Where is the threshold between having something worth struggling for and simply postponing an inevitable split? How does one (or a communicative couple) decide?
Is it a sign when you create a new yahoo account so you can go to the marriage and divorce section?
2007-06-20 18:54:21 · 9 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When you no longer care if you are together or apart, when you no longer want to try, when you can only point out whats wrong with him/her , problem, relationship and you have no solution. When you can count more bad times then good times and when you argue if the first thought is to quit and walk away instead of working it out then its time to go
2007-06-20 19:02:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may also be a sign saying you still care for each other a lot. It helps to be a communicative couple. Why don't you talk it through, lay out all the issues, and see what each other want. Try to think of why you fell in love at the first place. Are the things that you use to appreciate the other person still there? Could it be that the everyday stress distracted you and you just forgot about how much you love each other?
Things may turn out to be just fine. If not, at least you have talked it through and when you make a decision together, either staying together or split, there will be no hard feelings (well at least not too bad) and hopefully only good memories will stay.
Good luck.
By the way, it is not easy to find someone that you can communicate comfortably. So for that, you probably at least found a very good friend.
2007-06-20 19:05:51 · answer #2 · answered by Christina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on the issues and whether you're married or not. There are some issues I would split on if I were dating that I wouldn't if I were married.
Generally speaking, if you're asking, you're right there on the line, and you just have to decide if it's worth fighting for. If you fight and lose, at least you would be able to say you did all you could. I would try fighting as hard as I could for most relationships, because ending relationships inevitably causes regrets as people get caught up in the pain and focus on what doesn't work and forget what DOES work (sorry for the run on). Then regret and guilt follows. In divorce cases, average grief time is 5 years after the initial "honeymoon" period (which lasts 3 months to a year, depending). Try an LMFT (licensed marriage and family therapist). I am sorry things are so hard.
2007-06-20 18:59:13 · answer #3 · answered by mountain_laurel1183 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll answer your 2nd quest. first. Creating a second account for you is just to give you a little freedom to discuss these things. Now for the 1st quest. I don't really know. If one or the other has cheated, esp. more than once, then I think that's crossing the thresh hold. If you're sure you don't love him, that's another reason. You should always try, but when all avenues are exhausted, then it's time to end it - if you can.
2007-06-20 19:00:58 · answer #4 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi..If you didn't have reservations about not wanting to end your marriage..you wouldn't be here..
You say you're a communicative couple..That's a good thing!It's important to be able to listen to each others viewpoints, without one party thinking they are right all the time..
Have you considered counseling?
A good counselor can get both you and your spouse to realize where the initial problem lies, and how it can be corrected..Sometimes we don't realize ourselves what we're doing, unless it brought out with the help of a good counseling session..It can't hurt to try
You found each other, you fell in love..you got married..There has to be something still left that you're willing to fight for to save your marriage. Well then.. fight for it..Try to save your marriage....
Don't head for splitsville so fast..
Good luck to both of you..and God Bless!
2007-06-20 20:13:53 · answer #5 · answered by howdoilvthee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try couples counseling, if the relationship has been a long term one. There is no sense in throwing away a relationship that you have invested many years of your life in, unless you have tried every possibility to save it. Good Luck!!
2007-06-20 19:00:15 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are the positives in your relationship outweighing the negatives? If not, how long has it been this way? I say, put up with no more than 1 year of negatives outweighing positives. Life is short.
2007-06-20 19:01:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about the future and what you would like it to be like. Does it include your spouse in a happy situation, or would you rather be away from your spouse. If you know what you would want, you will know better what to do.
2007-06-20 19:18:35 · answer #8 · answered by Wretched Bonsai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on what the actual problem is...infidelity? abuse? addiction?
Most other things can usually be worked out with time and effort. All marriages have peaks and valleys.
2007-06-20 18:58:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋