He loses his job. She has better pay job, so they decide he is 2 stay home & watch baby until it is old enough 4 day care. She comes home from work finds out that he has not done any housework, etc. She figures what the hell, Baby is hard work.
Baby becomes easier to take care of. She notices that Man now sleeps all day, spends lil time entertaining Baby , will not help out in the house, & is up all night w/friends. He is also making comments about no $$ for "fun" things. She sits him down and tries 2 have a talk about why she cannot do EVERYTHING and go 2 work 2. He makes her feel guilty, tells her that it is her fault he is depressed. She says she will try harder. She comes up with way for him to go back to school and get degree. She pays for everything. They get married. He graduates, has to look 4 work. She's still supporting the family. He ignores his wife, puts her down, doesn't listen when she is sad about situation. Twists what she says & says it's her fault. She loves him.
2007-06-20 13:08:31 · 14 answers · asked by Whyruafraid? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
so, you are married to a man who refuses to accept responsibility for his own life and actions. This obviously is not conducive to a healthy relationship. better start communication before your feelings change irreversably and it is too late.
there are some major underlying issues that need to be explored in counseling (self-pity, depression, jealousy). these are poison to your marriage and must be addressed now. perhaps you need to get him back into the job market where he might belong and be happier.
2007-06-20 15:12:42 · answer #1 · answered by Mon-chu' 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't take that guilt trip that you are to blame for his depression and that he is a #1 LOSER. It is not your fault... But HE is at fault for "using" you big time. Right now... I'd give him the ultimatum: You either GROW UP NOW and become a husband and father and a provider for this household and start acting the way you should, forget about those friends and be responsible like a real man should be, .....OR he can pack his sh*t up and get out and you will be filing for divorce. He is a loser and he knows it and he wants you to support him while he has no interest in his family.... good Lord, I am so mad at him right now and I don't even know him....You have been nice to him long enough and he repays you by acting like this???? It is time to toughen up and stand by your ultimatum, don't back down or you will be an enabler to him and he will continue to use you and blame you for everything, and then he will sit on his a$$ forever - if you let him. And he will make you feel like it is your fault so that you won't blame him for his own sh*tty behavior. Don't take that guilt crap from him anymore - he is the only one responsible for his lack of responsibility. And is he depressed when he is up all night with his buddies? He thinks he is single while he mooches off of you. Now, you don't deserve that treatment do you??? If he won't change, get rid of him. I'll bet he will get a job real fast when he is out on his own, or he will shack up with someone else....
2007-06-20 13:29:10 · answer #2 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time has come for some tough love. Just tell him that youve had enough and either he helps or gets work or youll leave him with the baby. If you leave youll get custody and he will have to pay child support and the Judge doesnt care if he has a job or not as long as the support is paid. Maybe this just might put a scareinto him and get him going. Worth the try to save your sanity. Good luck
2007-06-20 13:23:03 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to the article, she was having IVF treatment at a Russian IVF clinic but thought she'd lost the baby. The article said she was desparate for a child and had tried for many years and so, part of me is happy for her but I feel for the child. She/he could have a wonderful childhood but is either going to be left without a mother at an early age or having to deal with being a carer to the mother in his teens or if lucky, his early 20s - at the time he/she should be sorting out his/her own life. I hope it doesn't work out like this but I do feel the mother has put her own needs before thinking about the repercussions for the child!
2016-04-01 08:41:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like you already know the answers and just need a little support or for someone to agree with you....you're right, this is a bunch of crap. Kick him out! If he can prove to you that he's straightened up and gotten a job and shows some interest in helping out with the kids/house then let him back if you choose. Worked for me.
2007-06-20 13:18:34 · answer #5 · answered by mommy29 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get help, real help. It sounds like he was not cut out to be a stay home dad and it made him very resentful. I'm not saying it's a fault thing. If that is what made things go down hill, then get counseling together and come together again.
2007-06-20 13:17:57 · answer #6 · answered by Ivy_Woman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is not the glue that will keep you two together. It does not seem like your husband appreciates you or the things you do and sacrifice for the family. You should spend your life with someone who respects you and can make a positive contribution to the family.
2007-06-20 13:22:55 · answer #7 · answered by mahdiya 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've done everything you could to help your husband along the way. It's not your fault he's got issues. Sounds like he needs counseling, and maybe you could benefit from going to counseling together since you still love him.
2007-06-20 13:19:29 · answer #8 · answered by 12879 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first I would say you need a new view of true love-beyond that I will share some help and pray for you him and the baby too=true love is the answer, yet as usual, seeking to help someone that is proving something, along with most people look for it first in the wrong places. what helped me most =
there is no set way to build a friendship-where is the friendship-friends help friends, yet everyone is different and every circumstance is different-care is a needed. realizing that one doesnt need another to be happy, and in truth if one can not be happy within themselves they will never stay happy outside of themselves.
what helped me the most-was the help of Jesus to my heart and soul-and letting him build my self esteem to know within that true happiness comes first from him. John 3 repented of my sins (even one lie) and born again with Jesus in my heart as my best friend once I asked him in (Revelation 3:19&20) "I love you and ask you to repent of your sins, Behold I knock on your heart door to come in and deliver from sin and be your friend, when you ask me in."
so I prayed-"Jesus I am sorry for my sins (even one lie is a sin) come into my heart and help me, be my friend, amen."
praying for you, relax life will go on, and soon you will see it is better than ever, and that there is importance in a guy who will honor you in Jesus -and as Jesus promises "once you believe, I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13
prayin for you-for Jesus perfect will, David
2007-06-20 13:19:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
STORY OF MY LIFE.He is lazy what can I say.Thank goodness there is only one child.He is damaged goods move on.Yes you helped educate him now from the outside he will be forced to pay child support.Demand separation support.maybe when he realizes you are not falling for the guilt trip anymore he is going to shape up
2007-06-20 13:34:48 · answer #10 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋