Ive been with my partner for 4 1/2 years, I finished him 3 weeks ago yesterday as I thought we werent getting on & were wanting different things. (im 21 and he is 39). He begged & pleaded on his knees & cried for me to give it another go, so I have done. I then felt I had let myself down as I didnt stick to my guns. I told him i eventually wanted kids and marriage which he was against having kids but told me he'd give me one and marry me, which my responce was that i cant do that to him, let him give me something he doesnt want isnt fair. I have now planned to leave him on 6th July (set a date as this is the only time I can move) my plan was to leave him a note as i cant bear to see him go through that again, I love him but I want to go out & have a good time, not worry about having to be home for someone else. The sparks gone, I think were more like mates but the longer im drawing this out the weaker im becoming and am losing my backbone to do this. Advice please.................!xx
2007-06-20 01:10:54 · 13 answers · asked by arlvsrf 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I know leaving a note is so the wrong way but if i see him in that state again then ill crumble and give him another chance, hes my best mate so still want to have contact and i care so much for him, this is screwing my head up!
2007-06-20 01:25:47 · update #1
he doesnt already have kids, we have loads in common, i just.........oh im so tired!
2007-06-20 01:39:24 · update #2
This is a diffy. I think you are doing the right thing. You still have many years to find someone and start a family. But in the mean time hit the town and bogey on down lol. But i wouldn't leave a note i would leave a letter if you no that you will cave in and dont want to. But he needs to no how you feel and what went wrong, for e.g he didn't want kids. And if you did finally talk him into it you would no that he didn't want the baby and that's not a healthy thing for you or a child to live with. Say at the end of the letter that you want to still be friends but its time to move on. Gd luck for the 6th of July XxX
P.S. Dont give him your new house number or address just in case he loses it and takes it the wrong way (Im thinking of your safety here)
2007-06-20 02:27:41 · answer #1 · answered by pottermad160 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really sad that the spark has gone but once that happens i dont believe you can ever get it back. I do think you're doing the right thing leaving him because in the long run it will be the best thing for the both of you but i don't think you should leave him a note. He surely deserves more than that. It will be hard to see him go through it again but you have to be strong and do whats right. He will get over you eventually and in time you will both realise your relationship just wasnt meant to be. Just be honest with him, Good luck : )
2007-06-20 01:18:51 · answer #2 · answered by Scorps 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to bite the bullet and move out on July 6th. Just leave him a note like you said. You really should find someone more your own age. He's lived his life and (I'm guessing) has kids already and doesn't want more. When young girls like you date older men, they realize quickly that though the older man adores them (usually for superficial reasons) they have nothing in common. Go out and have fun with people your own age! You are only 21!!!!!
2007-06-20 01:28:18 · answer #3 · answered by Be me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not fair to you or him if its over , if u stay wiv him becoz of pity then ur only going to hurt him in the long run , if u leave him now he wil lget over you and find sum1 who will love him more then u cud even if he doesnt thatnkyou , u know u have done the rite thing for him , as for you its not fair being with sum1 if the sparks not there nemore its gunna b hard n hurt like hell but if its something u feel u have to do then do it , make sure it is really what u want as u may end up regretting it later on .
Hope u make the right choice. xx
2007-06-20 01:20:11 · answer #4 · answered by Amy4eva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your guns....the man you will meet 1 day.... YOU will be nuts about & Happy ...Don't waste your life trying and hurting both you & he.... something that will always give you tention... You r sooooooo young no need to get hooked yet. He is 18 years older than you .... different maturity and experience level .... move on..... Please ... from a woman who has been in love many times and twice married to the wrong men.....
2007-06-20 01:50:03 · answer #5 · answered by quen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stick to your guns girl.. if its not there, its not there.. move on and get what you want out of life.. there are plenty of more fish in the sea and you are still sooo young... if you dont you'll end up like my friend (she's 23, he's 45) and she cheats on him all the time left and right... if you dont want that, stick up for yourself and move on... of course he's crying he's a 40 year old man with a 21 year old girl.. chances are he wont find a situation like you again ;_)
2007-06-20 01:16:33 · answer #6 · answered by magick h 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't leave a note. not telling him in person just shows how immature you're being...if you really cared you'd do it the right way and deal with the pain of seeing him. you'll make him feel like he's not worth being told in person.
2007-06-20 01:48:12 · answer #7 · answered by punkrockprincess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack up and leave you are entitled to live out your life in the best for you manner that you can find leave a note but no forwarding address.~~
2007-06-20 01:16:57 · answer #8 · answered by burning brightly 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are being manipulated and played like a violin.
If this is the life you choose for yourself, lose your will power and become his door mat.
2007-06-20 01:29:27 · answer #9 · answered by ~Casper~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definately stick up for yourself and stick to your guns. You dont want to be with him. DOnt waste your time or his.
2007-06-20 01:24:56 · answer #10 · answered by Sara J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋