anyone out there that can answer this or just give an opinion?

Question

My bf for 5yrs goes out about once a year and smokes crack. should I leave? I have 2 kids by him and 1 more from a previous marriage. what do you think?

he has stopped but like I said it IS only once a year. I know this for a fact. now if it were every week or once a month then hell yeah I would leave in a heart beat.

I do feel like I should leave but I want to make sure that I'm doing the right thing for the kids sake. he never does i at home or never is high around the kids at all! just to get that straight!

Answer 1

There are allot of things from this..

1) How long does he stay out when he does go out?

2) Does it put a financial burden on you and your 3 kids?

3) Does he steal stuff from you and the kids to support this habbit?

4) Do the kids know about him doing it, and if so do they know its wrong?

5) Do you love him?

After asking those questions to yourself and him, decide if you are ready to fix or move on from this problem.

My mother in law used to have this problem, but instead of disowning her (which is what I wanted to do) I sat down and had a heart to heart with her. I offered to move away from the area, typically most people that buy it, buy it from the same person all the time.

If I were you and you are ready to stop this problem move away from the area (with him), and tell him he needs to stop. Get him involved with someting in the community (church, habbitat for humanity, roadside cleanup) and help him by not allowing any of the triggering things happen around him. Triggering things are alcohol, ciggarettes, other drugs, and sugar.

I am sorry that you have to go through this especially with someone you love, at least for me it was my mother in law and I am not required to really love her. I hope this helps you.

Answer 2

He isn't doing it only "once" a year, no one does it every year, but only once anually! You just don't know about it. He's a crack head & you need to face that fact. Denial is no good either, you have kids to think about & does he do it in fron of you, in the house, or go somewhere to do it?
If you're asking if you should leave him for doing crack "once a year" then the answer is no. If you're asking if you should leave him b/c you don't love, respect, aren't attracted to him, or think you can do better, then yes.....leave. That feeling will only get worse & more nagging. Do what you is right for you and those babies darlin!! Good luck

Answer 3

Any question that has someone smoking crack and kids in the same sentence is not right. You can not stay with him if he continues to do this...I don't care if its every day or once a year...its still dangerous. What if your kids find out? Hey, dad smokes crack...but its ok, its only once a year. And then teachers get involved, the police, child services, etc. This is a huge nono.

Answer 4

I don't know what it is your wanting clarified, on one breath you are asking if you should leave, on the other your are justifying that it is only once a year and that he has stopped. So what is the issue then? Should you leave? NO. You stated he's not doing it daily/weekly or around the kids, so what is the problem? You asked should you leave because of something that you state he's not doing now, then NO.

Answer 5

in my opinion: crack is highly addictive. chances are he smokes it more than once a year. tell him that you do not want to expose your children or self to this behavior. if it is only once a year he should have no problem stopping. crack destroys people and he should not do it. if he can't stop then YES you should leave b/c crack will destroy you while destroying him. then who will take care of the children. be smart and think about your children.

Answer 6

Crack is a bad thing, as I'm sure you know. Get it out of the house and away from the kids!

Answer 7

WOULD YOU WANT YOUR KIDS TO SMOKE CRACK? THEY DONT KNOW NOW BUT THERES ALWAYS THE CHANCE THEY WILL FIND OUT. IS HE /WOULD HE BE SETTING A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR THEM? IF ITS OK FOR HIM IT MUST BE OK FOR US. HE SAYS HE ONLY DOES IT ONCE A YEAR. CAN YOU BE SURE OF THIS? BESIDES IT IS ILLEGAL! IM NOT SAYING THAT YOU SHOULD END THE RELATIONSHIP. HAVE YOU DISCUSSED HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT WHAT HE DOES?DOES HE WANT THE DRUG MORE OR DOES HE WANT TO BE A CLEAN MAN FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN? YOU DESERVE THE BEST HE CAN BE AS DO YOUR CHILDREN.BESIDES, CRACK COST MONEY. COULD IT BE PUT TO BETTER USE SUCH AS A NICE EVENING OUT AS A FAMILY? TALK TO HIM !!!!!!!!! YOU NEED TO COMMUNICATE!!!!!!.

Answer 8

If he's smoking crack it's damned sure more frequently than once a year...that's the nature of that substance. Leaving is an option, but talking to him "intervention-style" may be a better immediate solution to exhaust first. You always have the option of leaving if he refuses to get help.

Answer 9

I have a hard time believing that he is only doing this once a year. Most likely, he does it on a regular basis and hides it from you. Him only doing it once a year is his cover story, so you don't bug him about it. Crack is a very addictive and dangerous drug. I would not recommend staying in this relationship.

Answer 10

Talk to him about it since it bothers you. If he won't stop try to find other ways of convincing him. You already have your children to worry about and you don't want them to grow up without a father in the picture. But at the same time if you believe that him using crack is negatively affecting your children then leave him. But as I said before, talk first.