I have been married for almost one year, and I want to get a divorce, I'm still young, no kids.?

Question

I want to be single again not just for the other women, but Shes not smart, has no aspirations, has no sex drive. What should I do? should i stick to it and not be happy anymore? What will my family think? My family lover her to death.

I fell for her bad when I met her, she was in college, and had a good job, but she gained like 50 pounds since, and now she has a going nowhere job. I thought it was going to get better after the wedding. I didnt want to just walk out on her because the wedding was so expensive. Underneath I know shes not very happy either. Currently we are trying to make the best of it. But i want it done.

We are not compatible, she was raised a lonely child and i was raised with like 8 bros. and sisters. She requires way too much attention.

Answer 1

I wrote all the stuff below, trying to help. Then checked to see if your a gamer. You are a punk ***! One of the questions you answered for a man wanting to know if he should cheat is-

"Give in Chester! your a cheetah, wrowr, get 'em wrowr, your a cheetah, wrowr! your a cheetah, wrowr "

For that, You either need to grow up and change your thinking or let her go and find someone who is going to treat her like the beautiful woman God created that she is. You are waisting everyones time, people who thought they could help make your life better.

And your on asking for other womans numbers. PIG!

Anyone who feels sorry for this man, look at the questions and answers on his profile. He's just a creep!
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1st answer....

You may just be going though a stage with it. I also got married young and at times I felt the same way.

I would try not to give into these feelings right away. You need to talk to her about your issues and hear hers as well. It may need to be done in front of a mediator ( like a counselor) so each or you get a fair chance to share your feelings. That way there is less fighting and the person isn't personally vested in your relationship. I am not going to give you a vows leacture. You know what you two said and what they meant. Ask your self, "how would things be different if I was divorced?". If your still going to be together if you are divorced, then you might as well stick it out and see where it goes. If you are going to try to be together after getting divorced, chances our it won't work out and it will distroy your relationship. To where staying married you have more of a chance of it working. It is proven that the 1st year or two is the hardest. It will also get harder again in the 7th year. You may want to look into an anulment since it has been less than a year. (If you decide not to keep with it) With an anulment, there is a deadline. With a divorce there isn't- So take your time deciding what's right for the two of you.

If you honestly can say that you think that she isn't smart, and it took getting married to realize this, your pretty dumb your self. No one can hide not being smart. What did you meet her 1 hour before the wedding?

Talk to your wife!!!
Good luck! I hope you do the right thing.

Answer 2

Did you not know this BEFORE you asked her to marry you and say I DO till death do you part???? WTF? These are things you should have thought about before you went thru with marrying her, which head were you thinking with?? If she was like this when you were dating getting married wasn't going to change things.

I feel that if you knew what you were getting into prior then you made your bed and you should lie in it. It's until death do you part, not until one of us gets bored. However, if she was not like this and suddenly she changed after you put the ring on her finger then you have a legitimate gripe. You should either seek a marriage councelor and see if these issues can be worked on, if her sex drive is zero, then there's a good chance if it's not physical then she's either not attracted to you anymore and is turned off or she doesn't enjoy sex, and you would have some idea when you were dating how she felt about sex, you can't fake that for long periods of time.

Try to work on your marriage before you just up and quit, if all else fails then you have grounds for irreconcilable differences.

I have a friend going thru the same thing, wife has zero sex drive, and wants to quit working and stay home, he's been married 7 years and even though he's miserable, he'd rather stick it out than get a divorce.

Good luck. Don't be so quick to give up, try to work it out before throwing in the towel.

Answer 3

Have you talked with her and told her your concerns? A person cannot even attempt to change if they do not know what is bothering someone about them. Could her self esteem be low because she, too, feels little love in the relationship? Have you considered your part in all of this? Can you walk away from this and feel at peace with how hard you worked at this? Have you worked at this? What good things does your family see in her? Maybe you are focusing too much on the negative. If you can bring some positive things into this relationship maybe you will not continue to feel this way. Nothing worth having is easy. Any relationship will require work. If you are truely unhappy and see no way to work this out then divorce is a definite thing to think about. It sounds like talking with your wife will be a good first step. Please take ownership of your part in this and keep asking yourself what you are doing to save/sabotage this union.

Answer 4

Why in the hell did you get married for? Marriage is for better and worse, that means even when she gains 50 lbs or if she has a job that bites or if she needs too much attention. What could she say about you? Marriage isn't something to take lightly. It is something you work at. If you really fell in love with her, then maybe there is hope for the two of you. You really need to consider getting help.

Answer 5

Dude, as soon as you said "other woman" you lost me. Stop blaming this on your wife, like she's the stupid one with no sex drive. You are looking for excuses for the fact that you want to be with many women and play around.

Do her a favor and leave the picture. Don't worry about your family, I'm sure they already know all about you and the reasons why you are doing this.
They will continue to love her to death after you do this to her and will probably have much sympathy for her.

Divorce, leave that woman alone and do everyone a favor and don't get married again for a long time.

Answer 6

You made a commitment to your wife and to God. Some womens aspirations is just to stand by her man and there is nothing wrong with that. Leaving someone because they're "not smart, has no aspirations, has no sex" isn't a good reason. You chose your happiness. Go to counseling. At least try to make it work. If you just give up then of course nothing will change in her.

Answer 7

I believe you should only consider divorce if you have tried everything in your power to communicate your feelings with no results. If one-on-one communications are not working than try a marriage counselor. You loved her at one point and wanted to spend the rest of your life with her, why the sudden change? If you just walk away from this without giving it a chance you probably won't learn anything and be doomed to repeat the same mistakes in your next relationship(s).

Answer 8

Geeze, I guess you're word isn't worth much. Didn't you promise (legally) to stay together until death do you part, in good times and in bad? It's not like she cheated on you or is physically abusing you. Those are situations that require leaving. You're just bored and I'm quite sure you knew how she was before you got married. Suck it up and stick to your promise. I'd suggest not having kids though cause it doesn't sound like you're going to stick with this marriage.

Answer 9

You need to atleast go to counseling!!! Have you told her what you have just told us? If not you could be just as much to blame. If your not open and honest and giver her the chance to change it is just as much your fault. You need to sit her down and talk. Marriage is NOT easy it takes a lot of work and YOU took a vow. So at the very least you need to try and if you have tried all avenues and it is still not working then maybe it is for the best, but she atleast deserves a chance!

Answer 10

Do you ever do foreplay before driving her? do you ever do anything to warm her up? Just because she has no sex drive you want to divorce her? You only need sex not wife, why in the world you marry her? You ruin your both life dude. Sit down, and talk to her, try to resolve before this get worse. Maybe you both need counselling.