I've been only married with my husband for 6 months and already he's been verbally abusing me and sometimes being physical already. I am 5 months pregnant with his first child, but he constantly blames me for everything, even if its not my fault, which causes me to be insecure with myself, and he gets even more upset when that happens... Help, is it my fault why he's acting this way with me? How can i stop it. I tried leaving him for one night and yet he didn't realize anything, i was the one who went running back to him.
2007-06-20 12:23:01 · 33 answers · asked by Valerie K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Husband and wife relationship is next to God's Love. Your husband is not feeling well or not alright or having angry somewhere in his work place or with his other relatives or friends and he is showing his anger now in the house with U.. This is called misplaced angers. U talk to him when he is alone and tell him your sufferings because of his shouting and creating scenes for whatever happens in the house. U explain your difficulty and tell him that U love him so much and also tell him at this pregnancy period to behave sensibly with U. Your presentation of difficulties when he is alone will help U. May God Bless U both, Yours VRVRAO
2007-06-20 14:33:40 · answer #1 · answered by Raghavendra R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been abused, so I do know how you feel. I'm sure many woman can tell you their stories as well. Why didn't you put him in jail for abuse? If you do not stand up to him, then you are showing him that it's ok. It is never your fault that you are being abused. The next time he verbally abuses you, grow a pair and tell him that you will no longer tolorate it. If he gets physical, call 911, and file charges. You cannot be afraid, that is what abusers want. He has his own insecurities, that is why he abuses you. He probably looks at him self as a failure in some way and that is how it comes out. DO NOT feel sorry for him. That will get you a lot worse things later on. Feel free to email me if you like. I'm sorry that you are going through this. You need to get strong, real fast.
2007-06-20 12:32:07 · answer #2 · answered by Ivy_Woman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not your fault he's acting this way, but it's your fault for not doing something about it. He has no right to verbally or physically abuse you; it's unfair, immoral, and illegal. If you can't learn to stand up to him, then you're facing a lifetime of abuse and unhappiness, and you're condemning your unborn child to the same fate (yes, if he hits you, esp while you're pregnant, he'll definitely hit your child, too).
You need to leave him, and for good. Pack up and go back to your family or to a friend. Call the cops and report your husband's actions. File for divorce. Focus on starting a new and better life for your child - s/he will be better off with one happy, strong, secure parent than two miserable parents.
No more excuses - he doesn't love you or care about you if he treats you this way. Get up and go.
2007-06-20 12:30:22 · answer #3 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You better put a stop to it now, leave him, any man that will hit or verbally abuse a pregnant woman, is a jerk and can be very dangerous. You better get away before the baby come because you never know what he might do to it when it is little. One time he may go to far and kill you or maybe the child. No man is worth putting up with abuse.
2007-06-20 14:00:27 · answer #4 · answered by tannerlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One Night? Honey you have to leave him for good. Men who treat women like that have no respect for women. Why would you let someone treat you like that and then stay under the same roof? He is an abuser and he needs to be away from you. You cannot change him and you cannot try to keep your marriage together. forget about all that and focus on what is BEST for You and your unborn child. Men like this don't change they only get worse. That is not your concern anyways. Your concern should be to load up and be gone. Forget about the love you feel for this man and forget about raising your baby alone and think about living with some self respect and standing up for what you think you deserve. You had an idea in your head on what you wanted out of marriage and I know this is not it. This is wrong and destructive.
2007-06-20 12:47:28 · answer #5 · answered by Maizy * 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you better leave him at once. When you have the baby he is going to say that the baby was your fault and will continue with acusing you of everything. It is NOT your fault the way he is acting. I think he was abused when he was a child and now is reflecting that with you, and maybe with your child when he is born. Run out of there before it is too late. THings will not get better, they will get worse, because men like him dont change. I say this because of experience. They make promises they will change and cry and ask for firgiveness, but they get worse. That is the pattern in domestic violence, and what he is doing to you is a crime. Dont let your baby grow in an environment of violence like this. Get out of there fast.
2007-06-20 12:34:49 · answer #6 · answered by Gila 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not your fault that your husband is a butthoe, although if you continue to live there and something happens to your baby, now that will be your fault. You know how abusive he is, do you really want to chance your unborn childs life. I am not for divorce, but i am not for abuse either. You need to tell him to get help or you're leaving. If he is this bad already, imgaine how bad it could get if you continue to saty there. There is alot of fish in the sea who will more than be honored to help you. First, talk to him. If he doesn't listen, leave. Do this for your child.
2007-06-20 13:07:30 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is despicable for a man to treat his wife (or any woman) in that manner.
This is in NO WAY your fault.
You have a hard choice ahead of you.
If you decide that you have had enough and he will never change, it is time to leave.
If you decide that the marriage can be salvaged, get help! You should not stay in an abusive relationship. Encourage him to seek counseling. If he is drinking, tell him to quit. Help him overcome his problems, if he is willing. However, if he does not change, you owe it to yourself (and your unborn child) to leave the abusive environment.
2007-06-20 12:55:33 · answer #8 · answered by Sleeck 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all nothing you do deserves you being abused. Get out now because it won't change. Already he has you blameing yourself for his actions and feeling insecure. It's not going to get better, trust me! For your sake and or your baby's as well leave as fast as you can. If you stay he could really hurt you or your baby or worse. If you stay and have a boy he might grow up thinking it's ok to abuse woman.If you have a girl she might grow up thinking it's ok to be abused. Love isn't suppose to hurt sweetie.I'm sure you're afraid to be on your own with a baby but you can do it.You and your baby deserve better. God Bless and good luck.
2007-06-21 01:42:13 · answer #9 · answered by lillulu460 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello. leaving a husband-- i dont advise. being an indian i feel family is must and moreover yu r pregnant too. let the child come to the world and then see the behaviour of yur husband. if it changes in a positive direction then its ok otherwise u can think otherwise. but in india a child without father is very problamatic.
try to coop up with the situation and cool urself. just ignore her abuses and keep cool because giving birth to a child is godly work assigned to u and u hv to givr birth to a happy and cheerful child. why should that ignorant suffer for his faults.
BHUPI
2007-06-20 13:31:49 · answer #10 · answered by bhups 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋