whatever I do, she asks why? She believes it is good to ask every single question. Oh, did you talk to your accountant today? oh, did you talk to your friend today? why didnt u tell me about this? why u are not doing this? why r u doing that...
I really love her but ...
Is there a way to change our relationship to a frindship?
2007-06-20 02:59:35 · 11 answers · asked by hoomanagha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
At the end of the day you and her are alone go to her and ask can we talk. Don't go into it angry but lovingly and ask the question you stated to us. I would like for us to be friends, and make ex samples as such above. To me if you express this to her telling her you love her very much ,this may work for you. It sounds like all you need is a willing heart, and some compassion from her on how you feel, it's not to much to ask from someone you love. At fer all you are not a child you want a wife not a mother talking and express yourself ,letting her know how you feel will be good conversation for you as well as her. If you really love her this, is one way to show love for your marriage and the relationship please communicate.
2007-06-20 03:35:36 · answer #1 · answered by carmel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife may just be that way naturally -- a perfectionist type who can't help that she's that way. What you might try is to problem-solve and see if you can both get what you want. Tell her that you'd like to discuss something (this topic) with her and make a time that is convenient for the two of you to talk calmly about it. Tell her how you feel -- that you don't feel good when she is asking you so many questions all of the time -- that you feel belittled, judged, and nagged when she does it. You want to be her friend rather than feel like you are her child. Ask her if the two of you could possibly set aside a little bit of time each day where you sit down and talk about what you both did that day. It would be a way of communicating in a friendly way and would bring you two closer together -- and she will probably get a lot of answers without having to ask you pointed questions all throughout the day. If she still comes across in a nagging way, ask her nicely if she could please work on talking to you in a nicer way because you want to get along. The important thing is to tell her how she makes you feel rather than what she does wrong -- and that you want to find a solution that would make both of you happy.
2007-06-20 10:32:46 · answer #2 · answered by Debbie T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you want it seems is more equality. You could start by asking her all the questions about what she did and asking her to report every thing to you.
When she starts asking her list of questions, answer the first couple and then say okay that is enough. Let's try something new. I will manage my own schedule and let you know what I think you need to know and when. I will ask you when I need your assistence to operate my calendar. I will expect you to report in to me from now on. I will give you a list of tasks several times a week and we will go over that list as I think is needed several times a week to see how the progress is going.
Now you are not to be all over me with your questions and your directions from this point on.
This will take consistent re enforcement on your part and this will have to be gentle, but firm. Now you will have to step up and do your job of direction and evaluation on at least every other day basis. If you are doing all of this she will back off. Don't drop the ball because if you do she will pick it up and you will be back in your old routine which you do not like.
Now go forth and prosper. Step up to the plate. Start wearing the pants. You got the balls, use them.
2007-06-20 10:13:18 · answer #3 · answered by Toosense2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The next time she does this, stop what you're doing, put your arms across your chest and glare at her but do not utter a single word. Then turn and walk away. Do this every time she opens her mouth. She'll lose her confidence and start to wonder if she had done something wrong. If she asks you then you take her in your arms and gently explain to her that she needed to stop her bossy habit. Much that you love her, but her way of treating you is going to ruin everything. Tell her that. Hope that'll make her stop to think. Good luck!
2007-06-20 10:13:26 · answer #4 · answered by salsa 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Grow some cajones. I am not saying to beat her, but make some decisions. Do some things without asking her, Surprise her a with a trip where YOU made ALL of the reservations and pack. She will respect you more and she will love it. No matter what women's lib stuff they talk, women want real men.
2007-06-20 10:15:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is she asking so many questions? Does she have a reason to be curious? Maybe it is as simple as she wants to share every moment with you. Who says she is not a friend? Don't your friends ask questions. Most people complain that their spouse doesn't take enough interest in their life, here you have the opposite. Be thankful she cares enough to ask.
2007-06-20 10:11:38 · answer #6 · answered by blahh2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counseling for both of you. You need to learn how to stand up for yourself and she needs to see that being controlling is not working. Usually a person who is so controlling, doesn't feel in controll on the inside and tries to compensate for it by trying to control everything and everyone else. Doesn't make for good relationships.
2007-06-20 10:08:50 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all when you say I loe her.. but.. it means that something is wrong. I'd tell her how you feel.. communicate. Make a date.. tell her it's family talk day. If she rather not.. perhaps you need to have a mediator or councelor to help you. There are no really good answers, but you have many good luck vibes coming your way!
2007-06-20 10:04:57 · answer #8 · answered by Carla 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wife bosses you around because you allow it. When you tell her that you don't have to be questioned every time you make a move, she'll stop doing it. When you stop answering these questions, she'll stop asking them. When you finally tell her that you are a grown man, not one of her children, she'll start respecting you. Otherwise, she will continue to make your life miserable.
2007-06-20 10:15:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same position you were. You need to talk to her about her controlling issues, and tell her she needs to cool it. If you want to stay in this relationship you need to communicate or separate for awhile and give it a break.
2007-06-20 10:05:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋