How can I stop feeling guilty?

Question

I always feel guilty and dirty when I masturbate, as though I'm doing something wrong. How can I stop feeling this way? I'm 25, female.

Answer 1

This is probably a matter of conditioning, which you are re enforcing.

You need what I shall call the justification factor. That is you need to know why it is good. The fact you enjoy it is no justification. It's a guilty pleasure, like stealing sweets. Only worse because it happens down there. You have to be aware of and accept a positive benefit.

There has to be the desire factor against the can't help myself factor. Anybodily function, whether eating, drinking, defecating or urinating releases strong urges. Much of our lives is spent managing and catering for those urges. We are taught to feel guilty if we have no control, and we are also taught that indulgence is wrong.

There is the transfer guilt factor. The guilt might actually lie elsewhere. If people can take comfort food because of an emotional problem, I don't see it too far removed to suggest that a suppressed problem may manifest itself in masturbation, and the accompnying feeling of guilt may be because of an unresloved or unrealised matter.

There is the suggestion that it is a religious hang up. But religion doesn't just say it is wrong. Breaking the Sabbath was a stoning offence, private sex is basically kept private, but generally for uncleanness there were cleaning rituals. Why not utilise a cleanness and forgiveness ritual.

Urine is sterile, but I bet you wash your hands afterwards. However, you can't engage in sex in a perfunctory manner, there is a whole packet of emotions associated with it, and these, unfortunately, can't simply be ignored., so they have to be accommodated.

Answer 2

It's normal to feel guilty when you love someone. My question would be how guilty did she feel for the 11 months that she was with someone else behind your back. I give people props for being able to take someone back after an affair because I couldn't. If they were late from work or took too long at the store, I would wonder if they were with someone when they shouldn't have been. If there was a problem in your relationship, she should have come and talked to you about it, not cheat on you.

Answer 3

By realizing that

1. Everyone does it.
2. Men don't feel guilty either.
3. Feeling guilty about masturbation is a cultural/religious stupidity.

Answer 4

Lighten up! There is absolutely NO reason why you should feel guilty about masturbation - not if you're single, not if you're in a committed relationship, etc.

Anyone who says they don't masturbate (well, unless they're in their 90s) is a liar. It's one of life's great pleasures. Sorry to put it that way, but its a fact.

Answer 5

Jen - that's just your old CHILDHOOD programming coming up. Maybe there's some old RELIGIOUS stuff mixed in there.

There are three things you can do to release the guilty feelings. First, the reason you feel guilty is because some part of you thinks what you're doing is wrong and you will be punished. Just realize it's not wrong.

Second, one reason feelings persist is because we only allow ourselves to feel them on the surface then push them away. EMOTIONS (like guilt) are electrical energy in our bodies. They are meant to be FULLY FELT and RELEASED. Instead of pushing the feeling away, let yourself really FEEL the guilt. Sit quietly (where you won't be disturbed) and let the feeling of guilt come up. If you really feel the feeling it will begin to dissolve (like a soap bubble). Once dissolved it will not come back.

If you have trouble feeling your feelings and releasing them, please try using EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or Emotional Tapping. In EFT you apply gentle acupressure tapping to specific body points to release blocked emotions. EFT is easy to learn (you can learn the basics in 15-30 minutes). You can use EFT anytime, anywhere for any emotional or physical issue. One basic round of EFT takes about one minute to complete. It works quickly and is painless.

Please download the FREE EFT Instructional manual from the EFT website (www.emofree.com). Also, watch the FREE EFT introductory video.

One final thing you can use is AFFIRMATIONS. Using affirmations will help to release the emotion of guilt. Say to yourself "It is okay for me to masturbate." and then pay attention to the thoughts and feelings that come up. That is your past programming. That is what you need to release on, too.

Answer 6

dirty?thats what makes it so hot. LOL. why do you feel guilty? do you do it after church? just kidding.
theres nothing wrong with it. an orgasm is a wonderful stressreliever. masterbating is better than using somebody...well, guys really like to be used for that sometimes.
youre not going to hell for masterbating.

Answer 7

Oh, this is easy. You need to transfer the guilt.

Give me a call and I'll come round and do it for you. How can you feel guilty about something you didn't do?

Works for me, anyway.

Answer 8

try to figure out why you are feeling guilty in the first place. is it b/c you think you should let your partner help you? do you think of it as sin? lose your inhibitions then you can enjoy.

Answer 9

You're not hurting anybody, so why feel guilty.

Answer 10

Dont feel bad because thats just awesome