What is happening?

Question

I have social anxiety disorder, I'm trying to find a job or go to school for something but it's like I make up an excuse for everything as to why I don't want to do it. I don't know if I really feel that way about the job like "it's going to be boring" or if it's just my fear of talking to people preventing me from doing things. I've seen two psychologists and neither of them helped. I mean my low self-esteem is getting better but I still don't like talking to people for fear of negative evaluation and looking like an idiot.

Answer 1

Instead of psyching yourself up, you psyched yourself out. We all have felt lonely and the only ones against the world, at one time or another, but we just have to dive in. You need to get into a social group that has the same experiences that you are experiencing. Drugs only mask what the symptoms are and dumb you down. You should browse through a college brochure and pick out 3 areas of interest. Pick one class and put everything you've got into it. Once you pass that class, continue on with another. It will build up your self esteem and you can make friends along the way. My parents died last year and I really went into a dark place. It was not healthy for my family, so I went back to school. I have done well and made some friends and I am no longer in that dark place. It was a rough start, but I made it through and I am better for it. I have never been one to go out and make friends. I usually had to trip over my own feet and untie my tongue, literally, to talk to someone. I have been told I am quick witted and funny. That helped alot. Just find something and get on it.

Answer 2

I have this problem too. Many of my jobs have been to greet people and would require me to carry on short conversations with people....It's tramatic for me. I absolutely cannot give speeches, conduct meetings, or orientations or even make simple outgoing phone calls so I felt it would be hard to find a job where I wouldn't have to do any of those things. It would be dumb for me to interview, but then say if this job requires any of those things I will not be able to accept a position. I can structure my sentences in my head, but when it actually comes out, I sound like an idiot. I have never seen anyone about this problem because when it came down to actually speaking to the doctor or psychologist I fear that I couldn't explain my issues. I now work in a position where I have to do all of the things I mentioned above. It SUCKS! I'm terrified every time, but I just do it cause I need the paycheck. I have a pretty good sense of humor and am always smiling so I think that's what the interviewers see in me and that's why they hire me. All I can say is just get out there and do your best. I'm sure you have great qualities about you that you just aren't seeing. Just try and hopefully something will come along that you really enjoy doing. Just know that your aren't alone....there are many people that have this problem.

Good luck!

Answer 3

This is a matter of self-perception. Obviously some traumatic event at school (underlying all this fear all these years and something reminds you of it in certain situations) The anxiety of having to acknowledge it gets to you and you react to it. Denial is bliss or so it seems but really it is eating away at you down deep unconsciously.

It is just lying underneath the surface. You need to figure out what it is beneath that wall of denial. Once it is recognized, you will be able to deal with it. It could also be that you have low self-esteem and engage in distracting behaviors that call the wrong kind of attention to yourself. Not a deliberate thing--it is something about how you relate to people. Carry yourself with more confidence.

Answer 4

I would find a counselor who can perhaps specializes in this disorder to teach you ways to up your self esteem. I use to do a lot of pretending. I feel if you act a certain way eventually you will begin feeling that way. I use to get up and get ready for work right before leaving I would look at myself in the mirror and say 20 times I am a good person over and over. I actually began to feel like a good person.

Answer 5

Hey I am in the same boat. I don't even leave my house. I wish I could find people like this in my area so we could get together and talk. I'm sure that would help being your own kind. At least we can e-mail each other or even talk on the phone for support you know what I mean? It sucks man I have been in this pit all my life.

Answer 6

I have the same problem.. and I have also gotten help and netiher helped me.. they put me on meds and that messed me up more..
I would love to know what we can do about this.. I think it is all in our heads and we need to learn to change our way of thinking.. easier done then said.
If you want to talk ever.. mail me sweillib at yahoo....
Id like to hear more about your condition because I dont know anyone else with it but me..

Answer 7

It's as simple as acting 'as if' you are confident.
Before you know it you actually be.