i dont want my husband to touch me?

Question

i am 23 yrs.my husband gets me so mad and the arguments are always started by some nonsense.i dont want him to touch me and i often fantasize about moving out and even getting married again. i dont even feel the need to have kids with him. Am i going through a phase or did i marry the wrong person?Please your advice is needed.

Answer 1

I think this is normal if you've been married for a year and a half or less.

When I first got married I had a lot of problems with my husband. Argued over the dumbest things. Or things that he should have known better than to say.

After about a year, things seemed to level out. The bickering and nagging stopped. We learned to live with each other.

Honestly, the way we learned... was by watching our married friends argue and bicker. We realized how pointless and unnecessary it was as third party observers.

I threatened to divorce him several times in our first year. Now, I'm so glad that we got through it. We both had a bit of growing up to do, I'll admit. But now I don't know how I ever got along without that doofus or our daughter. I love him to bits and I can see a future with him. I can see us old and wrinkly, still madly inlove.

Sometimes change is needed.

So my advice is... wait it out. you might miss out on the best thing that could have ever happened to you.

Answer 2

Remember 4 items -

1) Listening

2) Reasoning

3) Understanding

4) Negotiating

You could try the long-lost art of speaking with your husband concerning your thoughts and feelings.

Choose a time when both of you have absolutely nothing to do. (no excuses, then)

Remember that you might need to give up some of your time for this to happen.

Also, choose an atmosphere which is conducive for discussion, such as a "neutral" room of the house, or perhaps (if the weather is nice), sitting on a blanket in the back yard.

Above all, the atmosphere must be relaxing and no interference, such as TV, other people, music, noisy locations, etc.

The simple trick of communicating is CALMLY (and I mean calmly) discussing with your husband your thoughts, dreams, and hopes. Other subjects could also be included.

Remember the word calmly. It does no good if one raises their voice and tries to control the conversation.

Another trick is listening to their side of the conversation. Don't you dominate the conversation and keep your ears open.

Remember, you asked him for his time, so give him your full attention.

Most conversation ends abruptly because of non-listening.

An item of importance; if your husband says something you don't agree with, don't belittle him; instead,

Negotiate and ask him what would be agreeable to him.

(This tends to work wonders - it makes him stop to think, sometimes helping him realize he just might be unreasonable. But keep in mind - he might do this to you, so have some reasonable answers ready.)

Keep the communications open and two-way.

You'll find that listening, reasoning, understanding, and negotiating are very effective ways of communicating and eventually everybody gets what everybody wants.

Answer 3

Marriage is a Very Important Subject in anybodies Life. Really, most of the Girls cannot Identify or understand their Husband before Marriage, Because, they are not getting a chance to know their Husband before Marriage. Arranged Marriage is facing these problems. Because, Girl's Family is looking for the Boy who are according to their or Family status. I have to talk to you is that, Dreams and Reality will be Totally different especially according to the case of Family Life. It is better try your best to cooperate with yuor Husband. If it is not possible, Please inform this subject to your Parents or Close Relatives for finding a Complete Solution for this very Precious matter- Good Luck.

Answer 4

Getting mad @ each other is part of married life. Working through it is a sign of maturity. My advice would be to decide now that you are going to be married to this man forever no matter what. When you have this kind of commitment youll make your marriage work & wont be jumping into another non committed relationship. Be careful as well about what youre thinking bc your actions will eventually follow your mind.

Answer 5

What you are going through is just a phase it will past.The thing you need to worry about is when your husband goes through phases because men don't analyze like we do they just react and if there is another woman around showing him any kind of attention he will take it very serous and your marriage could be in trouble. My first 5 years of marriage i dreamed of me and my son leaving my husband and getting our own apartment and i also did not want him to touch me,that was 27 years ago so you see we all go through phases and there will be more to come.

Answer 6

You have made a mistake. Get out of it now.

Whats the point of ruining some of the best years of your life? In twenty years you will still feel the same as you do now, so why not start afresh while you are still quite young.

A marriage is supposed to be a partnership between loving equals, not a discontinuous argument.
.

Answer 7

Yo honeybee. You sound like my wife. We ALWAYS argue over stupid stuff and she goes to bed in a huff. I hate it. I feel like you except that I wish that she would touch me. I'm thinking for affection elsewhere because she withholds sex and affection `because she gets her panties in a knot.` But we eventually make up and take the roller coster upwards until it starts to head back down again.

Make up your mind! If you love him then take my advice: Don't go to bed mad; stay up and fight. Resolve the problem then go and have great sex. You will both feel better in the morning.

Answer 8

Does he hit or abuse you? I think that it would be best to get some couples therapy. How was he like before the marriage? You do think that he has change? If you want to save the relationship get couples therapy. Also you are so young, maybe you guys are not ready to be married?

Answer 9

Sit down with yourself and ask what it is that you want. You married him for some reason. I think you like the idea of getting married but not the marriage part.

Answer 10

There was something that attracted you to this man. You will need to think about this. Not wanting him to touch you is scarey as we as humans need the touch of someone. it sounds like you have a lot of hatred bottled up. I suggest you see a counselor and talk things out.