My wife and our daughter (she is 13) they don't seems to live in harmony. They argue over very small issue which i think can be sorted out just by mutual discussion. I have discussed with them several times and neither of them seem to learn. My daughter don't give in (always wants to know WHY?) and my wife get angry very quickly. I sit in between their hot tempers and is now breaking my heart as i did not think this is a family i wanted. To make matters worse is that whenever my wife has fight with our daughter the bedroom is COLD/ZIP. I suffer twice since i don't have the family i wanted and the bedroom is so lousy... What to do?
2007-06-20 00:38:29 · 16 answers · asked by Nuel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is just the way things go unfortunately. Your daughter is at the age where she will question aurothity and I am asuming your wife is at/or nearing the menopause phase BAD COMBINATION! Rest asured it's probably not a long term thing and will eventualy fade out as your daughter gets older. It's just hormonal.
2007-06-20 00:43:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The fact that your daughter just became a teenager has alot to do with it and your wife should already know that. Your wife seems like she's very immature. This is a teenager! They will begin to disagree with alot at that age, but that's too bad. She should be respecting you and your wife. They are like a child in the "terrible two's".
If you tried to stop it by communicating, that's wonderful, but because that is not working you have to have alot more power. You have to say (to your wife only), you will not live like this, that something better change now, because now this is even affecting you sexually, that your fighting over ridiculous reasons and she is suppose to discuss things and teach her daughter. She's not suppose to "stoop to her level" and fight with her. That's what making her seem so immature. Then you also have to confront your daughter and tell her, this will stop right now, as we speak. That she will respect what your wife says, whether she disagrees or not, or you will take it to the next level. You know what the next could be. Take her cell phone away, stop her from going out, etc.
Get some control here. You will find out how much your wife loves you if you do. Don't let this nonsense ruin the atmosphere at home and your marriage! That makes no sense to me. Take the reigns. Get going!
2007-06-20 01:46:05 · answer #2 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the wonderful world of teenagers. Pretty much all teenagers go through this phase, some worse than others. A friend of mine has a 14 year old that is doing the same thing as your daughter probably worse though. Her and her mom are constantly fighting over every little thing, the daughter is getting herself into heaps of trouble. They are now in family Counseling and things are getting better slowly.
2007-06-20 00:45:28 · answer #3 · answered by bluemysti 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Talk your wife into parenting classes....your daughter is just hitting a real independent stage and wants to be heard..thats where your wife needs to develop listening skills and anger management skills...Being a parent is tough....it's not all give on the kids part Parents need to flex a lil as well....
2007-06-20 01:22:45 · answer #4 · answered by snickers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal for teenage daughters to fight with their mothers. What's happening is that she is getting older and nearing adulthood and needs to express her independence. She's seperating herself from her mother in order to find her own identity. Teenage boys often fight with their fathers for the same reason. Basically, it's a phase.
This may not have been the family you wanted, but now that you have a family, you need to be realistic.
I suggest that both you and your wife invest either in some parent counselling or a good book on adolescent psychology to help you understand what your daughter is going through and learn how to keep the peace during this time. It might be a great idea to improve your English and grammar as well. You want to be a good father now don't you?
2007-06-20 00:45:35 · answer #5 · answered by qwertatious 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Talk to them both and tell them its upsetting you seeing them fight all the time. Your wife should know not to bite so easily being the oldest and know which topics to ignore. But the reason why they fight is because they are so much alike. Maybe a cold jug of water may come in handy to have on standby when a fight breaks out lol. Best of luck.
2007-06-20 00:45:05 · answer #6 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There usually comes a time when all teenage girls will argue with thier mothers. Maybe you should go to family counseling to see if that will help. Maybe you could also start doing more together as a family. Also maybe you could speak up and give your opinion about whatever they are fighting about.
2007-06-20 02:04:26 · answer #7 · answered by susie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your daughter is that age when she is neither a child nor an adult, but she will feel more adult than child like. she is asserting her position as a viable woman in the household, your wife is still the alpha female and wants that known, she is also protecting your daughter as she is aware of how harsh life outside is, your daughter will however be wanting to push the boudaries
theres nothing you can do here, its all part of growing up, but it will get better and eventually pass
get yourself a shed to escape to
2007-06-20 00:45:18 · answer #8 · answered by ♠ Merlin ♠ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take your wife's side and tell your daughter if she wants to know why, it's because you and your wife are the bosses and you said so.
2007-06-20 01:13:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly, i dont know i'm in the same position with my daughter who is also 13 i think they are grwoing into the person they are going t obe they are finding out what they like or dont like, (personality wise) they think they know everything, sometimes i feel like she wants to be the boss and tell me what to do. My husband is in the sam eboat you are and alot of times i find him telling both of us to shut up because we both have to have the last word i wish i could help but im on your wife side right now, we deal with all the problems when it comes to the children and you all dont try being supportive of your wife and take charge of your household, be more involved when it comes to discipline i know i wish my husband would be
2007-06-20 01:09:07 · answer #10 · answered by mmedina96 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋