he makes me feel so bad about myself and that I've caused all the problems.I feel really bad.
2007-06-20 08:00:03 · 27 answers · asked by crushed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stop talking to him, stop seeing him. Once a cheat always a cheat. You need to have someone that is emotionally available as well as capable of a healthy relationship. You will never find a relationship with someone that is ok with lying, cheating and breaking his marriage vows. If you were the wife you would not be happy. There are too many factors that all point to this will not end well. Especially considering that he makes you feel bad. Don't be his whipping post. You deserve better.
You made a mistake, but now it is time to move on. You do not want to be involved with a guy as his marriage falls apart. As a man I take pride in the fact that I would never do such a thing. You need to reevaluate the entire situation and realize that it is not safe and will only emotionally hurt you in the end. Believe in yourself and your own ability to find love in the right way and in the right place. You have to believe that you deserve better. Never ever allow yourself to be used in this way again. You have a chance to make it right. I would take advantage of that right away.
#1 Be strong and cut off communication
#2 Once some time passes things will seem more clear
#3 Evaluate yourself and ask yourself what kind of relationship do you want?
#4 Make a point to only get close to single men ONLY!
#5 Learn from this mistake and don't repeat it
You can do it!
Focus on what you want to accomplish in the future. No matter the circumstances anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself does not truly over you and is basically emotionally abusive. Don't take that from anyone. Love yourself first!
He has caused the problems by cheating.
There is no excuse for it. If his feelings for you were so strong he would not be with his wife. Believe me when I say most guys will do whatever it takes to make a sexual conquest. I was never the type. I saw many friends that had no self respect and that would lie and cheat and do whatever it took. Don't allow yourself to be used and played. You must value yourself first and foremost. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you deserve better. If this was a friend going thru this
What advice would you give her?
Would not say to her STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING!
You should. You are being self destructive and you will only hurt yourself and the wife in the process. She does not deserve that. I always believed do not do to others that you do not want done to you. I personally believe that bad actions and intentions will come back to you 3 fold. Don't make yourself miserable with this situation. He is screwing with your heart and your mind. He is obviously emotionally cut off from what he is doing to you and to his wife. Who in the hell wants a guy like that?
Forget him and move on!
2007-06-20 08:05:08 · answer #1 · answered by Mario L 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is no way in you know where that you caused all the problems! He has the problem otherwise he wouldn't have been sneaking around on his wife! May I suggest that you talk to a good girlfriend or a good minister. Preferably someone that is older that doesn't have any ulterior motives that you can trust. I don't know what happened between the two of you, but I do know that deep down inside you knew that this would probably not work nor was it right! Agree?
Let me tell you something about yourself, you need to feel loved.....and there is nothing wrong with that! There is some guy out there somewhere that you may know or you may not know him at all.....but whoever this guy is....he has the same needs and feelings about you! He wonders will he ever find you, he wonders where you are and what will it take to finally meet you. The good thing about that is that you are feeling the same way about him! So find that man....that single man that doesn't have the marriage tag attached! You never stop loving a person completely....you will have men that you have met before that you still have feelings for and some of those feelings will never go away. But sometimes you have to love a man enough to leave him alone! That's showing love on your part....to walk away from him and this bad situation. No more phone calls to him, no emails, no going by his house just leave the married man alone!
Feeling bad about what happened is a start....now do what ever it takes within reason to start feeling good about yourself again! Go out with your friends....and not just to a club....do that inspirational thing that you always wanted to do to start feeling good again! You will look back on this situation one day and ask yourself ' What on earth did I ever see in him?' Peace!
2007-06-20 08:22:09 · answer #2 · answered by cal1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find one that isn't married? Believe it or not I am not kidding. If you distract yourself from thinking about him by keeping busy (either with or without another man) then you end up spending your time thinking about the present and the future and not the past. It is people who are not doing anything to stay busy that end up obsessing about the past.
As to your comment about feeling bad for all of the problems you caused... You didn't do it all by yourself and you had a willing accomplice in your married friend. He more than likely deserves a share of the blame.
We live and we learn every day. The trick is to apply what we learn so we don't make the same mistakes in the future.
2007-06-20 08:06:10 · answer #3 · answered by Someone somewhere doing something 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not feel bad about yourself. That whats cheating married does. If anything he is the cause of problems. If you have a man especially a married man making you feel bad about yourself he is no good. The thing maybe that he feel bad about himself. God will never give a woman another woman husband. We hold on to things God is trying to pull us away from. Trust me Sweetie you dont need a man like him,God has something planned much better for you
2007-06-20 08:07:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, not to be mean but, you need to examine why you are dating a married man to begin with. Okay so you think you "love" him and he said he would leave his wife for you? Well to be honest, ask yourself this would you really feel trusting in that relationship knowing how you 2 met? It is a bad relationship anyway you look at it and you need to get out of it for yourself. Do not worry about him, he made his bed now he can lie in it. Worry about yourself and why you would choose to date a married man. Figure that out then you can go on to have a great relationship with someone who is single. I suggest seeing a counselor personally to help you through the finding you part and also for the breakup part. Good luck
2007-06-20 08:06:56 · answer #5 · answered by caligal68 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you shouldn't have ever got mixed up with a married man as he will never leave is wife.
Married men tend to stray because they want something better than what have. So they get involved with a female, until either the wife finds out or they get tired of you and want someone else.
"Never feel bad about yourself", it takes two to tango. And you don't say what type of problems you caused him, so I am just guessing. Just move on with your life and look ahead. If you let it get to you, it will eat at you. Never get involved with a married man in the first place. There are so many males in this world, you can have your pick of any of them with out attachments. Move on with your life.
2007-06-20 09:57:33 · answer #6 · answered by joedward6788 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you get over a married man?
Unless you're his wife - QUICKLY.
He can try to assign the blame. Say it was 'all you' or whatever else is going to make him feel better. You EACH made a choice to be involved with one another. You are BOTH to blame for what transpired.
If you are truly sorry for what you did, then forgive yourself - if you're a believer, ask God for forgiveness - and move on.
Right now you're caught up in emotion... and the 'habit' of being with this guy. Habits are tough to break - but you can do it!
2007-06-20 08:07:17 · answer #7 · answered by amazing_creation 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Deary, he turned your head on and made use of your credulity and your emotions, and now he blames you for it, believe me it's the usual way men act after sleeping around. If HE wants to commit adultery it's HIS OWN fault, not yours and he knows this very well!! But he wants to get rid of his feelings of guilt towards his wife and so he puts the blame on you.
What a mean rotter, don't you think so? Forget him as soon as you can, even if you have thought you loved him deeply,
try to see him for what he really is!!
When you realize what in fact he is(a mean rotter), your love will disappear in no time. Stop feeling bad and make a new start.
2007-06-20 08:38:01 · answer #8 · answered by Hanya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, i need more info. you were with a married man and what problems came up, the wife found out? you still care for him but he's saying no more? is that about right? when he tries to make you feel bad remind him that he was the one married and cheating, not you. remind him that it takes two people to have an affair and that you did not force him to do anything he didn't want to do. then see what he says. have you talked with his wife? that could get messy!
2007-06-20 08:05:29 · answer #9 · answered by TGfan 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never get involved with a married man ..But if it's to late and you have already.You should to go talk to his wife so he can feel as bad as you I'm sure his wife will see that he is miserable !!!Good luck and think twice before getting involved with a married man!
2007-06-20 08:28:07 · answer #10 · answered by rhonda h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋