My girlfiriends Dad committed suicide 8 months ago. I'm thinking about proposing but I wonder is it too soon?

Question

The wedding wouldn't be for at least 2 years by the way.

Answer 1

Come on man - seriously asking YahooAnswers for this one? You know the answerto this with out asking us - your just looking for a reason to pop the question because you have ant's in your pants - WAIT FOR THE RIGHT TIME!!!! and that time is not now. End of story -

You love the girl, right?
You want to spend the rest of your life with her, right?
You want her to be happy and be able to live her life with out the question of was that what I was really thinking or was I just looking for something to get me out of my funk, right?

OK enough said - good luck and congradulations on finding the right one man - Make it special - take your time and don't rush it, OK?

Answer 2

without knowing more it is difficult to know if it is right time now.

Life goes on and it should be possible to get an indicator if this is a good time. If your girlfriend burst into tears constantly she need some help working this through.

There is so many loose ends after a suicide. The why, the did I not see it coming, could I have done something. The answers you aren't getting. The stigma, real or perceived. We work though these things in different ways and to my knowledge it will always be there one way or the other. There is also going to be a wedding where he is not going to be there. Is that the real issue.?

In that case: If she is the woman you love and want to spend your life with, down on the knee and tell her. When you are down there then tell her that it is in her time and the way she wants it. It will all be good.

And please remember that it is after all a wedding and it is one day starting on the rest of your life together. You don't have to have a traditional wedding. You could walk up the aisle together, you could have a beach wedding in the Bahamas, on a cruise, in the forest. The most important thing would be to ask her, and make sure that she knows that you do it in your time and your way. And it would be good to acknowledge and mention her father in a speech. How much he probably wanted to be there. People that take their own life often have reasons we don't know much about or they are simply ill one way or the other. Do explore this issue together as it could help the healing process. Often when left behind the silence is the worst, people not asking and talking about him.
wishing you all the best.

Answer 3

It's difficult to say. The only thing that I can share is that my friend had been engaged for about 2 years and her mother fell ill in July last year. In August she was diagonsed with cancer and passed away in November. People were unsure if the wedding planning should still go ahead. Some people thought it was too soon and that they should give it time. But the reality is that her life still needs to go on.

Do ever really "get over" the death of a loved one? I don't think so. But it gets easier to cope with that loss.

I'm so glad that your girlfriend has someone like you who's is standing with her in support at this difficult time. I think you should talk to her about how she feels about marriage in general and where it plays a part in her life at the moment. If like you said you won't be getting married until maybe 2 years time, you may want to wait a little while longer.

By the way, my friend is getting married next week, and although she still misses her mother, she is so happy to be getting married to this wonderful guy. I think your girlfriend will feel the same about you.

All the best.

Answer 4

Careful, here.

First you. If you were considering the proposal before the death then you are more likely to be thinking clearly and not acting out of a increased closeness with her that came as a result of her grieving..

Same for her. If your relationship is strong, and was before, your probably on safe grounds. I assume you've discussed the idea in the past.

Should you become engaged, don't plan the wedding too quickly. She has a lot of things to work out and planning a wedding, while providng a great escape, may slow the healing down.

Answer 5

I think, from a woman's perspective, it may be too soon. I only say that because her first thought after accepting (and she will accept) is going to be "my dad won't be here to walk me down the aisle" and it might throw her back into the beginnings of the grief process. Give it a good year after his passing, maybe a couple months after the 1st anniversary and (another 6 months from now) and then sit her down and get an idea where she's at with the idea of marriage. If she's ready than plan the big proposal and go for it...

BTW I am heart broken to hear that her father ended his own life, how tragic, I am praying for her and her family...and she sounds blessed to have someone like you!!

Answer 6

It is time propose to her. It will take her mind off her dad's suicide. Which that is so awful for that to happen to her. I am so sorry for her. Yes go and do it. It is not too soon. Best of luck to you.

Answer 7

it depends how she has handled it? some people are sad whilst others get angry and find it a selfish way out.

it may be what she needs to take her mind off of it and give her something to look forward to.
the only problem is she may get upset as her father isn't around to give her away.

maybe speak to her friends as they may know how she would react. but you can have a long engagement until she is ready to tie the knot. just go for it as you don't know until you ask?

let her know how much she means to you and that she can take things at her own pace.
good luck

Answer 8

That is very sweet that you are being so considerate of her feelings. You want the proposal to be a happy moment for her, right now a proposal might bring up to much emotion for her to handle right now. I would say put the idea aside for at least another 5 months. At that time maybe you can start hinting at it and see how she reacts. Just be very aware of her feelings and the time will come natural to you.

Answer 9

Thats lovely, it may be a bit too soon though, leave it a while longer as it must of been a big shock for her finding out her dad had committed suicide.

Just be there for her.

Answer 10

There will never be a good time as she'll take a long time to get over her dads death. By way of your proposal will atleast make her focus on something and will help her grieving process. Good luck.. you go for it!!!!!!!