I just recently found out that my husband has been talking to many women on the internet and had plans to meet. We have been married 4 years and have 2 children. I have never been unfaithful and I do not deserve this~ I am 25 and working towards my nursing degree and I have a bright future ahead of me, I'm just not sure where to go from here I do not want the marriage to end, but I can not do this anymore.
2007-06-20 17:23:03 · 22 answers · asked by Misty M 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let me add that he lost his job 2 months ago and told me it was because he was late 1 to many times. IWe recieved a letter from his employer and the real reason he got fired was because of instant messaging, and looking at improper web sites.
2007-06-20 17:26:51 · update #1
You must confront him with the information, and ask him what HE is going to do about it. Do it quietly, and make sure that he knows that he's going to have to make a decision about his contribution to the marriage. Men can regress into boyhood very easily on the internet - it may be an imaginary world to begin with, but it can quickly descend into the only world. Let him know that he has to take responsibility for his actions, and get back onto the right track, whatever that is. Give him a bit of time, but keep the pressure up gently, and hopefully he will wake up.
Just as a matter of interest, I could have gone that way, but at 71, I'm just a bit too crusty and experienced to fall for that. But I admit that it can be tempting, without you really knowing what you're doing.
2007-06-20 17:32:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your Hubby has a BIG problem. You need to sit him down and tell him how this is affecting your marriage and life together. By him getting fired because of Internet use..that puts your home life in jeopardy. Ask him if it's worth the trouble. He has a wife at home he should be looking to for his needs...rather than women on the Internet. Tell him how his behavior really makes you feel. And, let him know that you love him but if he continues to cheat you will leave him. If that's not a wake up call for him..and he still continues to act irresponsibly.. leave him. A Wife can only do and put up with so much.. Best of luck.
2007-06-21 00:33:43 · answer #2 · answered by Christine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know you love him and you want this marrige to work but you have so much to offer and he takes you for granted. cheating is something that is always going to be there. you have no idea if he has cheated already. the trust isnt going to be there and your marrige is going to be different from now on. you can try talking to him and letting him know how you feel about this but if hes already looking for other women to sleep with it dosent seem like he really wants to make this marrige work. try talking maybe take a vacation spend some more time together and see if that helps. but the doubt is alwyas going to be there and you already know that because your asking for help. its something thats going to hurt alot but you should move on with your life. at least split up for a while give yourself some time to see if this is really worth it. you dont deserve this and just because you have kids dosent mean you have to be misrable. dont let a man put you down you are so much more then a wife and a mother. you are going to get a great carrer and find a man who really loves you and will stay faithful to you. you said it yourself you cant do this with your husband anymore. then dont put yourself through any more pain. move on a find a man who will love you and stay faithful to you and only you. your going to be a nurse you dont need this ****. your strong kick him to the curb and find yourself the man of your dreams!!!
2007-06-21 00:41:45 · answer #3 · answered by ilikeitalot82 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK let me just say once a cheater always a cheater and you might not want the marriage to end but you shouldn't be in an unhappy marriage either you need to let go because you deserve better than that its probably not what you want to hear but in my opinion its the truth sorry hope this helps
2007-06-21 00:28:17 · answer #4 · answered by Bootylicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear heart...you do not have a bright future if you stay with this man...he has no idea what marriage means, has crossed the line big time, even at work. He is acting like a teenager whose hormones are out of control...or perhaps he is on drugs...you would not know. At any rate, you are not going to find happiness with this one, nothing will change what is going on. It is time to readjust your thinking as to how you want to spend your life and who you want to spend it with. Good luck and peace.
2007-06-21 00:52:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on because he is addicted to cyber net and IM and watching women with cams.I myself talk in chat rooms and the men can get very nasty and dirty and everyone of them are married men.I just hang up on them when they talk dirty. It's very hard to find normal people who just want to talk about everyday stuff. Some of the women are worse then the men.Your husband has it bad and if you love him and he is really willing to stop and make the marriage work then maybe you can give him another chance.
2007-06-21 00:41:03 · answer #6 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard one! You really have to listen to your own heart and do what's best for you. If you honestly don't want your marriage to end, why not try going to a marriage counselor? It may help, if anything you'll know that you tried. I wish you the best in whatever you choose!
2007-06-21 00:28:57 · answer #7 · answered by cosmicalbitch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm soooo Sorry for you. I know just what you are going through. My husband was having an online affair. He was going to move to another country to be with another woman leaving me and his children, his house etc. You need to confront him tell him you know what he has been doing. The one question that I asked my husband was "is she worth it" I wanted to know how much he cared for her. When I asked him if she was worth it he couldn't answer. I then told him he had 1hour to dump her and if he ever tried to contact her again it would be over and he would not only lose me but his family. It took him 10 minutes to get rid of her. www.divorcebusters.com was very helpful to me. I can't tell you to do what I did. I did what I had to I had no hope left. It was an all or nothing bet for me. I had nothing left to loose. I won. I was very lucky I could have lost everything. Sincehe asked me to renew our wedding vows. we did and are starting over. Best luck to you. It isa very hard road you are going down but if you trully love him it is worth it. I have no regrets.......It still hurts.
2007-06-21 01:32:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out if he want's to continue. If he actually pursues this any further, drop him like a hot rock and don't look back.
HOWEVER - If he promises never to do this again, keep him on a short leash and install monitoring software on the computer.
I know it sucks, but hang in there!
2007-06-21 00:28:26 · answer #9 · answered by ripperdear6766 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you plan on staying then you need to set some grounds with him. Let him know how you feel. Also maybe conceling will help. If he doesn't go then he doesn't want to work at your marrige.
I wish you the best of luck on what you decide.
2007-06-21 13:59:55 · answer #10 · answered by Mom2KCnKTnBre 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋