What I was told....do people still feel this way, even now in 2007? lol?

Question

I was out with my grandmother and we started talking about the fact that my cooking skills aren't too hot. Basically I can cook spaghetti and Hamburger Helper, and that's about the extent of the things I can make...that actually taste good. lol Anyway, my grandmother is 76 and VERY old school...so she tells me that I will never get a husband if I cannot cook. I told her that of course I will, this is 07, and men can cook as well these days. Then she asks me "well if he can cook, then what would he need you for?" WOW I don't know why I was surprised because as I said, my Grandma is old fashioned. However I have talked to several men, and the majority of them did say that since they can't cook, then they'd prefer a woman that can. So what does that mean? Is there no hope for me? lol I mean I do experiment...it's just that I have a hard time getting the food to taste like it's supposed to. Am I destined to be single???!!!

Also, in your marriage, does one person do the cooking, or do you both do it?

Answer 1

You can learn to cook as you go. I have been married 5 years..i could cook before but i can cook even better and different things now. And i do almost all of the cooking but he can cook...he showed me that when i was pregnant!

Answer 2

Well, When I first got married that was about all I could cook too! Out of boxes, cans etc. Anything cheap. Typically when a man cooks, there is about 2 maybe 3 dishes he can make, and he will perfect it. I have found that when I purchased an actual cook book, he uses it more than I, but that is mainly because of our schedules. We both cook, but it isn't like we sit down and eat at 5pm every night. Grandma probably ment, that old saying Filling a mans stomach is the way to his heart. In the olden days, men worked even harder than ever, so they expected to be fed when they walked through the door. Now days life is too fast paced, and it is easier than ever to bring food with you when you leave home due to plastic containers and refrigeration. Men like to eat, and if all you can cook is Hamburger helper, then just let the prospect know. Chances are you two will learn to cook together, or he will buy a cookbook. Get some of Granny's old school recipies. Anyone can learn to cook. Good luck and don't worry about it.

Answer 3

There's more to marriage than cooking, that's for sure. Yes, a lot of guys still like "domestic" women; but it really depends on the guy. I have a friend who does all the cooking; she is a great cook, and her husband appreciates it very much. Another good friend of mine is a good cook, but her husband loves cooking too, so they share the duties; he makes to-die-for pesto! Yet another couple I know never eat at home; she cannot cook to save her life, their fridge is always empty - but they've been married for 7 years, and are going strong. I think, any potential "mate" will be looking at the total package, not checking off traits from a list. In our household, I do most of the cooking; my husband only makes mac and cheese or hamburger helper. I really don't mind; my husband does most of the working and most of the money earning - so it works out. For the longest time, I didn't know how to cook. My mom always cooked for us, and then when I moved out on my own I would survive on hot dogs and noodle roni. But when I got married, I was thrown into the whole "domestic" routine - and quickly learned my way around the kitchen. Now I actually enjoy cooking, it is hardly a chore. Don't sweat it, you'll find a man who appreciates you for who you are, and if you learn to cook it will be a bonus. I've never liked cleaning, and my mom would always say that I might not find a husband if I don't shape up; but I'm married now, and we just have to pay a maid to come in a couple of times a month. There's always a solution.

Answer 4

Learn to cook - it's a survival skill. Of course your grandmother is right. She's exaggerating a bit when she says you'll NEVER find a man without cooking skill. What she could have said is that without cooking skill, you will have to find a certain kind of man - a man who doesn't want you anywhere near the kitchen would be the best choice. He has to love cooking.
What's so funny about thinking that you need to know how to provide something for yourself and others that you need 3 times a day, every day of your life? LOL that's what is really funny.
If you plan to eat out a lot, plan to earn a lot. Add that to the description of that certain kind of man. He has to earn big bucks so the two of you can eat the majority of your meals in a restaurant.
LOL. Get used to eating at McDonald's because that will be your diet, then. LOL.
Your grandmother's not old school. She knows what it is like to raise children, for example - whence she got that term 'grandmother.'
I recall a woman bragging to me that her daughter didn't need the cookbook she was buying for her. It was obvious she thought her daughter was a little princess who had married a prince who would never let her lift a finger around the house.
Good luck. I said to the woman, 'I suppose she plans to have children someday.' The woman got a serious look on her face and said,'God willing.' I said, 'Then she's going to have to have food ready for growing children more than just three times a day, for snacks and parties and entertaining... I don't know any kid who doesn't come home from school and ask what there is to eat.' Of course I made my point - which was that even little princesses need to soil their dainty hands if they expect to raise children. I think I should add that I was not having this conversation with British royalty, just someone who thought money was going to make cooking unnecessary. LOL. LOL. LOL.

Answer 5

Well...you didn't say what your age is.
I, for one, have been married, single, and remarried, and have done all the cooking in one relationship, and almost none in another. Inbetween I ate salads and had a skinny body, something men like, shallow beings that they are. :P
But! Good food should be the norm. Hamburger helper is NOT cooking, lol That's what I fed my first husband when I already knew what direction we were headed in.
My point is simple. Cook good food for the sake of eating good food. It's a quality of life issue, single or not!
Inexperienced cooks think that good food is more expensive. It's not. People who eat fast food everyday spend more on food than those who take leftovers to work, and those fast food eaters weigh a lot more and their cholesterol is off the charts.
I think that sharing the cooking is becoming more the norm.
Inexperienced cooks also think that cooking is HARD. It's not...watch a few programs on tv...granted it's an art...but a lot of it is simple trial and error.
There's no reason for a person not to eat well in the abundant grocery stores we have in the U.S.
Experiment! You'll learn to be proud and like it. Take a trip to southern France or Italy. You'll never want to eat hamburger helper ever again!

Answer 6

No, you are not destined to be single. But it might depend on whether the guy you get interested in had a father who cooked some, as a role model for man cooking. It also helps if you get a guy who lived on his own, so he is already used to doing some cooking for himself. My son and his wife are 23. It is sort of a joke at their house that she really doesn't cook, she just never really had the opportunity or the time, although she hopes to do some as time goes on. But my son loves her and married her anyway. He even has a few specialties of his own that he cooks. My other son is 20, and he has been cooking since he was about 17, even though he was living at home at the time. My husband and I share in the cooking and the grocery shopping. No set pattern to it. Sometimes one of us just does it for chunks of time, and sometimes we are more evenly split over the course of a week. There are certain types or styles of food that he likes to prepare, and there are other things that I prepare. You'll be OK, but you might want to add just a couple more recipes to your repertoire. Good Luck.

Answer 7

My background: male, married 28 years next Saturday. And of all the many things I feel that I need my wife for, cooking would be the one I'd give up most gladly. :-)

Part of that is that I started learning to cook when I was 14. I've always loved cooking, not only getting food to taste like it's supposed to, but then going the next step and imagining what it would taste like if I combined ingredients in new ways. And it's very rewarding, for me, to cook a good meal because it's such a combination of creativity, technique, time-management and (for lack of a better word) "performance art" to get everything done and served at the right time. I mean... I cooked my own Father's Day meal because I wanted it to come out exactly a certain way. And it did, and everyone loved it. (Roast pork loin with caramelized cipolline onions and garlic cloves braised in white wine and balsamic vinegar, plus porcini mushroom risotto, with baby artichokes on the side.)

Now, having said that, I'm almost certainly not a potential husband to you for many reasons -- I'm already married and, well, I probably have daughters about your age. (Of course, if you don't mind older men... ahem. :-) But cooking ability wouldn't even make my list of Important Qualities if I suddenly found myself in search of a potential mate. (What would they be, you ask? Let's see... Humor... intelligence... patience... some sort of artistic ability... and various sexual details.)

And at the same time I highly recommend that you learn to cook, not so much in order to Catch A Husband, but because it's a very rewarding skill to have. A couple of times in our married life I've been on my own for a few weeks at a time, usually in the the process of making a move where either I was the first to move to a new city or the last to leave the old one, and in all those cases I found that simply being able to make what I wanted, the WAY I wanted it, was a great comfort to me.

So take some cooking classes, watch the Food Network, and try some new things. If you can already make spaghetti, try some other Italian dishes -- fettucine Alfredo is supremely easy if you do it the traditional way, as I was served it at the NYC Alfredo's (never made it to the one in Rome!):

Fettucine Alfredo (in the style of Alfredo's)

1 pound fettucine (fresh preferred, dried acceptable)
1/2 stick (2 oz, 60g) unsalted butter, brought to room temperature
2 to 3 tablespoons (30ml) cream
Dash fresh nutmeg
Dash salt
Grated Italian cheese (parmigiano, romano, etc.) to taste

Heat a serving dish in a 200 degree F/90 degree C oven for 10-15 minutes. (Alternatively: I put the bowl on top of the bot I'm using to boil water; the point is to get the dish warm enough to keep the butter melted.)

Boil water for pasta. While water boils, whip the butter with a fork until soft and fluffy. Cook pasta as indicated, then drain into the heated bowl.

Place the whipped butter onto the pasta and stir to melt the butter. Add cream just to coat the noodles, then add salt and nutmeg. Top with grated cheese, serve immediately.

Serves two (you and your grandmother, perhaps? :-)

Answer 8

I can't cook at all - I am horrible. My hubby barely cooks. We just make do the best we can.

I think that if a man can't look past the fact that you don't have kitchen savvy, then he's probably not worth it anyway. There is a big difference between preferring your spouse be able to cook and requiring it.

Look on the bright side - if neither of you is very good, you can take lessons together. :)

And by the way, my parents are from an older generation, and they both share the cooking duties fully.

Answer 9

We both cook although my husband prefers to do it because I am not that good at it, I know the feeling about Hamburger Helper......lol. There are a lot of men out there that like to cook as well.

Answer 10

I couldn't cook when I first got married years ago but it wasn't long before I figured out how to use cook books. I practiced on everyone until I got good enough that people couldn't wait to be invited to dinner at my house. I taught my husband how to make breakfast on the weekends. He now has added "complicated" recipes like puff pancakes and belgian waffles to his accomplishments. We have fun with it. Honestly if someone doesn't cook, it means you'll be eating out or eating more fattening choices. Learning to cook means healthier choices and definitely will be less costly. So instead of stressing over what you think is an old idea....think more about strolling through the cookbook sections at Barnes and Noble. Pick up some basic starter books and go for it.

Answer 11

okay, cooking skills are esential not only for marriage, but if you're gonna be single, then you really need to learn how to cook...no one wants to eat out all the time. My husband and I both cook, so that's not a major problem, but for the most part I do the cooking. Don't worry, with time and experimentation, you'll get the hang of it. I hate to cook, but some times it's fun and it gets your mind off other problems as well. Good luck!