Me and my husband have been happily married for 7 years now. We have two lovely children. There's only one problem. Lately, when ever we are intimate he wants to turn the TV on to look at "eye candy" as he puts it. I don't really understand why he wants to look at other women everytime we are intimate. I am fairly open minded to anything he wants to try and he looks at a lot of porn on the net, and that is OK with me.
It feels to me as if I am not sexy enough for him to get arroused or exited. I look well after myself and keep a close watch on my weight (5.48ft and 124pounds).
Its not a problem if he does this once in a while, I also enjoy it occationally. But lately I'm feeling rejected in a way. Am I being too selfish wanting all of his attention on me (on my body I work so hard on to keep sexy for HIM)?
Please tell me if I am making an issue out of nothing. I Love him but he just does't make me feel good about myself. What can I do? Please help!
2007-06-20 03:04:30 · 14 answers · asked by Annie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are two parts to your answer.at first i was outraged that your husband was watching the telly and not paying attention to you and then in the next paragraph you said you enjoyed that occasionally perhaps your husband thinks that it excites you and is blissfully ignorant of your true feelings he may assume that it is part of what arouses you i suggest that you discuss it with him in a gentle way and listen to what he says to find the answer to your question after all it is supposed to be a joyous experience for both of you cheers and good luck
2007-06-20 03:18:42 · answer #1 · answered by bitumendancer 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been married nearly 14 years to the same great lady. Intimacy is between YOU TWO - not you two plus someone on a TV screen.
Personally, I find it very troubling what your hubby is doing. I would never dream of it, mainly b/c how is that supposed to make you feel? I'm thinking that you either don't turn him on anymore, or he's got a porn problem. Either way, I wouldn't stand for it, if I were you.
Get some counseling or something, but don't continue. Its just not normal.
2007-06-20 10:13:39 · answer #2 · answered by DAJ 1969 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not making an issue out of this at all. For him to want "eye candy" everytime, is a problem.
Put your foot down girl and tell him, it's okay once in awhile and explain to him, how too much of this is making you feel.
Be open and honest or else, you're just going to start feeling worse everytime.
2007-06-20 10:31:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"looks at a lot of porn"
There you go...and you thought it was harmless.
There is a wiring change in the brain with repeated porn use. Your husband may be to the point that he can't perform without the stimulus from viewing other women. He sounds really far gone.
There is a chemical reward cycle with viewing porn and "using" it. The happy chemical dopamine is released with his sexual pleasure, and he's trained his brain to release this chemical by viewing "eye candy".
Ever heard of Pavlov's dogs? They didn't even need the food to start salivating after awhile...ringing the bell brought on immediate saliva.
2007-06-20 11:25:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think that you are making a big deal out of nothing. On the other hand, how is he supposed to know that he makes you feel bad if you don't tell him? Talk to him, with no accusations, and tell him that on occasion it's ok, but every time or even most times is starting to effect your self esteem.
2007-06-20 10:12:38 · answer #5 · answered by Nikki V 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are not making an issue of this. I would think that any women would be a little upset. If you don't mind it sometimes that is cool, but he shouldn't have to all the time. that is just wrong. stop giving it to him until he pay attention to you.
2007-06-20 10:29:01 · answer #6 · answered by maverick29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back up and remember your female wiles; simply move in a second TV set so you can have some eye candy, too. Don't let him get complacent, make him sweat.
2007-06-20 10:21:11 · answer #7 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know my husband does the exact same thing and I finally asked to explain why to me. He said that it helps him last longer so he can pleasure me. If he doesn't preoccupy his mind then he ejaculates to early and he is afraid I won't get pleasured. I am thinking your husband may be the same. No worries girl!
2007-06-20 10:12:01 · answer #8 · answered by aintlifegrand 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain*... That is very demeaning and detrimental to your self esteem*.. His entire attention and focus should be on you**.. I could not imagine making love with you under those conditions and circumstances*...
2007-06-20 11:08:05 · answer #9 · answered by dca2003311@yahoo.com 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's having problems getting it going. You should tell him how you feel. I'm sure he'll take care of you.
2007-06-20 10:12:52 · answer #10 · answered by The Gooch 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋