long term process and you can't settle down over night!!

Answer 5

Figure out what is important to them and set goals. Where do they want to be 20 years from now? Then sit down and make up a list of steps that will help them reach those goals.

And to remember we all fall into ruts, the important thing is learning how to get out of them and not make that rut "home".

Go to church and get involved in some of the works there, make new friends and work towards the same goals. Don't get discouraged when you fail or are hit with trials ~ let those make you stronger and wiser as you work to get back on your feet.

Life can be happy but we have to make the right choices. Don't just follow the crowd, do what is right for you, things that will make your life complete.

Be responsible for your actions and be ready to apologize when needed. Take pride in who you are and set a good example for others.

Be honest with others but especially be honest with yourself. You can't solve a problem if you don't admit to yourself what the problem really is so if you need to change your attitude, do it, don't make excuses or blame others.

Believe in yourself and keep your sense of humor because you will surely need it to get through rough times.

Answer 6

Based on your description its hard to tell if that person indeed has no structure. Some people enjoy having a lifestyle devoid of routine.

If it is as you suggest and this person is really a mess, I would tell them a story about someone else who was able to improve their financial situation by doing a) b) and c). In other words, you aren't lecturing him or her, you are just telling a story of how someone got their act together by being disciplined. This way you aren't nagging and instead giving them a subtle suggestion.

Answer 7

I do more or less the same thing, but successfully. I don't know why, but I work a lot less than everyone I know, and I make more money than all of them. If you still think settling down is the way to go though, get pregnant. Otherwise, I'm afraid that settling down is not in your nature.

Answer 8

I would tell them to take and RCIA course and become Catholic. It is the best thing I have ever done. The whole world makes so much more sense now.

ps I am not talking about the perception of Catholicism that you read about in books and newspapers, but the real thing as per the Vatican and the Catechism and the Bible.

Answer 9

As far as he is concerned, he has structure to his life. Obviously he is satisfied with freelancing, family, and friends.
You are asking for advice for him.
When he askes for advice then I would give it. Otherwise it is none of your buisness or anyone elses

Answer 10

I'd say they are on the right track. Seriously. Everyone IS always exactly where they are supposed to be. It's the "think you SHOULD be somewhere else" or "have structure to his/her life" that is the problem. If this is you--You are Okay. If this is somebody else - Don't try to fix him.