I think my husband of 13 years is cheating?

Question

Im 36 and hes 39..We have a 12 year old daughter and 10 year old son.
Married almost 12 years
I started noticing all these calls on his cell phone. It called on Feb 27th and my husband got off quick saying wrong number.
On april 7th, I check his messages and its her saying you must have not went on break yet , Give me a call.
I called her and she said Oh we are just friends, I asked a few questions, she said ask him.
He told me she was a wife of 1 of his coworkers amd calling him asking where he is.
I found out it wasnt the guys wife.I call her and she said get over it, I havent been with your hubby..
I noticed he lied about taking a guy home at 4 in the morning, He said he went to work one day and it was a holiday, He wasnt there, I checked, He lied and swears he was there..
These calls stopped when I talked to her April 7th, But I know I heard another phone ring when I was on the phone with him one night.He works 4pm to 1 or 2 am and this woman called always at 3 & 4am,

Answer 1

I would think that he is cheating. Sounds kinda suspicious to me.

Answer 2

You already know the answer to this question. All the signs (and then some) are there. I was married for almost 15 years when my husband cheated and then left me for the woman. I saw the signs but dismissed them because I really loved him and I guess I defended him. But I'll tell you, it doesn't sound like the greatest relationship anyway except for the fact that your kids came out of it, and maybe God is trying to steer you in a new direction because the relationship is no longer a positive thing for you anymore. In other words, I think everything happens for a reason. I'd move on. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Almost everything you have said my husband did the very same thing as your husband right down to coming in at 4:00am in the morning and working on a holiday and another phone ringing when i was on the phone with him. I could go on and on but you no what is going on but he keeps telling you that nothing is happening and you want to believe him you need to believe him to keep you from going crazy.I no what you are feeling i just hope he doesn't leave you like mine did, even though he did come back after 2 1/2 years.

Answer 4

I WOULD 'GUESS' THAT HE IS CHEATING....OF SOME SORT! It may only be EMOTIONAL cheating, not sexual yet. They do have a friendship because THERE ARE TOO MANY CALLS AT AN INDECENT HOUR FOR THERE NOT TO BE ''SOMETING'' GOING ON.

A change of habits, not at work when you said you were, are just a few classic signs of an affair. SHE IS CLEARLY LYING AND POSSIBLY PROTECTING HIM....he has given her one reason after another why he is still with you. AND, IT MAY NOT BE HER, IT MAY BE A FRIEND OF HERS! ONLY HUBBY AND GOD KNOWS THE TRUTH.

LET YOUR HUBBY KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT A FOOL AND HE CAN JUST MOVE OUT AND BE WITH HER...THAT HE CANNOT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS. BE SERIOUS, DO NOT SCREAM--SPEAK CALMLY--DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM AND TELL HIM HE HAS BROKEN THE TRUST YOU ONCE HAD. Do not fear him being pushed to another, THAT IS YOUR PURPOSE. IF HE IS GOING TO BE WITH ANOTHER, IT WILL NOT MATTER IF YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH HIM OR NOT. IF YOU NEED SEX, USE A CONDOM WITH HIM. BUT MAKE IT NOT OFTEN AND BECOME A SELFISH LOVER.

CHANGE YOUR HABITS. TAKE THE KIDS FOR DINNER OUT AND SHOW UP HOME AT DIFFERENT TIMES. DON'T BE PREDICTIBLE. GET A BABY SITTER, OR FAMILY TO WATCH THE KIDS AND TAKE IN A MOVIE ALONE. GET REAL UNPREDICTABLE!

WHEN A CHEATER SEES THAT HE CANNOT CONTROL YOU, PREDICT YOU, IT BRINGS THEIR BUTTS HOME TO 'MAKE SURE' HE STILL HAS YOUR LOVE. GIVE IT VERY SPAIRINGLY! STAY BUSY, BUT NEVER WITH ANOTHER MAN.....YOU DON'T WANT TO CONFUSE YOUR LIFE ANY MORE THAN IT IS NOW!

KEEP IN MIND, THAT HUBBY'S THAT CHEAT ARE NOT USUALLY LOOKING TO FALL IN LOVE, THEY ARE OUT THERE FOR THE THRILL, BECAUSE THEY CAN, BECAUSE WE ACCEPT IT AND ALLOW THEM TO RUN OVER US. YOU CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. EITHER HE WILL COME BACK INTO THE FOLD...IF ONLY FOR A WHILE, OR HE WILL VENTURE FARTHER.

IT IS SAD, BUT IT IS BETTER TO FIND OUT WHICH SOONER THAN LATER, SO YOU CAN MAKE SOME PLANS OF YOUR OWN TO BE HAPPY. GOOD LUCK, GOD BLESS.

PS: NEVER TELL HUBBY ALL OF WHAT YOU KNOW AND BLUFF A LOT. LIE ABOUT THE CONVERSATION YOU HAD WITH THE WOMAN! "SHE SAID SHE WANTED YOU. THAT SHE SLEPT WITH YOU." IT SHOULD MESS HIS MIND UP PRETTY GOOD, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO IS TELLING THE TRUTH.

Answer 5

Tomorrow go see a divorce lawyer. If you suspect cheating, you are right. There are lots of signs here. The cell phone bill is a good one. Another to check are credit cards. You will likely find meals out and other things like lingerie and flowers. Do not tell him you are going to see a lawyer....and get a good one......not the cheapest one. Your future will depend on a good lawyer to get the most for you and your kids. You need to find out your rights in your state. Do not tip him off so he has a chance to hide money, close bank accounts, and run up credit card bills that you will likely be responsible for half. This is a sad situation but you need to be strong for your kids. You deserve a good husband and they deserve a good Dad. Get rid of this bum because this is not going to get better, only worse. And you don't want your daughter to learn to settle for a life with a cheater when she grows up because she watched you settle.

Answer 6

Don't be silly...you know as well as we do that he is playing around on you. You don't need black and white glossies to know what is going on. Please don't play into his hand by swallowing such nonsense...think it over as to what you want to do...are you better off with him or without him????? You have 12 years under your belt, hopefully counceling will get this mess fixed...please do NOT go flying off the handle with divorce until you really look deeply into your future. This mess will go away if you BOTH decide to make it work. I never suggest divorce as a solution, for divorce is a failure all the way around. I wish you the best of luck, but .... this line he is handing out has to stop.

Answer 7

All the ingredients are there to suspect he`s cheating, even her answer to you on the phone is typical of a woman being caught red handed. If I were you I would start to investigate. Go through his pockets, look at his phone bills, follow him or better hire someone to follow him etc.

Answer 8

darling... if i were you id do a little more investigating. borrow a friends car, dress like someone else. i mean go all out. wear a wig and everything. follow him for one day. see what hes been up to. have someone investigate for you. cuz to me my dear it sounds like a cheater. that must be soo terrible. im sorry if he is. but i dont understand how he can say hes not, when a woman is calling at 4 in the morning. sounds fishy. dont believe him. he sounds scared to tell you the truth. just check on it. goood luck.

Answer 9

If you're already suspecting that he's cheating, he probably is. The evidence is all there, you know how men can be, there should be no excuses for his actions. If he REALLY was friends with her...even you would know, the fact that you hold these suspicions now is evident that he probably is cheating on you. Confront him and tell him to break it off, fix this marriage or you'll file for a divorce

Answer 10

He is either having an emotional or a physical relationship with this woman. Tell him that if his family means anything to him at all that he will never give you any other reason to doubt him.

Answer 11

I went through it, the unkonwn email address that just happened to include the name of his friend who was a girl, who acted as if she loved me to death, then I stumbled on a recieved files history on my comp. Guess what they werent just friends. well they hadnt went that far yet but that was the plan. Tell him straight up if you want someone else -leave, Ill be okay, but its not worth it to do this to you or me.