does you significant lover fight with you when somthing in their life is stressing them out, do they push you away and turn into a whole other person??? my b/f of 3 years does this he gets so angry with me when somthing in his life outside the relationships gets hard or stressfull....i cant take it anymore..
2007-06-20 07:13:27 · 14 answers · asked by lovely 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ironically being able to unload on you is a sign that your partner feels comfortable enough with you to let their full personality come out and not just the good stuff. Its apart of opening up and either accept them fully or reject them (like you are doing).
Loving someone is accepting them for how they truly are and not just the good stuff.
2007-06-20 07:41:35 · answer #1 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I can relate to this, my husband is the same way when something in his life is stressing him out he turns into a different person, and he takes it out on me. Sometimes I get scared of the way he gets and try not to say anything to make it worse. I haven't been happy with him for a few years,I'm still deciding whether to leave or stay.
2007-06-20 14:31:01 · answer #2 · answered by 24Special 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he needs his space when he is stressed. Do you try to get him to talk at these times? If you do-DON'T. In my opinion some men just need their space to figure out their own answers. When you see he is moody just leave him alone until he comes to you to talk. Men are problem solvers. When he is done being angry or if he asks why you are leaving him alone you tell him you were giving him the space you thought he needed and that you don't like the way he treats you when he is stressed. Make it known that him treating you badly is not acceptable. Good Luck
2007-06-20 14:31:02 · answer #3 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st-It won't change-my husband of 19 years is the same way. Things will be just great for months and months then BAMM out of nowhere he's another person. We don't actually fight he just goes off about something and Tries to put the blame elsewhere. He gets over it quite fast but the damage is done to me and our daughter. It gets harder and harder to get back to where we where before. I know it isn't us, but that doesn't help much.
I suck it up as always, but it takes weeks for me to let my guard down again because it always happens again. My mom said my dad was the same way. On a high note: my dad hasn't acted that way since he was in his 60's.
I can tell you that it feels like a knife is stabbing me in the chest everytime I think about it. I cry, then realize NO GUY is worth crying over. I choose to deal with it for now, but our relationship isn't the same and it gets harder and harder to let things go. We typically have a great sex life, but boy these outbursts but a huge damper on things.
You might love him, but He won't change-believe me I know!
The good times out way the bad, but the bad times are mentally challenging. It's also very hard for our daughter, so thats not fair to her either.
Get out now before your married and unhappy.
Good luck
2007-06-20 15:05:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't manage to not take out his anger on you (him pushing you away counts) then he isn't a very good boyfriend. My husband and I are young and from day one (when we started dating 5 years ago), that the best ones to help you through the tough times are the ones that love you the most.
Just calmly ask him not to take out his problems on you. You are only there to help and you aren't the source of his problems.
2007-06-20 14:19:40 · answer #5 · answered by Phoenixsong 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for three years and yes this is sooo common! A lot of people do this and unfortunately unless you can get them to talk to you about their stresses then you will have to find some way of dealing with it. My husband gets very stressed and Ive gotten him used to talking to me about things. I even tell him that if he needs to yell and scream for a minute then go ahead. It works pretty great for us but everyone is different.
2007-06-20 14:19:05 · answer #6 · answered by Debi Jean 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am actually guilty of doing that sometimes..I'm not mean on purpose but I just don't feel like being bothered & sometimes I take it out on the one I love the most..my fiance. It happens...if you love him & want it to work, talk to him (when he's not angry) about it & let him know that ur sick of that junk & u want it to stop. If he does great, but if not then tell him you will walk.
2007-06-20 14:19:01 · answer #7 · answered by Jen J. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, happens to me all the time. Seems my wife thinks the best way to make herself feel better to make me feel bad. Seems that I am a psychological and emotional punching bag. And when I point out that she is doing it, she gets even more mad and says she is not beating me up, she is just venting. Apparently the fact that it *feels like she is beating me up is my problem and has nothing to do with her tone, words, or anything else involving her.
2007-06-20 14:20:33 · answer #8 · answered by s1lvermidnight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex husband did for 17 years and that is why he is my ex, leave before it gets worse or you both need to get some counseling if you want it to stop
2007-06-20 14:29:50 · answer #9 · answered by ohmy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If is your name suggests you are lovely leave him....
Anyone who will take their anger and frustration out on you with out talking about it doesn't deserve you......
My ex did this all the time..please note ex now I'm happier
2007-06-20 14:18:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋