I am having trouble getting over it. I want to in the worst way because I love him and KNOW he truly loves me. He wouldn't do half the things his been doing to prove that "home IS where the heart is" if he didn't truly mean it. He got my name tattooed on his finger (he did it for a surprise to me).He got rid of ALL the bad influeneces that led to him being with another woman (no sex and barely even kissed her.... he was asked by her father to make her happy and at the time we were fighting and he figured it was no harm until he put himself in a bad situation and quickly got out of it. It barely lasted 2 months and he only really saw her when she would come see his band play). Anyway, I love him and it seems like EVERY time we argue, even if it has NOTHING to do with him cheating, I bring it up. I could not find someone who fits me more perfectly. Plus we have a 2 yr old together. How do I stop crucifying him and get on with our lives together?
2007-06-20 05:29:52 · 13 answers · asked by PNJ T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Getting over an affair has got to be one of the hardest things to do! But sweetie, if you love him and he loves you, your going to have to forgive. What he did was wrong, and your feelings are normal, but if you want this to work out, it s the only way.
2007-06-20 05:38:04 · answer #1 · answered by Shannon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a wedding photographer, and I have to say this is a bad sign. Not just the fact that he did this, but the fact that you are not willing to let it go. You can't take baggage into a new marriage and I don't think either one of you is ready to tie the knot. Forgiveness is just as crucial in a relationship as trust.
Just because he tattooed your name on his finger (strange place) doesn't mean it can never happen again. Honestly the fact that you keep throwing it in his face will not help either. You are going to cause resentment by bringing it up again over and over. I know you are only doing it because you feel hurt and betrayed, and rightfully so. This is why I am saying that the two of you are not ready for marriage. Maybe you should just have a prolonged engagement until you learn to forgive, because when you get married, there are times where you will be the one to apologize and there will be times when he will, but if neither one of you knows how to forgive then it will be doomed from the minute you walk down the isle.
2007-06-20 12:40:29 · answer #2 · answered by Awesome Writer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you understand that women let their emotions overrun them irrationally, then you can begin to control yourself ---- if that can be done. They have all these abstract stuff (love, happiness etc) that even they can't describe in details or logically and yet they let these things take over their brain and tear up what they have just for the heck of it. It is easier said than done to tell women to get a grip but rarely successful.
You can control this but stand 50+% of repeating this at the peril of your marriage
2007-06-20 12:42:13 · answer #3 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you guys should try some couples counseling before the big day? This way you can get all of your emotion out and move on.
2007-06-20 12:33:07 · answer #4 · answered by Sharon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either your over it or your not. I had to take a week or two to myself in order to get past it. I knew that If i couldn't get past it then our relationship was doomed. You have to make the choice, leave the past in the past and look forward to the future, or keep holding it against him and end your relationship because you couldn't be the bigger person. I know its not easy, but it can be done. I wish you all the luck in the world!
2007-06-20 12:35:51 · answer #5 · answered by atom.lile 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call off the wedding or get counseling. Walking down the aisle isn't going to solve any of your relationship problems.
2007-06-20 12:34:59 · answer #6 · answered by Neka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same situation here. We are in counseling. You had better get there too....at tattoo is easily covered or removed and does not in any way prove future fidelity
2007-06-20 12:57:17 · answer #7 · answered by theartisttwin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shut up about it. You will drive him away. If you can not afford counseling try to read online about why affairs happen and maybe you can understand a bit where hes comming from.
2007-06-20 12:57:18 · answer #8 · answered by GB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly forgive him, you won't continue to throw it up in his face. If you can not truly forgive him, it will remain between you as long as you are together. Ever thought of couples therapy?
2007-06-20 12:49:55 · answer #9 · answered by LGB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't fool yourself. My ex-husband got my name tattooed right above his pubic hair line so that every time he took off his pants he would think of me!!! lol. I think every woman in town could describe this tattoo in detail!!! Quit making excuses for him!!!
2007-06-20 12:43:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋