Okay i have been married almost 13 yrs now this is my second marriage and have three great kids.My eldest son is 15 yrs old he is from my first marriage that lasted 6.5 months and my twins girl/boy are 12.5 turning 13 soon.I am starting to feel a bit old i am 35 yrs old and starting to question what i have done with my life?I went to college got pregnant then married sons father soon after divorced.I graduated from college by the skin of my teeth with a lot of help from my parents.Met my hubby started dating got married had twins.Went into business with my mom who owns landscape design company,also doing house flips and am in process of trying to add interior design branch to her small company.I love my job and family but feel as if time went by in a fast blur?I always thought i would make a difference i world somehow but really i have not done much in grand scheme of things.I want to start trying new things maybe to feel bit younger again.Is this a midlife crisis?
2007-06-20 10:55:05 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By the way my twins are from my current marriage.My hubby and i have great relationship we still rock the bedroom.But i sometimes feel like i have done nothing really with my life and could use a little adventure?
2007-06-20 11:00:52 · update #1
OK.. you've given birth to three great kids, you have a stable marriage, you're a college graduate, You love your job. Most people only dream of having a life such as yours. So what's missing? Most importantly you are simply not giving yourself enough credit for the great things you have accomplished.
You graduated college period! Not your parents. There's nothing written on your degree that says you graduated by the skin of your teeth. Take that negative out of your vocabulary.
What slaps me in the face when I reread your question is fear of getting old. At 35 with all you have accomplished.. Family, Education and Career, you're right on track.
Look at it this way. You have at the least 35 more productive years and with God's help, good health to build on the next half of your life. Concentrate on that and what's right in front of you now!
I can't tell you what the answer is in making you feel a bit younger. All I can suggest is to remain or get more involved with your children who need their mother. Get involved in your community, expand on your talents and share them with others. Get lost in the grand sceme of life now. You are worth more than you can ever imagine!
2007-06-20 11:52:33 · answer #1 · answered by MrTwister 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't think you've made a difference? Just ask you kids (assuming you'd done a good job of raising young adults) - they'll tell you.
I know what you mean - I turned 35 two weeks ago and stopped to think (God, I'm 1/2 way to 70) - have I accomplished enough yet ?!?!?
What type(s) of things do you want to start trying? Exercise is a good one. Get your hubby to do it with you.
Send the kids off to mother's (or firends for the weekend), go get a make-over and treat you and hubby to a weekend romp. Nothing better to make you feel young again.
As long as you're not talking about walking out on your husband and kids - I say go for it.
I was thinking about taking up Tae-Kwon-Do and some guitar lessons this year (just for kicks). Do whatever keeps you feeling young and loving life.
2007-06-20 11:02:40 · answer #2 · answered by aa889d 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is good to step back once-in-a-while and take stock of where you are in your life. I am 50 and in the midst of the memopause thing. That will pull you up short when you start that. I used this time to make some changes and improvements. I'm old enough now that I no longer care what others think. I just want to have fun! My wonderful hubby understands and loves many of the changes that I have made. The very fact that we are still here and able to function is a good thing. Celebrate it! I think more of it as a midlife high point.
2007-06-20 12:22:24 · answer #3 · answered by Praire Crone 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is.
Sounds to me like you have a wonderful rich life filled with people who love you. What could be better?
We can not all "make a difference" on a grand scale. We operate on a small scale and should feel good knowing that we make those around us happy.
If you can find time, take a class to learn to dance, or sing, or paint....karate even --- whatever may be your passion.
Go on a trip with you hubby to some place you never dreamed of visiting --- Costa Rica or Norway or whatever. Be playful.
If you want to do some volunteer work. Try Habit for Humanity or something.
My friends retired parents (60 years old) just joined the Peace Corps, sold all their belongings and left for Romania for two years.
Never too late to do a little bit. No one needs to change the world. And 35 is young.
I'm 40 and I'm young!
I just learned to snowboard two years ago and I love it and go nearly everyweekend in snow season.
2007-06-20 10:58:08 · answer #4 · answered by cathoratio 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haven't done much??? You seem to have accomplished quite a bit. And 35 is hardly old enough for a mid life crisis. Sounds to me like you and your husband or even your family might want to take more adventurous vacations....dude ranches, safaris or help build a home with Habitat for Humanity. I'm not sure what kind of a difference you were going to make but your life certainly isn't over.....
2007-06-20 11:21:00 · answer #5 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's exactly what it is..I think the best thing we can accomplish or add to the world is well settled, healthy children.So many time we slight our selves for that.
You know life is what happens while we wait for something big to happen.
I'm 49 now..Wow..I have a 10 year old and a 30 year old.And grand kids too..I just shake my head and wonder..what was I thinking...
I think we all look at what we would have done differently..
don't fear anything..You need a good moisturizer,and a couple cute outfits and you'll make it thru....God know it could be worse...LOL
2007-06-20 11:06:21 · answer #6 · answered by southernpal4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That fits the definition of mid life crisis.
Whether your life is rich and fulfilling or not is relative and somewhat depends on that person's standard. If you don't think so, then it is not. The way you described yourself, you had no signficant accomplishments under your own name -- always somebody there to help you.
Not everybody can be Mother Teresa. Often times, women in the process of their emotional wreck and crises, destroy what they have for no real significant gains or differences. You can always volunteer in local communities. But look at what your capabilities before you bite more than you can handle.
2007-06-20 11:10:06 · answer #7 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy life while you still have the ability to do so. You are lucky enough to be able to work with someone you love, plus have a family that loves you too. Time does fly so take the time to slow down and enjoy your life.
One day you're going to be old and broken in a nursing home and have regrets that you didn't do something. So do those wonderful things now... Just don't get your belly button pierced like my future mother-in-law. : v )
2007-06-20 11:03:19 · answer #8 · answered by theewokprincess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha...relax.
I'm 43, and still wondering what I want to be when I grow up. Age is just lines on your face...
and then again, it's everything.
If there's one thing that you've always wanted to do but have been a little timid about...painting, writing...you get the idea...start doing it in secret. Nobody needs to know that you have higher aspirations.
It's not a mid-life crisis unless you want to divorce your husband, find a wild boyfriend, and buy a convertible and drive the autostrade as fast as you can.
Life doesn't end until it's over...! People start new things when they are 80...and why not?!
2007-06-20 11:01:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
THIS IS COMMON. YOU ARE BORED WITH YOUR LIFE, and you first need to APPLAUD your accomplishments. Then, knowing that you have not failed at anything really, ~sounds like a common good life person to me~you just need to satisfy your urge to do more with your life. FIND A NICHE THAT YOU CAN EXCEL WITH. Teach a course on house flipping. Child rearing. Get involved in Community Activities/Organization~~you truly could make a difference there locally~~DON'T JUST WINE...GET TO THINKING AND DOING! GOOD LUCK
2007-06-20 11:10:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋