is this weird in your opinion?

Question

1) a new person starts coming to ur activity group weekly
2) he is socially awkward/shy, the group senses he is uncomfortable
3) when he makes conversation, it can be awkward borderline disturbing
4) he lies about things such as his age, etc
5) he disturbs a girl in the group by bringing up topics such as Physically Abusing a Woman being "ok", and saying he knows "girls say one thing, but mean another"
6) he tries to apologize to that person by FOLLOWING them around, even though other people advised him to leave her alone for awhile... and STILL followed her (she avoided him and left)

7) CHANGES his personality, all of a sudden he is talkative and more "outgoing" to the group..

aren't those Strange signs? do you think he is just messing around and wants to apologize, or that he is really WEIRD borderline Scary for changing his personality like this?

the girl is So Scared of him (he has also mentioned guns to another person), that she cannot even talk to him w/o bursting into tears....

yes there is a leader.. he thinks the guy needs help, but is not a danger "yet". but to the Girl, she is really really scared. and her boyfriend and other friends there didn't think it was a big deal, so shes hyperventilated cuz she needed some support. whether or not he is Dangerous, the girl still needs a lot of help from this. others are telling her that "he wants to apologize, let him", but she is SCARED

Answer 1

This line here -> ...Physically Abusing a Woman being "ok", and saying he knows "girls say one thing, but mean another"

negates everything else in that topic.

This person should be eliminated from your group. It's a possible predator or at the very least a sociopath in the making. He may not even know it yet. Normal people know this view is wrong. He's either presenting it to get a reaction and gauge the strength of the group or he's presenting it b/c he has no basis of social right and wrong.

Anyway you look at it, this guy is going to be a problem. I would fix it now instead of waiting for 'other weird things' or a possible assualt.

Answer 2

Yes, I agree, these behaviors sound strange and are probably alarming for those witnessing them and have them inflicted upon them.

My gut inclination would be towards either bipolar disorder or asperberger's syndrome. According to the NIH (National Institute on Health)

"People with BPD often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. While they can develop intense but stormy attachments, their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike). Thus, they may form an immediate attachment and idealize the other person, but when a slight separation or conflict occurs, they switch unexpectedly to the other extreme and angrily accuse the other person of not caring for them at all. " Which would explain the shyness, the overbearingness and if they have not had positive social experiences as a result the strange social interactions.

The only reason I would consider Aspberger's is the lack of social skills. There are other parameters that need to be met to be considered and recieve accomodations. According to the DSM IV-R they would be:
"The essential features of Asperger's Disorder are:
Criterion A. Severe and sustained impairment in social interaction
Criterion B. The development of restricted, repetitive patterns of
behaviour, interests, and activities
Criterion C. The disturbance must cause clinically significant impairment
in social, occupational, or other important areas of
functioning.
Criterion D. In contrast to Autistic Disorder, there are no clinically
significant delays in language (eg: single words are used
by age 2 years, communicative phrases are used by age 3
years).
Criterion E. There are no clinically significant delays in cognitive
development or in the development of age-appropriate
self-help skills, adaptive behaviour (other than in social
interaction), and curiosity about the environment in
childhood.
Criterion F. The diagnosis is not given if the criteria are met
for any other specific Pervasive Developmental Disorder or
for Schizophrenia.

If you should ever feel unsafe its paramount that you obtain help. I'm guessing because its a weekly activity there is someone in charge who could perhaps keep tabs on the situation and contact the appropriate authorities.

Answer 3

It's possible that this guy is just socially paralyzed and says and does things trying to fit in that only makes things worse. I would get the leader, the guy and the girl to have a talk together and get things out in the open. The leader certainly won't let him come back if he feels th guy is a danger to anyone. Just keep an eye on him and see hoe things go. As long as you are in a group, she will be alright.

Answer 4

He is a predatory psychopath. he has not yet developed his techniques but he is on the way towards becoming a career stalker. One thing that drives these people away is if strong males continually intervene and stay close to the women. In addition, demand a sincere apology when he crosses the line. Do not let him shadow women or let any women walk home alone. This guy is a bad day waiting to happen.

Answer 5

maybe this person just needed some time to feel comfortable with your group and things he says may come out wrong,

After receiving an Email from you I came back to your Question and read it again (including the additional details), so I'm changing my answer. Although some people do come across as weird when they have a social problem (when their not), but I think this man may need some help before he hurts or kills someone. so Yes I think this is weird

Answer 6

This sounds like a personality disorder and he may very well need medication. He doesn't seem like he is a danger yet but he's also not functioning correctly. I think he may need to be hospitalized. He seems pretty far gone, and I doubt it will do anything but get worse without professional help. These sort of things start out only slightly abnormal and get stranger from there.

Answer 7

Yes, those are some strange signs. He must be disturbed in some way..I think someone should take him into a psychologist or some mental place. I wouldn't be too comfortable around him, nor would I trust him. I can see something bad possibly coming.

Answer 8

I don't think you need to figure that out. I'd just tell him he needs to go elsewhere because he is disruptive to the group.... If not this then I would talk to him about how to behave and then start each group with some ground rules so everyone feels safe..

Answer 9

You know he could be socially immature...but honestly...this day and age, I would think that those are some strange behaviors. Even if he was sincere about his apology.......he should not have followed that girl around.
Lying, abuse acceptance and "stalking" apologies......yeah I think this is a little weird.

Answer 10

I would be very weary of the fact he is not a stalker. Many stalkers attend meetings or groups in which they don't belong. For example, many will attend AA meetings even though they aren't alcoholics. They are there to prey on the weak or those predisposed to addictions.