I have had 2 long term relationships with 2 different guys that were over 40 and have never been married. Am I waisting my time hoping that I will be the one?
2007-06-20 01:56:19 · 25 answers · asked by FAYE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm over 40 and never married. On one hand I'm still waiting for the right one. I would buy into the fairy tale if I stumbled onto the love of my life.
On the other hand if there is the slightest doubt why marry?
Marriage is a very uneven legal contract totally favoring the female. There is still such thing as alimony.
In these modern times there is no disgrace in not being married if kids are not involved. So at age 40 why enter into a legal agreement that offers no benefit to the man but could cause financial ruin even if the woman turns out to be the untrue party. We have all seen it happen.
Prenups can be contested, and just getting involved with the legal system can ruin a person financially.
Marriage is only safe for guys with nothing to lose.
2007-06-20 02:28:55 · answer #1 · answered by ninebadthings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so. There must be pros and cons for both categories of guys. The ones that have been married and divorced, may have baggage and unresolved issues. On the other hand, those that have never married may have never had to share anything (never if they are of the only child variety). If I were a woman in your shoes, I'd ere on the side of helping someone learn to share than not knowing what issues might bubble up. Then again, there may be issues with the never marrieds too. The question that is nagging you, but unspoken, is if this guy's so great why isn't he taken (or ever been taken?!)?
Maybe it's best not to zero in on one type, date whomever is of interest to you, learn what issues they may have, and decide if they are worth dating long-term and/or possibly considering something more serious. One mistake you can't afford to make is thinking you are ever going to be able to change a man in either camp - not going to happen. So, if you meet Mr. Right and he's still attached to mom, that's going to be a hard bond to break (he's lived that way for 40+ years and you're going to change him?). Okay, I'm beginning to ramble - I'm stopping.
2007-06-20 02:09:47 · answer #2 · answered by Dino 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well not sure what you mean by long term. Most guys I would think over forty and NEVER married must be looking for someone that fits in quite well. Though technically they are NOT really looking, they take dating as just a thing to do in life like getting the groceries. Not saying they are flippant just matter of fact. So are you wasting your time? No but you either need to make things known soon or at least cut your losses sooner. Why and when did they or you leave? Whats long term?
2007-06-20 02:05:01 · answer #3 · answered by JoeP 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assess the situation! If the man if over 40 and only had long term relationships with no real ending, hence Marriage! Than RUN! If they live with or near their Mom, you really need to put your running shoes on!
These men are hiding issues, either they are GAY, have mommy issues, are spoiled brats, or something even worse, remember no serial killer was ever married! Just a thought!!!
2014-11-14 14:21:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. Long story short. My 2nd husbands first wife, of 11 years, married a bachelor who was 45 still living at home with his elderly parents. I was married to my 2nd husband 20 years and divorced now 9 years and his first wife and spouse are still married after all this time. I think Warren was just waiting on the right woman to come along.
2007-06-20 02:06:00 · answer #5 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are wasting your time. Men over 40 who never had a long term relationship lack experience and are way too set in their little life as single men. They have no clue what is a compromise. As a divorced woman I have much more in common with a divorced man.
2007-06-20 02:02:33 · answer #6 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no "age rule" when it comes to marriage. people married for different reasons --hopefully for love.if he is over 40 and have never been married, maybe he has never meet the right woman for him (maybe its you!) OR maybe he's just playing around and doesn't really want to be attached at all (ughh)...if you really want to find out, try talking to him about the issue..maybe you'll know more about him and the issues he's facing when it comes to marriage (if there are any).. from there, you will be able to decide whether to stay and wait that one day he'll bump his head and propose OR you may want to leave and look for a man who can give you security..
2007-06-20 02:27:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they have a better chance of getting married than a women over 40.
Also, you probably are waisting your time.
2007-06-20 02:08:22 · answer #8 · answered by All the way live! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let's look at it like this shall we.40 is not a bad age to be single.if your good looking and in great shape y should a man or woman get married there r still some much to do.i will tell anyone wait untill ur done doing what u love doing befor u get married.
2007-06-20 02:43:52 · answer #9 · answered by souelreavertate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some say you're able to in no way say in no way, yet in spite of this, some human beings do mean in no way. there is no longer something you or every person else can do to alter this person's techniques. in the event that they are desperate to no longer get married, they gained't. circumstances and alter and adult males have been customary to alter their minds. So have women human beings. in simple terms time can tell in this count. in case you're sitting around hoping that this guy will without notice awaken one morning and say - confident! She's the single! ignore it. It would not artwork that way. savour your life and stay it. even with each thing, isn't that what he's doing?
2016-10-08 21:12:18 · answer #10 · answered by finnigan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋