my marriage is in trouble?

Question

i have been married for about 9 months i feel like the sparks are gone....my husband never wants to have sex anymore hes always to "tired" we also have an 8 month old baby so that might be the reason but its me who takes care of the baby, me who cooks an d cleans for him and still wrk a part time job.... what should i do???

Answer 1

the best and the only thing you can do is that you will talk to him but choose a time that he is not tired such as on sunday there are sometimes for every men that are relax and happy talk to him very kindly and ask about his job you try to help him first surely he has some problems too that is this much tired then talk about yourselves and try to find a solution for being more with each other dont forget makeup perfum and a lovely kiss

Answer 2

Hun, the best way to figure out how to fix things, is to communicate with your husband. Communication is where most problems stem from, because couples dont communicate when there is a problem. Having a baby, does take alot of people, it's a big responsibilty. But, dont let that be an excuse for either of you to not make time for yourselves. By yourself & together. Before you got married, i'm sure there was things you did for your husband, to get him in the mood. If he seems disinterested, ask him why? and get him to open up a bit about what the problem is. Obviously, if your husband doesnt wanna communicate, you've got more of a problem, than your husband just not wanting sex. Ask someone to babysit for the weekend, and get away and talk with him, all the while having a relaxing weekend, and also rekindling the romance. It does take work to keep a marriage going. don't give up hun. good luck.

Answer 3

First of all, Take a deep breath! Ok, all this means is the honeymoon is over and reality has set in. Your both exhausted, and have alot on your plate. Make date nights, once a week, once a month, or however often you can get a babysitter. While on this date, you don't mention work, the baby, or anything like that. You go out like you used to, and try to re-kindle what attracted the two of you to each other to begin with. The sparks are not gone. You just can't see them over the cloud of everything else.

Answer 4

Congrats on the marriage and birth of your child.
You two need to get away! You are both probably way past the over tired stage. Once that happens, one's moods get darker and nothing seems "happy" or "easy" anymore. There are no sparks in anything. Suggest to your husband that the two of you at least get a weekend getaway together or possibly a weekend in (if you have a sitter) to do nothing but rest, eat out, and make love. If you could do a week together, you will be surprised at how much better the both of you will feel. You'll be smiling. After that, make special times (doesn't have to be anything expensive) to just hang out together.

Answer 5

Is there any way you get a baby sitter and have a night out just the two of you to talk things over? If money's an issue, could you ask a relative or friend to watch the baby for a little while? You two really need to talk, just the two of you alone and without distractions. Was he at the birth? Sometimes, when husbands see the birthing process, they feel differently about their wives, and have trouble seeing them as sexual beings anymore. You should ask him about that, but you really need to schedule some "Grown-up time".

Answer 6

Kick him up the ar*e and tell him to give you a hand. A baby takes a lot out of every-one..but if you are doing all the work then your husband is being lazy. Talk it out now or it will only get worse. He will come to expect it...so talk to him about the way you are feeling. A marriage is TWO people who love each other and are prepared to work at a marriage so you should not be expected to take it all on yourself. Good luck.

Answer 7

you know what, I truly believe men get a form of post partum depression too. right now it is a stressful time for you both. You both have a ton of expectations about each other and life and a lot of responsibility. Give it some time, and try to talk to him about it in a way that doesn't make him get all defensive. If you don't know how to do that, try seeing a counselor on your own or see if he would be willing to go to one as a couple. Overall - sex isn't everything. It's not something the media loves to expose, but yeah, men have thier dry spells too.

Answer 8

welcome to the wonderful world of marriage,discuss this issue with him first and for most as dialog is the most important part of you relationship at this point,9 months and a new baby are things that try any body's marriage don't fret wait it out discuss it often and if it does t improve in 6 months or so re-evaluate the situation.Its way to early to think its a done deal.relationships take more work than raising kids.both are hard I know but give it some time and see what develops after you have discussed this over a period of time.good luck..............

Answer 9

You need to make time for yourselves. Make like an appointment with yourselves.... arrange a time during every week to send your child off to the baby sitters or to your parents etc and go out for dinner or all go to the zoo or something..... give yourselves time to be a couple again- talk to one another and relax rather than be a worker and house wife. People often forget about the relationship when they have kids, but without that, the family falls apart!

Answer 10

i like what drkeyez82 said,

truely the honey moon phase is over and marriage has begin. Relax and accept the change instead of resisting it. You need to LEARN, ACCEPT and GROW.

Learn the new environment, accept it and handle it maturely. The spark isn't gone, just the real thing is come - a change which is neccesary for growth

Cheers!