Just wondering. I am planning on getting a 2 bed room apartment with my boyfriend & 2 year old. We have been together for a year. We talk about marriage & forever but we aren't trying to rush. We do want our own place though, mainly because we both live with our parents and we can't afford a place by ourselves. Besides we both sleep better when we are together.
2007-06-20 05:02:10 · 18 answers · asked by Ang3l-Uh 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't mind not being married. But people are telling me that i should wait. I know that it will happen eventually and we are in no rush... Is that wrong?
2007-06-20 06:42:44 · update #1
Also, he is not my daughter's father. But he has been in her life and has helped raise her since she was 10 months. He loves us both very much. We talk about marriage but we are both just 20. We don't want to rush it. We spend most of the time together and we seem pretty balanced. We rarely argue. & i am not setting a bad example for my child... that is why i am not having a my best friend move in. I don't want random guys coming over with her all the time.
2007-06-20 06:49:45 · update #2
if you're ready do it, the ring will come if this works out
2007-06-20 05:06:04 · answer #1 · answered by deezNutz 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Here's what I think:
If you were WITHOUT child, it would probably be okay to shack up together.
Since you have a child, I would wait until you guys say "I do"...unless the wedding date is soon (like, in a month).
But it seems as if you guys don't have a ring or a date.
Don't set a poor example for your child.
Speaking of your child, NOWHERE did you mention what your boyfriend thinks about your kid.
Is he willing to be a real father figure or is he in the relationship for the sex?
I assume you do care about your child, don't you?
I would also suggest you spend your money on a professional marriage counselor.
Since you say you guys sleep better together, I assume that the sex is great.
But that doesn't last forever and when money issues or other real-world problems come up in a marriage, many couples are NOT prepared to deal with the crisis.
Lastly, who is the father of your child and what does he have to say about this situation?
If he had a lick of concern, I would assume he would not want his child living with some stranger.
2007-06-20 05:15:46 · answer #2 · answered by docscholl 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I just bought a house and moved in with my boyfriend (I call him my fiance but we aren't engaged) 4 months ago. I believe in being married or engaged before even moving in together which we're neither but in a way, it's good to live together without being married because when you move in with someone, you find a lot out about them that you may not of wanted to know. So it does help with knowing if you'll be compatible to live together. So far with my boyfriend and I, we've had ups and downs but wouldn't trade anything for the world that we have. Good luck!
2007-06-20 06:53:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I've been there and the entire time people would say, why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? I thought they were lying until I realized that my relationship will go nowhere if I live with someone before I get a ring. Not to say I wouldn't live with someone I wasn't married to, but a wedding should be in the works.
2007-06-20 05:16:53 · answer #4 · answered by lantagrace 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, read the statistics, shacking up causes a lack of commitment in a serious relationship. Shacking up is basically marriage without any commitment.
If you can't afford a place by yourself then get and education, get married or stay with your parents.
Living with someone before marriage deminishes your chances of having a happy and lasting marriage, research it.
2007-06-20 05:12:26 · answer #5 · answered by ahhgodzirra 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Easier to have the ring first. Me and mine did the shacking up thing first. It was horrible. We both ended up going back home to our parents. It was humiliating for me, and it confused our son a lot. Then I moved out into my own place to get my son used to having his own room again. Not wanting to shack up again, we got married. Haven't even had the same problems we did when we shacked up.
2007-06-20 05:16:43 · answer #6 · answered by cinnatigg 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sounds like you are both very close to each other and know each other very well,dont be rush.as long as you both happy with each other,things will be fine.knowing each other more is one of the recipe of marriage.
Try to plan something for the future too and prepare things little by little so when both think its time to get the ring then be ready to much challenging meaning of married life.
hooray!
2007-06-20 05:12:44 · answer #7 · answered by mystical_queen 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Definitely! Part of marriage is being compatible as "house mates"...which you might NOT be, no matter how much you love each other!
Also, as my friend put it when her daughter wanted to be a virgin when she married, "That's like buying a car without test driving it!". Same with living together. You might drive each other nuts? Only one way to find out.
2007-06-20 05:07:51 · answer #8 · answered by Gwynneth Of Olwen 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
that'll be me a few years from now. it actually depends on you both. if you feel it's what you want to do, then go ahead. only you will know what you want and no one else can tell you what to do.
don't listen to anyone or even consider what others think. because what matters is what the both of you think about the situation.
heck, i'm planning to do just that next year with my bf.
2007-06-20 05:14:43 · answer #9 · answered by Miss M 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It depends on what you want and if your boyfriend will shy away from getting married. It totally depends on each of your wants. If you want to be married...and feel he may get comfortable with the setting that you have made by living with eachother and not being married...then there may be concern. I don't know either of you...and you have not led on to any other detail but remember the saying...Why buy the cow when you are getting the milk for free?
2007-06-20 05:08:36 · answer #10 · answered by Marriedtothearmy 2 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Your chances of actually getting that ring diminishes by about 95% if you move in together. Don't do that to your child. That's very inappropriate.
2007-06-20 05:12:53 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋