Lost me' papa on Easter Sunday. It's been a mess ever since. I really want to go to ND to scatter his remains, but my familys' really broken right now. Should I go and support the few family members going, or should I just stay in the mid west? It only happens once, so i should go, right? Money is extremely tight, as it is for everyone else, and I just got evicted from my former apt. I may have to move again soon. My point: Any trips deemed uneccesary are out of the question. This trip, though, may have to be. It'll be in about the next couple of mos. Thanks. Any insight will be of great help, and appreciation. Go Vikings!!
2007-06-20 03:19:45 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
My dear daughter of a diceased father,
May the God, our Universal Father,
love you and guide you.
The most important part of saying good bye to our mothers and fathers is to love them, forgive them and say a good bye for their further journey in to God. By this, we also should carry on our own life with the very purpose we have been sent by God, who is the Father of all of us.
When you will hold or think of the ashes of your father in your hand, you will have a mind to love him and forgive him for all his angers.
This will also make you a humble lady: From dust to dust is our journey in this wolrd.
Our parents give us angers which they get it from their own parents.
If you have a strong mind as Yogananada had when he left India and heard about his mother's death on the ship, he prayed for her soul and thank God for sparing him the sight of his dead mother. But Yoganada has already taken Sanyas when this happened.
I did not see my mother die either and when I finally realized I cried very deep and loud and let her go from our world to hers.
The reality is still less painful than our imagination and that is why we go and attend funerals so we do not keep the sadness of our parting with our parents.
We all have to go back to our heavenly father some day, but we do have our children to always love till we go.
If we keep our parents bound in our minds, how can we love our children and grandchildren?
I have given you enough to make a decision of your own because you have to live with your own mind and the mind is very complicated assembly of thoughts to completely understand.
If you are unable to come to a decision, I would like you to do what I do and what my own spiritual Guru does.
He prays this to God and his mind and
he lets his mind to decide and let him know.
When he gets up the next day, he says, he always knows what to do.
The solutions are already stored in our subconscious mind and it needs to be free from your conscious doubts so that it can relate to you.
In our group of Sounds of the heart, by Msn. groups, we say that when we are free from anger, we know what to do for our problems.
Doubts and indecision create our anger.
What ever you do, it will be right decision, remember that for the rest of your life.
God bless you.
Do Kapalbhati and you will think more clearly.
Ramesh1938
Please write"Kapalbahati" in the subject Matter. .if you write an email to me.
2007-06-20 04:14:15 · answer #1 · answered by ramesh1938 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try and get the family to agree on holding off on the spreading of the ashes until all can be there. This is actually what my daughter is doing right now. She is holding her fathers ashes for those in the family who really want to be a part of the scattering of them can physically and financially make it. The good thing is that ashes do not decompose, they will last forever, so this can be put off. Have you also thought of purchasing some small containers which are worn as jewelry with some of the ashes in them. A friend of mine and her brother and sisters did that with some of their father's ashes. When my daughters dad died she and her sister were so overcome with grief and in such shock they did not want to make any decision. They are now coming around to doing so. Just remember you can wait to do this and I am sorry for your loss.
2007-06-20 03:56:58 · answer #2 · answered by Zenawoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can anyone else in your family help you out with the costs? If not, I can't help but play devil's advocate here, although all the "Just go" answers here are emotionally valid responses. The thing is that if you simply cannot afford to go and no one can help you out, then you are going to put yourself in a bad situation. Your father would not want you to dig a deep hole for yourself financially. He would want you to live your life and be happy. If you will put yourself in serious debt or end up out on the street, then don't go. That kind of stress will not help you OR your family OR your dad. If you decide to go, though, I certainly would not blame you. If you decide not to go, you will just be being practical. You can call your family that IS participating and wish them well. Think it over and do what is best for you. Either way, I wish you the best of luck!
2007-06-20 03:30:44 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So your family cannot afford to go, also?
There are things you can try.
Set it up to go, and tell the family you are going, to represent all of them. Money is always going to be tight. If you can find a way to go, then go. Talk to airlines about grief trips. Trips to go to funerals, and ask if they help... (just ask, i don't know).
If you are going only out of guilt, now that's a different story.
If you are going to get away from your money problems, even for a couple of days, then that will only be a temporary fix.
I pray you get a good paying job, the family is able to feel God's comfort, and my Sincere Sympathy to you and yours...
2007-06-20 03:35:36 · answer #4 · answered by C Sunshine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Do everything in your power to be able to make the trip. I think it will make you happy to be there when the ashes are spread. Those few family members will appreciate your support as well.
2007-06-20 03:32:15 · answer #5 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go. Because in the long run you will regret not going. THIS IS YOU FATHER! Come on! Don't do this to him!
You are going to feel good that you did, later!
2007-06-20 03:33:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My condolences to you, I am sure there is a family member or friend that can assist you in making the trip less expensive for you...it is a stressful time, the memories of your father will live on forever, whether or not you are able to make it...my bet is, someone else wants you to be there, and can help make it possible for you...
2007-06-20 03:31:34 · answer #7 · answered by miahstarella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please accept my condolences for your loss. :( Your money situation is indeed unfortunate, but I do believe that by going to this ceremony, you can begin the healing process for yourself. Also, by sharing the grief with the rest of your family, it could help bring you together. He is your father, and your only one... it's evident that you cared for him or you wouldn't be so torn up about it. Go, and figure out the money later.
2007-06-20 03:31:35 · answer #8 · answered by napalm_bunny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go Vikings? I guess that puts in perspective. Stay home and save money so you have a place to live. Anyone rooting for a football team in June has their own priorities.
2007-06-20 03:30:22 · answer #9 · answered by canela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go or you'll regret it.
2007-06-20 03:22:53 · answer #10 · answered by Ginny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋