I don't know why I am chronically late but I hate it. It's a constant battle. Help!?

Answer 1

There was an ABC news segment about this- its actually a chronic problem for millions of people nationwide. It has to do with overestimation of needs and forgoing the reality of time. Alot of people believe time moves significantly slower than it actually does (i.e 10minutes feels like 20minutes). If and when we do wake up early you do additional things in your morning routine rather than what you should be doing/leaving early to arrive on time hence being late once again. Try scheduling, setting clocks back (though eventually that won't work because you'll know you're early and waste time again-), talk to a doctor or pyschologist.

Answer 2

This may "hurt". You don't hate it, as you state. You, on a subconscious level "like" being late. There are a few possible reasons for this.

1. You like the attention of being able to have an entrance to whatever it is you are arriving at.

2. You like the feeling of drama associated with the failure to be "on-time".

3. You do not have enough regard for others to make an effort outside of your self needs to do things on time.

Now, before you flame or run off screaming. You are not evil or abnormal for any of this. Just examine yourself more closely and try to decide what is really going on. The only way to change a behavior is to understand why you are doing it and then make a conscious effort to behave differently. It will take time and you will fail and have to re-start but you can get there. The clock thing rarely works for chronic late people since you will learn to "calculate" that extra time and still be late.

Answer 3

I finally figured out that my own personal lateness was because I had some control issues I needed to deal with. Once I decided to do that, I was able to make a conscious effort to be places 5 minutes early, because I thought a lot about how I wanted other people to view me, as an effective person, or someone who doesn't care. It is hard, but REALLY think about why you like being late. Chances are you have a reason that makes it pay off for you somehow. You can do it!

Answer 4

I like the answer given by a2z. I think for people who are always late, there is a mental dynamic involved, i.e., they tell themselves "Oh, I'm early, I've got plenty of time, I don't have to rush." So there's a fine line where that's true but if you cross the line then that thinking works against you.......Think of it like this: Green light, Yellow light, Red light. Green light means you're thinking you have lots of spare time (okay, but only temporarily true) ..... Yellow light (the shortest) means get your rearend moving now!, there's no time to spare. ... Red light means you didn't act fast enough in Yellow and you'll be late . Then it's just how late (a little late or late or very late or absurdly late) ... So maybe the trick to being on time is to act in Green way before Yellow?? I don't know. Good luck. A lotta times I have that problem too

Answer 5

I do the same thing. I'm notorious for being late and in a rush.
Just remind yourself that NOT being in a rush is hellofalot less stressful.
I think late people always underestimate things like how bad the traffic will be, how long it will take to make the cake, etc. They know the task is easy enough, but they forget that they can't change the amount of time it takes to do the task.

Answer 6

Sounds like an internal struggle, Amy. You might try writing out a dialog between the "part" of you that is chronically late, and the "part" of you that holds you responsible. If you are curious and honest in this dialog, you may find an answer for yourself.

Answer 7

Being late all the time is a passive aggressive behavior. What can you do to stop it? Figure out what it is that makes you dread going to work and deal with the issue. Maybe the job is just not for you. What adds insult to injury is the fact that this tendency will get you fired and will stay on your record. Good luck.

Answer 8

Do everything you can the night before, or prior so that the effort and time to get there is effortless. All you have to do is change your habit for 21 days. Make sure you do what you need to , to be there on time. Leave earlier. It is the same effort if you leave 15min early as 15 mins. late. Just do it, I know it is not impossible.

Answer 9

Me too! Setting the clocks ahead doesn't help because I always know it's not the right time. The only thing that helps is training my brain that I have to be there 15 min earlier than I do. And even then, it only works sometimes. I'm pretty hopeless.

Answer 10

Instead of being angry because of tardiness, try being angry because of a failure to be early. Set a goal to be five to ten minutes early. Turn off all televisions, radios, and computers to remove distractions. These, if anything, always force my lateness.