My husband and myself have been seperated for about 3 years and he as never paid any childsupport and he doesn't see her that often maybe once a month on a good month maybe twice! He as never had her over night(never wanted too not my choice) Now that I am asking for a divorce he says he is not going to pay child support and that he will go after custody of her! Can this really happen? I know he as rights and I am all for them but what about mine? I have raised her own my own with no help from him can they really reward him by taking her away? Why punish me? Please help!!!!!!!!!
2007-06-20 12:53:23 · 15 answers · asked by rere 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
rere now i c how bad it gits with those pakistani man, but you are in america and us women have rights. Dont be scared there are many laws that protect us. just so you might remember me i was the girl who asked the question about the pakistani man divorcing their own family to git with a non-muslim woman. hope to hear from you soon......and take care
2007-06-20 14:27:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is threatening to take your child because he is trying to scare you so that you don't pursue the child support. Ignore it. In fact, don't talk to him anymore. Contact a good lawyer and go after him for the support, he is a DEADBEAT Dad and he wants to keep it that way. He would have to prove you an unfit mother (and believe me, it takes a lot to prove that) before he could possibly get your child. However, he is the unfit parent here and your lawyer will represent you and get exactly what he owes you, including back child support. Go for it...he cannot get custody of your child when he has not supported her OR even spent much time with her, so don't let him frighten you or intimidate you. As for rights...I guarantee that the Court will be on YOUR side, and YOUR child side. Your husband will be the loser, he will have to fork over 25% of his pay and then some. And he knows it - that is why he is threatening you. Stand Strong dear!!
2007-06-20 20:06:02 · answer #2 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never fear my dear... in a court of law, he would have to prove himself, and with his history of getting the kid maybe 2x a month, you don't have a thing to worry about. The judge will rip him a new one when they find out no support has been paid. They may fuss at you for not pressing it, but the end result, you will probably wind up getting back child support, win custody and everything will be fine. I know as a mom, you'll do what it takes to keep your child. To get all this process going, he's going to have to hire an attny, get a court date, etc. If he follows thru with this, good. I'm sure he has a judge just sitting there waiting to fix him right up. Before its all said and done, his bank account and his rights will be at ground zero. Also, if he initiates all of this, your attny can put in the papers that your attny fee's need to be paid by him, cause you have no money. So, he's having to pay to get screwed.... Sit back and relax honey.....let him dig his own grave.
2007-06-20 20:17:48 · answer #3 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband knows that if you file for divorce, that he will not have a choice and will have to pay child support, so to keep you from not filing, he threatens custody. It is a typical move. However, because he spends almost no time with your daughter, the courts are not going to give him custody, only visitation. And in turn, you will get court ordered child support. Good Luck
2007-06-20 20:02:19 · answer #4 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer - one that specializes in child custody cases. Go to you local child support place (family court can refer you or the department of social services can) and file for custody and for child support. You can do this seperately from the divorce. You can ask for support dated back to the time you split. He can ask for custody - but most judges see when it is sincere and when it is just a fight in the divorce. So, file for custody and support completely seperate from the divorce. YOu seem to have a good case for custody - and be willing to allow visitation.
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html
2007-06-20 20:11:24 · answer #5 · answered by geminijeanna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You not going to lose your child so calm down. But you will get child support and if you have a good lawyer you can get possible alimony or transitional alimony. Don't let this guy intimidate you. You really need to go see a lawyer and you will feel so much better because you will have some answers and some knowledge and the upper-hand. The guy wouldn't know what to do with his child if he had her for more that a night anyways and he would end up leaving her with you anyways. Don't let this man scare you or tell you what he is going to give you. You decide what you want and tell your lawyer.
2007-06-20 20:04:42 · answer #6 · answered by Maizy * 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no they wont take her from you. the mother is the most prominent person looked at in custody battles. If your husband has not expressed interest in your child or given child support in anyway there is like a 90-10 chance that he would get visitation rights but you would have primary custody. My brother has been going through a huge battle for his kids for aver 4 years. The only reason he hasnt gotten full custody of his children is because he works for the rail road and keeps unreliable hours. But if you are a good mother and stuff i dont see why he would get full custody.
good luck!
2007-06-20 20:00:17 · answer #7 · answered by chevygirl69_04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Child support and custody / visitation are two different things... Yes, if you go to Child Support Enforcement in your state, HE WILL PAY CHILD SUPPORT or will have to prove in court he cannot or will face legal consequences. EVERY GUY WHO DOESN'T WANT TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT THREATENS TO "TAKE THE CHILD"... (No offense to you good guys... hats off to you.)
He may be able to get custody / visitation - but not "take from you" unless he can prove you've done something to put the child at risk to harm.. You need to document everything between now and then about how involved he is.. Then, you need to try to think of other people / perhaps your daughter who know his past history with regards to her... Contact an attorney and see what they say.
Generally, it is thought that it is in the child's best interest for his or her parents to make decisions together - joint custody; however, in my case, I stuck it out and kept insisting that we cannot make decisions together in her best interest and am being awarded sole custody of our daughter with him having every other weekend visitation....
It's not the best, but every child needs both parents unless the parent poses a risk... and your child needs to know her / his father if possible.
Contact legal aid or an attorney listed as giving free consultation in the phone book...
Best of luck and always keep your child at the front when making decisions....
2007-06-20 20:04:24 · answer #8 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you wait 3 yrs before you mentioned Child Support? You have all of the facts, keep a journal, write down everything, date you seperated, dates of his visits or lack of there of, no over night visits, no help with child support, You have already WON the Costody & Child Support, don't wimp out, he is just trying to get you to play on his terms. Get a Good Lawyer, on TV, there is a commercial about getting child support payments, don't let him bully you, don't give in, fight for your child, if you can't get along, have your lawyers duke it out, that is what they are paid for. don't wait too long, as if he leaves the state it will be harder to collect.
2007-06-20 20:48:25 · answer #9 · answered by ~ANGEL~EYES~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm down as you have nothing to worry about here and the law is on your side unless you agree or sign anything from him or his attorney that the courts cant undo. You will automatically be awarded custody in court unless you are ruled as unfit to be residential custodial parent. Unless you have ever been charged with child or drug/mental abuse you will have no problem and he can say all he wants to because he just aint going to get custody. What he will get is state mandated visitationrights along with child support payments, which he has no choice as they will be court ordered, and possible spousal support too. So please calm down as you really have nothing to worry about here, but just dont agree or sign anything from him and let him shoot his mouth off as he will be greatly surprised in court. Good luck
2007-06-20 20:09:06 · answer #10 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When A woman gets into a marriage with little education,they are usually getting married to morons.These men knowing how little the women know use their ignorance against them.
I bet you didn't know that he would already be paying child support if you had taken him to the Department of Social services?And should be paying you Post separation support if you asked for it in your separation agreement.GO AHEAD AND DEMAND THESE THINGS NOW.
HE IS TRYING TO INTIMIDATE YOU.HE DOES NOT STAND A CHANCE IN HELL AND HE KNOWS IT.
For your child to be taken away from you He has to prove that you are an unfit mother.He can not!Get a good lawyer and set up a payment plan with him.get your parents involved in child care while you get ready for the fight of your life.When you are ready to fight call him up and tell him to BRING IT ON.
2007-06-20 20:20:42 · answer #11 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋