he is 56,married 4 years,both never had kids. now he is trying many ways to force me by saying how happy other people are with kids. but for 4 years,he never satisfied with anything,complaining everything,job,boss,his did,his mom,his brothers,my ways of living,my way of cleaning.......i really dont want to have kid with him. but what should i deal with him.
2007-06-20 12:11:56 · 10 answers · asked by Carol H 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not your question, but from the sounds of things..a divorce is more in order than thoughts of having a child for this guy's sake. The chances of having a normal, healthy baby are very slim...he still wouldn't be happy and you would be stuck alone raising this child. That happens a lot with an older man and much younger woman. Get out while you can and find someone your age that doesn't want children (and most don't if they haven't by then). Why waste the last half of your life as miserable as you are. You'll be 64 if and when that child would graduate (not to mention the ridiculing he would receive for having 'grandparents' for parents) and your husband would be pushing 80! Is that how you want to spend your golden years? I think not. Explain this to your huband! He's in this marriage only for what he can get out of it and nothing more. He's selfish, self-centered, and doesn't deserve you!
2007-06-20 12:30:20 · answer #1 · answered by Rocky 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh please, you didn't know how he was like before you married him? A guy is close to retirement (if not his grave). If he has so many complaints, it's because he is not secure about his job and mentally cannot accept the arrival of golden age.
Even if you get pregnant now, he will be 57-58 when the baby is born. He is more ready to be a grandfather than being a father. A grandfather is one who gets to spoil the kids but not changing the diapers and waking up at night to feed. He will complain to no end during the first 3 years of a baby's life. He wants the fun but I guarantee he won't want the sweat of being a parent.
Normally, a 12 yr old difference is not all that much until the parties' ages are exactly where you are now.
2007-06-20 12:24:19 · answer #2 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do not have children, you are 44, obviously it was not in the cards for you.
If you BOTH (you are part of this) wanted to be parents, you might try being a foster parent, there are tons of kids that could use a helping hand. All children need to be in a positive nurturing environment, free of whining and complaining about "everything", as you described. You sound unhappy, perhaps some counseling would be beneficial.
2007-06-20 12:28:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do not bring a child into that kind of home. After you have the baby, he would be even more critical. If you are so different then you probably need to move on. Do not let any man push you around. Tell him that if he does not like the way you clean, then he needs to do it, or hire someone to do it. The next time he criticises you, tell him to go look in the mirror. He's far from perfect.
2007-06-20 12:25:13 · answer #4 · answered by Ivy_Woman 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If the 4 years you two been together and he has showed you how he goes back and forth, personally, I would not have any children at this late age. He is already 56, that in itself isn't good. You will be the one doing everything for the child. If you don't want to have a child with him, then for God's sake don't allow him to talk you into it.
2007-06-20 12:16:14 · answer #5 · answered by Krinta 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You do not sound like either of you are happy, and perhaps he is pressing hard for a child because he thinks it will solve all the issues/problems? DO NOT have a child with him until you settle those issues because a child will only make things harder, division of labor, who gets up at night, bla bla bla....
You could try marriage counseling???
2007-06-20 12:53:26 · answer #6 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do not bring a life into this world that you do not want. There are too many unwanted children in the world as it is.
Hold your ground. Think about your future, do you really want to be coaching soccer (or whatever) when you are 56 or he is 68? Be rational.
2007-06-20 12:18:11 · answer #7 · answered by QT 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My personal opinion is not to have kids at the age 44 (no offense just my opinion)...
2007-06-20 12:19:17 · answer #8 · answered by whocarez 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
did you both say you didn't want kids before you got married?
2007-06-20 12:22:44 · answer #9 · answered by The Voice Of Reason 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No flipping way. Tel him so. If he does not like that, then he can hit the road. Period.
2007-06-20 12:23:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋