My mother in low got very sick so me and my wife decided to take care of her and so we brought her to england where we leave, soon she ended up in the hospital and a few months later doctors told us she was about to die. We knew that she wanted to be next to her family grave so we decided to sent her back to her country and so make her last wish become true. It took 15.000 pounds to move the body in there including several seats on the plane, ambulance, doctor fees and on and on. Last year however we got separated for different reasons and we both agree that we would share the debts we made as the decision of clearing off the credit cards was taken from both, and especially I did it with my heart. Now I'm with this other woman for the last 6 months and she beleave I should dump the debt on my ex wife as, after all, she was not my mother and we could use that money to have a better life and also plan to have a baby next year. Is it immoral or should just think about money?
2007-06-20 11:26:28 · 34 answers · asked by cristian.t@btopenworld.com 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you already made a deal with your ex, it would be pretty scummy behaviour to now reverse the deal because of what your girlfriend says.
2007-06-20 11:29:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Dear cristian.t. At first I would say that is would be immoral if you were to dump the finances back onto your wife ("ex"). My reasons are quite clear, when you married your wife you became a part of another family, you may have gained brothers in law, Sisters in law, a Father in law and of course a mother in law. It was both of you who decided to bring her to England and it was both of you who decided to grant her, her last dying wish, which was to be by her family grave, which you did with honour. Now this new woman wants you to dump the dept back onto your ("ex") wife so that she has to suffer and deal with the death of her mother and get into financial difficulty paying off what you agreed to help with. If I were you don't dump the money, dump the money grabbing woman who wants more money from you and a better time. Good Luck cristian.t
2007-06-20 12:08:37 · answer #2 · answered by David Wilson 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but if you agreed to help pay down all the debts, you need to honor your ex-wife's mother by helping pay. After all, she's not your mother but she was your mother-in-law. Unless your ex-wife is trying to milk you for more money than you should be paying, I would honor this debt. It's not like you and your current sweetie really need it that much--you said you'd just want it to better your present life.
Marriage binds two people--divorce doesn't kill it. You can't act as if you never had a life before your current sweetie. I'm sure she's not going to be happy about that, because every girl wants to be the most important thing that ever came into her man's life. Just explain that this is something you need to do, and hopefully she'll understand.
2007-06-20 11:34:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you made the agreement you thought it was fair and you agreed to it. Just because you have met someone else, who sounds a little threatened that you still have some connection to your ex. Doesn't mean you can go back on your word. Your word is your honour and your new lady should respect that. Dont become hen pecked by your new lady you made a choice stick to it. How would you or even your new lady feel if the shoe was on the other foot and your ex dumped 7k worth of debt at your door. I bet your new girly would be shouting very loud. Remember you did love and respect your ex once. Dont be a scumbag. Good luck with your new life but stay true to yourself!
2007-06-21 00:09:26 · answer #4 · answered by Psycho Chicken! 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You had an agreed agreement with your ex wife, you in effect had a contract with her.
Your present partner has no say in the past and your past ''agreements'' and the obligation you then made.
You have an 'obligation' which you can chose to either keep or decide to dispose of or ignore.
You have to make up your own mind ...though I'd personally think the less of you for not fulfilling your past obligation ~ and maybe hoping that the Karma of such an action would be washed back onto you by the tides of life.
Namasthe.
Sash.
2007-06-20 11:36:03 · answer #5 · answered by sashtou 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not think it is immoral but it may hurt your ex-wife ecspecially since you made the promise to help with the debt, maybe if you spent less money on that debt every month but still help pay it and maybe the three of you can talk it out in a civil manner and solve the issue of debt.
2007-06-20 11:30:53 · answer #6 · answered by karamelchem_1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your new woman is only thinking of your new life, but you did have a past, and your mother-in-law was part of your life. You should honour this debt, after all you did agree to share the debts. I don't think its immoral, but its certainly unfair not to honour an agreement, hopefully your new partner will understand and even admire you for keeping your word.
2007-06-20 11:45:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say NO...it is not immoral... She is not your problem anymore...But, the money was spent while you were together and you are now still paying on that debt correct? I don't know how your laws work in England but here in the USA without a lawyer you'll have to pay up the wazzu!
2007-06-20 11:35:16 · answer #8 · answered by Dave B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personal debt is personal debt. And you are responsbile only for your own debt and your wife is responsible for hers.
It is up to you if you want help her pay, but you don't have any legal obligation to pay just a moral one.
Your new woman sounds like a money hungry ****, and if you can't afford a baby then why the hell are you having one with her?
2007-06-21 00:08:32 · answer #9 · answered by Saccharin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not go back on your promise with your ex wife. Atleast you two are mature enough to compromise. Your gf sounds childish and selfish. She should respect the fact that it was your mom in law and you loved her and did it from the goodness of your heart.
2007-06-20 23:54:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really hard question to answer, because my instinct is to tell you to act in the best interests of the child to be. But in this one single instance, I am going to say something different. No. Honor that debt. You must be a man of your word, no matter what the cost. For as a man, as a human being, as a person of decency and integrity, all you have is your word. Do not go back on it. Honor that debt.
2007-06-20 11:31:41 · answer #11 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋