Do you think sex is a Big thing in a marriage or relationship? I am married and my husbands sex drive vanished and mine is sky high.. He puts me down when I want to do it.. I cant deal with it... Its not me and I know that for sure.. He is really stressed and I think it is from that,, but to me sex makes my stress go away.. What do I do? He is only 23...
2007-06-20 04:45:30 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Help your husband find out what will lower his stress level - will walking/running do it? Will watching some funny movies help him destress? Bubble bath? Stick to things that are non-sexual. It sounds like he is feeling pressured from you to perform as well and in his defense, is attacking you so that he doesn't feel guilty for not being able to be the man you want him to be right now. Work on the problem first, and the rest will solve itself. For now, leave him be and take care of yourself with your hand or a toy, okay?
2007-06-20 04:49:52 · answer #1 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If his vanished due to yours being previously non-existant, it will be hard to bring it back, but it is possible. Stress from lack of sex is a big thing for a male. When the wife shows no interest over a period of time, it tarnishes the man's self worth.
Have a heart-to-heart with him and see if you two can figure out a happy medium.
Sex is suppose to be fun, but when one feels the other lost interest, you have some work to do.
2007-06-20 05:26:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex in and of itself is not that important, but what it tells us about our spouse is. When one does not want sex, it tends to make the other feel unattractive, undesirable, unwanted and unneeded. A healthy sexual relationship in a marriage will provide both with a sense of security, love, and worth. When the drive of one fades (as in your case), it causes doubt, wonder, fear and a variety of different emotional issues. Add to that the one partner that wants sex is also feeling deprived of that physical pleasure on top of all that and you have problems. In reality there may be a simple reason his drive has dropped off and it could be stress. You need to talk with him and find out what has caused the drop and maybe there are some simple things you can do to help him out.
2007-06-20 04:59:04 · answer #3 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you're sure he isn't satisfying himself elsewhere with another woman, another man, or porn...then, there are people out there who aren't that interested in sex, period. It's not a gender issue, although it does seem to be a complaint of more men than women.
If he "puts you down" when you ask, there's definitely a respect and love issue here, but that may be independent of his apparent low sex drive, or it may be directly connected to it.
Only he knows for sure. You have to talk to him seriously about it without pressuring him. Anybody, no matter what gender, that feels they are being pressured into sex is going to shy away from it even further. So choose your words carefully, and ask gentle questions such as...honey, there's nothing wrong with our relationship is there? and just be concerned, don't be accusatory or put him on the defensive.
2007-06-20 04:52:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Sex is a very big issue in a relationship. Your husband is way too young to have a vanished sex drive. He needs to see a doctor. Many relationships are broke up over sex and or money.
2007-06-20 04:49:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to take him on a vacation. Remind him what sex is like. He is way way to young to have no sex drive. For most men this is their peak. Yours won't happen until your in your late 20's early 30's so if you are at your peak now wait a few more years and then it will be really bad for you if he is still not interested. It's hard I know, but you may want to consider counseling. Intimacy is very important. It's a was of showing love....and if you keep getting rejected there might not be anything to look forward to in your relationship.
Good luck!
2007-06-20 17:19:29 · answer #6 · answered by KR52 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, a 23 year old man does not want sex? There's definitely something wrong. What is stressing him out? Try to help alleviate his stress by eliminating the source of it, then if it doesn't help things any, I'd seek counseling. I'm not trying to be a jerk, but he's not gay, is he? A gay man would not be attracted to a woman...that's all I mean.
2007-06-20 04:53:04 · answer #7 · answered by ron-D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage and individual counseling might help. He needs some personal help to help him learn to deal with his stress, and you both need couples counseling to help you two learn to communicate. It is abnormal for a 23 yo guy to have ZERO sex drive, and to put his wife down for wanting to be intimate. You two need help (and more him than you), and I think that really the only reliable way to get that help will be to get it from a trained professional.
2007-06-20 04:49:49 · answer #8 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, he should see a doctor and see if there is a medical reason for his lack of drive. Next, he needs some stress relieving techniques. I'm with you that sex relieves stress but not everyone feels that way.
Then understand that he's putting you down because he's insecure about his lack of libido.
2007-06-20 04:51:27 · answer #9 · answered by LB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No Sex = No relationship
2007-06-20 04:49:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋