He is at the age that friends are wanting to come over and spend the night. Do i tell the parents that i am gay, i want them to know but i don't want my son to loose out of friends because of the parents. What would you do?
2007-06-20 17:35:52 · 12 answers · asked by trisha c *for da ben dan* 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
i have lived with my partner for 6 years. So ya i do have a partner. Thank you for the advice, i think the seperate sleeping arangements would be very smart too.
2007-06-20 17:49:43 · update #1
No, there's no need to.
Do you live with a girlfriend or partner? If so that might require a seperate sleeping arrangement when your son has friends over. But other than that, unless your son brings it up, there's no need to tell his friends or their parents.
As a mother of a now 18yr old, my partner and I simply slept in seperate rooms when our son had a sleep over. It just wasn't a big deal. My son handled his friends at an age when he was comfortable about it.
Now at his age, most of his friends and their parents are well aware of my partner and I being a same-sex couple. We haven't run into any problems and as a matter of fact, we're actually good friends with the other parents.
They saw that we were good parents and that our son was our first priorty and our being gay has simply never been an issue.
2007-06-20 17:40:46 · answer #1 · answered by DEATH 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does your child know about your relationship or does he think that you and your partner are just friends? That is a key there. If he knows and is accepting, there is a good chance that he may have told his friends. I think this is a non-issue if he does know. My sons were told early on when my partner and I started seeing each other. Their friends dont have a problem with it so I feel no need to announce myself as a lesbian to their parents. My partner and I do not conduct ourselves inappropriately in public anyway. We are probably more conservative than most straight parents in that respect.
2007-06-21 07:00:55 · answer #2 · answered by Friskie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that's a pretty tough question there. I don't think you should go out of your way to tell them your sexual orientations..just like I'm sure they don't go out of their way to tell you theirs. It's your business not theirs. If you do want to let them know you should do it on a person by person basis. You are a fairly good judge as to how the person will react. Do you have a partner? If you do it might be more obvious that you are gay. I wouldn't stress over it though...with time and people getting to know you and your son better I'm sure it will be alright.. GOOD LUCK SWEETIE :)
2007-06-21 00:41:09 · answer #3 · answered by T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My partner and I have been together for 5 years, we have a 16 year old and a 9 year old. My daughter who is 16 is the only one who has had sleep overs, but we have never had an issue. We have never had to bring it up to any parents, however, my daughter does let her friends know.
We do not do separate sleeping arrangements, however, of course, we carry ourselves with the utmost respect when her friends are over.
It really won't be a big deal, you'll see.
Good luck.
2007-06-21 00:57:54 · answer #4 · answered by ☮ wickey wow wow ♀♀ 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I just broke up with someone who had an 11 year old. The biggest mistake I made is staying the night over there...practically living over there. So regardless of your sexual orientation, I would suggest that unless you are in a monogamous relationship, don't let them stay the night; at the very least don't let them stay the night when your son is having friends over.
2007-06-21 00:42:00 · answer #5 · answered by Liesel 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Anyone who would let their children spend the night without KNOWING the parents, deserve a surprise.
Parents are parents, whether straight OR gay. Why should YOU have to reveal your sexuality? You shouldn't! Its not who your child is, nor what your child seeks friendship for from his friends. YOUR SEXUALITY has NOTHING to do with him. : ) Take it on a case by case scenario, seeing how the parents are when you phone them to introduce yourself and ask permission for the stay-over.
But, you must be a Great Mother to consider him and his friends first! Good luck!
2007-06-21 00:57:25 · answer #6 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
As long as your conducting your life in a respectable manner, your sexual references shouldn't matter, not is it any of they're business. I used to have a manager who was a gay guy. All the girls called him names, like "flaming ******" and ignorant sh it like that, in return, he didn't like them. I never treated this man like they did, and one day he asked me why I was so nice to him when the rest of the gang was so mean to him. I looked his straight in the face on day and I said, " You know something Mike, your good to me and I respect you, I like you and to me your pretty cool. Who you go home to is YOUR business, not mine, and you seem to be happy. I like my friends to be happy in they're lives and to me your not just a boss, your my friend". He almost cried. I moved away and I really miss him, he was authentic and he was just so likeable. The other girls were always so jealous because him and I got along really well and we hung out together a good bit at work, oh well, right? I am a straight person, my cousin was in a lesbian relationship for 8 years though. It's your preference, your business. I wouldn't make it a point to tell them right out because they may judge you, if they find out later, be upfront. People respect honest people, chances are later down the road, it won't matter to them either once they get to know you for the good person I'm sure you are.
2007-06-21 00:51:40 · answer #7 · answered by Wutz it worth 2 ya? 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I see you care about your sun and you realize that because of the way you are he might be harmed in some way. That's a good thing to realize, but think that you are not the only lesbian on Earth and you do not have to announce your lifestyle to everyone. It is not their business.
2007-06-21 00:44:56 · answer #8 · answered by Esmeralda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say get to know them and let them see what a fabulous mom you are first. Then as it may come up in conversation, bring it up in passing, as if it's no big deal. I've noticed people are more receptive once they know you. I bring it up like I would bring up that i'm of German decent or from Wisconsin or have naturally curly hair or what have you. It's just a part of who I am.
2007-06-21 00:45:00 · answer #9 · answered by scoop 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you don't have a partner who lives with you or stays over I wouldn't even mention it because it is a non-issue.
If your partner does stay with you, you may need to explain...
Peace
2007-06-21 00:39:36 · answer #10 · answered by DontPanic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋