My 13 year old's good friend and classmate since kindergarten committed suicide 2 days ago.My son is so devastated he hardly talks,and at times just weeps and weeps.I hug him and tell him that I am here whenever he needs to talk.I am at a loss what to do.He just played baseball with this 14 year old friend the day before he hung himself,and he seemed fine,according to my son.That night,the boy's girlfriend broke up with him...and in the wee hours of the following morning,he decided life was not worth living.Please help me--I am at a loss as to how to help my son.Thank you.
2007-06-20 10:09:50 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Oh my...I'm so sorry.
Death is part of life and there comes a time when everyone has to deal with someone they love passing on. It's hard to wake up and realize that that person that you just talked to yesterday isn't gonna be there anymore.
All you can do is be there for him as much as possible and comfort him.
Things probably won't ever be the same as they were, but they will get better, I promise.
I'll pray for your son.
2007-06-20 10:14:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think this is the hardest question I have ever seen here. You sound like a wonderful mother and this in itself must help your son. I can't answer your question, I wish I could - I just feel so sorry for everyone involved, you, your son, the child's parents, the girlfriend who probably had no idea this would happen ...
A friend of my son's committed suicide over the same thing - his girlfriend finished with him - but they must have been 19 or so when it happened - my son was wracked with guilt and 'if onlys' - we kept telling our son it was Not His Fault but I don't know if it really helped. Like everyone else who has replied, our thoughts are with you all.
2007-06-20 10:35:03 · answer #2 · answered by Sue C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like Luke is a good new child who made an exceptionally undesirable, impulsive selection. It would not look like he meant to kill his brother, he acted on frustration and anger. besides the charges Luke is dealing with, he and his mom and dad are coping with poor grief and probable guilt. they could be there for another, help one yet another, stand up to blaming one yet another, console one yet another. All you're able to do is be there for them. pay attention, help them out at domicile, run errands for them, do however you could to make their lives in simple terms a splash much less stressful. Bless you all.
2016-10-08 21:57:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sons best friend was killed in a car crash so I understand his grief and your concern. He has to grieve so one of the best ways to express that grief is to cry. I know its hard to see him crying but it is allowing him to let that grief out. Just continue with the hugs and reassurances that you are there if he needs to talk. Its extremely hard I know. My heart goes out to you and all I can say is, it will get easier for him given time,
2007-06-20 11:37:35 · answer #4 · answered by Jo Jo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be there for him, but dont think that just listening or huging him will do. Please get him professional help. This is a tragic experience and Im sorry that your son had to go through being so young.
2007-06-20 10:48:24 · answer #5 · answered by bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi!
This must be really tough for both of you. Your instinct that your son needs to talk is spot on. He may feel some sense of personal responsibility (no matter how illogical it may seem to others); that there was something he could have done to prevent his friends tragic response to disappointment in love. You know no-one could have foreseen this.
The lads parents, the poor girl and no doubt others will, like your son, all be feeling a cocktail of emotions they do not deserve. Perhaps one way to ventilate some of this negative energy for all of them is to bring them together - and that's what funerals are for. It may be that after the funeral "journey" some of the grief can be released to a more positive level.
Schools are often good at helping the grieving process when a student /pupil dies, especially in such sad circumstances. Is there someone offering counselling for fellow pupils?
Who will take the funeral? That person may be another helpful resource or able to signpost people to the support they may need.
You are there for your son. To really help him through this there is one thing for sure you need to do: make sure there's someone there for you too.
May you all find the path through this that you deserve and need.
Good wishes.
2007-06-20 10:28:39 · answer #6 · answered by pilgrimspadre 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just keep walking by babe n holding out your arms when hes ready for a hug he'll accept it,but the constant checking yet giving him his space will have him feeling somewhat secure.its gonna need time for all of you,your the mum unfortunately you have to be the strong one but you can keep turning to us for your reasurance so make sure you do!what a terrible time for you both xxx
2007-06-20 10:21:02 · answer #7 · answered by nendlin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is very early days yet and the shock and pain are still very raw for your son i think you have dealt with it perfectly so far what a lovely mum you are it may be neccessary for him to recieve some counselling and im sure your gp will help, in time im sure the pain will ease and maybe talking and remembering the good times will help good luck x
2007-06-20 10:25:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear God. That is aweful. I am so sorry for your son and everyone close to the situation. I would just let him know that you are there for him, even if he just needs to cry and let him get all of that out. He will be sad, angry and happy at times remembering everything he shared with his friend. Something you might want to suggest to him, if he would be comfortable doing this, is that he might want to help out the family of the boy as time passes. They will be grieving and coming together in this time may be a good therapy of sorts for everyone. He could go and mow their lawn, or help with yard work. Anything that will let him show how much he cared. He will feel god for helping and the family will I am sure appreciate the help plus being together when you are all suffering from the same loss is healing. Good luck to you all and what a wonderful mother I am sure you are. Helping your son and not trying to ignore the issue or tell him to get over it. God Bless you and your family.
2007-06-20 10:17:49 · answer #9 · answered by Noodle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there are mental health counselors in every town run by the state.they charge on a sliding scale. check into this for him
2007-06-20 10:22:52 · answer #10 · answered by cheri h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably will need councelling, he is of a young age and probably cant deal with it as its such a big shock to him. Try to talk to your doctors and see what they say. They may reccommend for him to see someone to talk to. Its not a shameful thing to do. Good luck x
2007-06-20 10:15:52 · answer #11 · answered by Lorraine A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋