Sudden change of feeling for my fiancee. Seeking advice.?

Question

I've been in a relationship for 4 years, moved countries to be with her, dealt with many heartaches, struggled with our characters,shared the most wonderful moments of my life & find her completely an amazing person who I found it very easy to love.deep in this love, I proposed to her 1 year ago. 2 months ago we moved house (a small town to a city, which I'd long awaited) & at the same time as moving she made alot of trouble with me over minor problems.She has always had a problem apologizing & when she decided to blame me for her bad mood, I popped.Years of feeling I was the only one to blame crushed me & for a night I grew hateful.Once calm, she has said she will try to balance our troubles in future.I believe she derserves my forgiveness & believe she is the one for me.But something delicate was broken in this time & I can't find it again.We plan to marry in Aug, but I don't feel the deep love for her I once did.Now it looks like we will cancel the wedding & break-up. What happened?

p.s. Shes 2 1/2 months pregnant. This loss of feeling for her started 1 month before we found out. We've now been struggling through this rough time for 2 months.

I am Sagittarius and she is Virgo by the way.

I'm from New Zealand and she is from Germany.

We're very good at trying to communicate the best we can, and generally we are very honest and succeed in working thru troubles.

My feeling is that we're not breaking up over something small.. rather something that has run deep for a long while and now effects my emotions toward her.. and now I'm trying desperately to hurry my emotions into healing before I push her even further away (as I have been)

We definitely have both been enduring alot of stress (new jobs, moving, pregnancy, isolation, wedding)

Her character type has always been very confrontational and quick to anger Vs mine, which is more passive and avoiding conflict.
This has lead me to swallow alot in the past in hope of peace.

The Wedding may not happen now. I just want to really FEEL for her again and of course go on to support her thru pregnancy and beyond. But I'm confused where my positive emotions for her have gone?

I should probably add.. its not just a loss of a deep love. Ever since this night I haven't been wanting to spend much time with her, avoid her, have been finding minor things very annoying & question her intelligence. All things I wouldn't dream off 2 month ago. This is why I find it difficult to trust these feelings I have now.. the contrast was so sudden.

Answer 1

i think may be you have been holding stuff in to keep the peace and now its getting to you. life never runs smoothly and its quite normal to wonder about your relationship and to some times feel like you want to throttle your other half iykwim.
I wouldn't rush in to a decision just yet i would may be write down what you are feeling and have a godd heart to heart with your girlfriend.
do you love her
can you imiange living with out her
think of all the good things about her and try and recapture the good times. we can get so wrapped up in life some times and organisisng a wedding moving house are very stressful times in any one life.

i was just wondering is this apart of your girlfriend personality to be cross and starting fights or has it just come up recently
i am just wondering if its pms or has she got something else going on with work or that.

basically i think a long heart to heart were you listen and talk to each other may think about talking to a councilor to help work things out . tell her how you feel explain you will not take the blame for every thing you are a team that has to work together to work it has to be equal give and take on both sides .

this could be just a rough patch we all have them i hope every thing becomes clear and she is lucky to have some one who thinks so highly of her

Answer 2

You guys were washing your hands in love. Love is about liking the imperfections too. Minor things were showing because they were sidepassed before due to the feelings you had for each other only being shown. Don't cancel off the wedding, try to sidepass the minor details. That is what will help you guys for the future. Try do to things that might not annoy her so much, and her you. Talk this out-you've been together long enough to not break something off over something little. Maybe it is stress that is the cause of all of this. Try talking that out too. The love that used to be strong-and now isn't, is just anger built up, and as soon as you express that, then it should go away, and you should be in love with her again. And if not, then I don't know what you guys were surving on in those three years and such.

Answer 3

a woman always have these bad moods because there's somthing happening in their body that aren't happening to you and you may not even know anything about it. These biological activities that women have affects their behavior because such activities comes with hormones that areresponsible for such bad temperament, and other unbecoming behavior. I believe that she's doing her best to be loved by you as she loves you.

all you have to do is to give her some time to explain. a good communication is the answer to a good relationship. try to ask her for problems she might be facing right now and tell her that you might be able to help her out, after all, who'll help you when you get married but each other? nobody can help you no matter how much help he or she offers to the two of you if both of you don't want to help each other. the solution lies to you both. just talk about it and fix it. you must also try to recollect all your memories. you might had benn in such moods before too and if she'd bare that you should also bear her turmoils. and don't forget to be honest, you don't have to tell her straight away about what you feel because you'll definitely hurt her, just tell her calmly and say why you feel this and that...

Be patient my dear.

Answer 4

You either didn't pass the test or your still taking it.
Love and relationships are tested by things like personality conflicts and disagreements. You both are defined on how you deal with the aftermath, not on how you argued or who won, or who was right or wrong. What will break or make your relationship is depending on what direction you both are looking in.

For example:
Imagine you both are on top of a mountain peak, stairing into the distant horizon. Now slowly turn your head towards her and see if she is looking in the direction you are looking in. If she is not, then your life's paths will not be as one. On the other hand if you are both looking in the same direction, then the journey will be together reguardless of the pitfalls that stumble either of you.

Answer 5

Try relationship therapy. Sometimes as you grow together, you go through lulls, or you begin to take each other for granted. It will always happen in every relationship. This is one of many times you will feel this way throughout your relationship. You must work to make a relationship last. If you give up, then you never truly loved her.

Answer 6

Let it go bro. Think of how you will feel, even at the alter if you're not being true to yourself. You owe yourself and her that. Once you have children it will get messier. Why not try seperating for a while to see other people? If you have doubts, it's much better to call the wedding off. Trust me, people will respect you for it and will understand.