My Wife cheated on me and moved out -How to get her back?

Question

We were married for 6 years, I went on business trip amd my wife had an affair and eventually she left the hosue with my 3 sons 1 year old and 2-1/2 year old.
I still love her and saying to her Iw ill do anything to get her back. Not Just because I love her also because our Kids are so small they need momy and Dady togather.
She is saying she is not coming back. her parents her friends everyone is on my side but she is not listing.
I feel like hell with her lets move on but as soon as i look at my kids I want her back.
She is now saying we can be best friends but She is not comign back.
Can some one sugest a plan how can i try to bring her back home.. I trusted her so much that for sake of her I did not even make any other friend in last 6 years we worked togather we lived togather and traveled all over the world togather.
I am so devestated and I am willign to do anything to win her back...any and all sugestions are welcome

I want her back because I know she is not making a good decision... She is just in the moment...
We were planning to start college funds for Kids
We were searching for Good Private School
We were looking for a bigger home

All of sudden its a total Flip Flop I found out about the affair after she moved out.

Answer 1

The proven statistics are in your favor. Rebound relationships eventually fail. Be patient. When she comes back around (she will) insist on couples counseling. PS....also read the post above mine and live by it. I totally agree with it. Nobody likes a victim. Be strong and show her you are. She will wonder why you seem to be able to live without her and wonder what you are up to.

Answer 2

Many of the problems you may be facing could be just the tip of the iceberg on what is really happening in your marriage. I dont mean to scare you but many problems when they either first show up or if they keep reoccurring could be just whats showing from a larger problem that either you or your spouse cannot even see. One of the only things you can do to help is to talk honestly and openly with each other in the marriage. If things become more serious more serious options need to be looked at as possibilities. I have a blog that has more information on some of what I've been writing about. If you feel like checking it out I would completly suggest it. Read here https://tr.im/ZeTfA

Love is a choice that is made everyday when you wake up and every night when you go to sleep. Some days you may not feel the original feeling but love isnt a feeling or an emotion. Its an action a verb. Falling out of love may just mean you need to spice things up a little or that you were never in love in the first place. Don't just get out of a marriage just because you don't think you like the person anymore.

Answer 3

Please read this.Years ago i was in your situation only I was the wife who cheated.I also had a spouse who wanted me back so bad he would have done anything.You sound like a great catch so was my guy.I will be very honest with you on what I believe is possibly true from a cheating wifes view but i feel this would only be true if you were infact a good husband . My ex was perfect and I still did what I did.,your question is how to get her back well i want to tell you what would have done it for me.First of all please please stop begging and crying and if you are telling her you want to die ,STOP IT. That makes a more confuse it scares us and it reveals weakness in a man.We want a strong man I am not telling you to be an asshole just dont beg.Go to church tell her you ve decided to let her find her own way back to were she belongs which is with her husband but dont tell her that part.You dont want her to think that this is the only reason why .After a few weeks let her see a different side of you the side she fell in love with and then invite her.You are going to have to get yourself together this will be the hardest thing but dont breakdown begging and pleading and getting angry will do nothing to bring her back please trust me. If she is giving you false hope it is only because she is feeling sorry for you.If yell at her, call her names she will only be stronger and that will only make it easier to leave you for sure. I could go on and on but give this a shot God can do wonders he can change a persons heart .I believe that this is truelly the only way.Good luck

Answer 4

I'm very sorry for your situation. I know that devastated feeling. You can not change her. She has made her decision, now you have to accept it. Make sure you get your visitation rights to the children. You are on your own now. You could never trust her anyway and you don't want to be with someone who doesn't want you. This has been her decision to destroy your family, not anything you can do to put it back together. Join a support group for recently divorced people. Start making other friends. You are grieving for a lost marriage. It will take a lot of time to heal. But you must accept it, you are powerless to change it.

Answer 5

I know this response is now 8 years old, but I'm hoping you will somehow read this. I really like that you posted this from your perspective of being the one that stepped out. My wife cheated on me and has now left me for the man she cheated on me with, and I have done all of what you said your husband did to try and get you back. Begging, pleading, crying, telling her I'm going to die without her, can't got on without her, even was forced into a hospital from my family because they were concerned I would harm myself. I know this is not the way to get any woman back as it shows complete weakness, and what woman wants a weak man ? Hell, what human wants to be around a weak person ? So I would like to ask you a question. If your husband had broken this cycle of the desperate pleas to get you to come back and had shown you more confidence and understanding, would you have gone back to him ? I myself an trying to switch gears and show her a different side of me. Not talk about a future, but just hang out, (pretend to have fun for now),roll with the punches, and try to get her to come back naturally.
What are your thoughts on this ? Just need to hear from experience and not a "professional opinion".

Answer 6

Show her you have moved on, happily. Do not beg. Get a lawyer and make arrangements to see the kids or even go for full custody, show her you can and will move on, this will get to her. Remember its quality not quantity that will count when seeing the kids. You will get through this in time, your just in a dark place right now and can't see the light, there is one if you keeping moving on at a positive pace. GL and Take Care

Answer 7

Unfortunately, you probably will have to accept that she is not coming back. In order to repair this marriage, both parties must make a firm, honest commitment to rebuilding a broken relationship. Perhaps she will wake up and realize the grass isn't greener on the other side, you will have a chance at forgiving and rebuilding. Until then, start to take care of yourself, get stronger, stay mentally healthy, and be kind to yourself. She will notice those changes over time and maybe wake up. Good luck.

Answer 8

Your first mistake is that once you got married you stopped living your own life and started living the 'Mr.&Mrs.' life. Your identity was so wrapped up in it that when she left you had nothing to fall back on. It's almost as though you are a 'nobody' now.

You can't make someone's mind up for them. You cannot force her to come back to the home if she doesn't want to. You can try marriage counseling as a first step. But right now, the more you try to plea your case to her, the further you push her away.

Try to look into getting therapy for yourself. Start taking care of yourself cause no one else will.

Answer 9

Apparently, you cannot accept reality. She is not coming back to you. There are no suggestions anyone can give you that will make her come back to you. She prefers the man she is with now over you. It's tough on you, it's tough on the kids and the rest of the family. Apparently, in her mind, it's worth it, so quit trying to change something you can't.

Answer 10

You can't make her back or win her back if she is not willing or wanting to come back. It is her loss. Pick yourself up by the boot strings and start planning a life without her. You will be better off. Make sure you seek an attorney because you do have paternal rights.Time will heal the wounds.