On June 20 2007 at 05:00 one Hendrik Verwoerd wakes up in the middle of Pretoria. He then starts his walk in the streets from around 07:30. What would he notice has changed and what would be his first words? He takes a meter taxi to Jan Smuts …oops I mean OR Tambo. Save for unending delays of SAA, he gets into a plane to Cape Town and his allocated seat is 14A while Ayiza is at 14B and Bull (Bush 4) is 14C. Inno, MB and Poepies, as hostesses, are busy chatting about Poepies birthday party of last weekend. In comes WRRRR with his oversized hat and ego. He sits on 13A and starts cross-chatting with Ayiza about deportations of Europeans and so forth. On row 15 sits Mr & Mrs General. Tsepo, who is in nearby seat 15D has just ordered his favourite breakfast - Hansa.
How would this two hours of flying look like?
2007-06-19 20:11:08 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Travel ➔ Africa & Middle East ➔ South Africa
Ha ha ha ha!!!! I think you could write a movie on this!!!!
The story follows with…..:
ME, the one and only Poepies on WRRRR's laps, not doing the "funky monkey" (if you know what I mean), but with my hands, FIRMLY, wrapped around his neck, strangling the living daylights out of the poor old bloke till his eyes almost pop and he passes out!
Inno runs to the cockpit and ask the Pilot which is of course you Zimmy, to please perform an emergency landing!!!!
To which Heavy D stands his ground and jumps up and slams his fist into the "wall" (which…of course cracks) and demands to take him to his destination immediately.
Ayiza jumps out of his seat, holds a few things in his hand, (which of course is garlic and beetroot) and says soft and pathetic: “Eish!!!! I got you all you white scum, I’ve got the essence for life, MUHAAAAHAAAA MUHAAAAHAAA!!!! Make one single move and I will get my goat from under my chair and shove it up you’re a s s…..”
Everybody takes their seats and look at Ayiza with an aaaah-you-poor-thing-look Not because their scared, but just to play along and help him with his dream of being Thsabalala-Msimang’s assistant. They all actually know that a comedy showcase will start shortly…….
Tshepo who sat and watched the whole scenario from across the plane, took a huge yawn and stood up, walked to Ayiza, put his hand on his shoulder and said: “Son, what is in your hand?” To which Ayiza replies: “ Eish, the essence of life!!!” Tshepo stood back a little, looked Ayiza in the eyes, smiled at him, took his Hansa can to eye level and said: “Son, the ESSENCE of life, IS BEER!!!” To which he pulls back his hand and with a great big force smashes the can right into Ayiza’s face, taking Ayiza’s hand, crushing it, and leaves while saying over his shoulder: Son, rather believe in SEASONING and not essence, seasoning with fresh herbs like freshly crushed garlic for your next pizza….!!!!
The tension settled down, WRRRR regained consciousness, Ayiza got some ice for his black eye and crushed fingers, Inno got settled, well me….. you tied me to a seat in row 11.
After a long silence, the door from the cockpit suddenly opened with a Pilot (you Zimmy) running out with a parachute on his back down the aisle saying: YEEEEEHAAAAA!!!! To which he suddenly stops and asking the following question:
“If I jump from this plane, do you think it would be possible for you guys to catch me from a falling plane before I hit the ground? It is a matter of gravity you know, my Teacher from Gr4 told me about GRAVITY, I want some proof”
Then you push open the emergency exit, with a few last words saying: “Oh and just for the record, to land this plane you need……” And then the wind pulls you out and OOOOPS, WE ARE FALLING, WITHOUT A PILOT!
Old Hendrik Verwoerd gets up to which he says with his fist on his heart: "Uit die bloute van ons Hemel, uit die diepte van ons see, oor ons ewige gebergtes....... grote griet, nou sit onse boertjies nou saam met diese klonge??? Die wêreld van vandag.....
To which the wind doesn't drag him out, but he gets pushed out by a group of New Proudly South Africans and he gets eaten by fishies, lots and lots of colorful little fishies!!!!
2007-06-19 21:38:30 · answer #1 · answered by poepies 4 · 7⤊ 0⤋
How much fun is this scenario Zim, and Poppies to take it further.
Personally - not that it would be good, or bad actually, I think that Verwoerd would have this whole shin ding whipped into shape and organized in no time at all - that is given that he carries the authority and power that he did when he died?
perhaps not along apartheid lines - because even he would recognize that some things do change - but my impression of him is that he carried an aura of power around with him because he believed explicitly in what he did as right that carries an aura of power all its own.
so I'm thinking he was in the first place traveling first class while everyone else was in tourist. And that no one messed with him and he simply ignored his fellow passengers while they continued with Poppies idea !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-06-20 05:34:48 · answer #2 · answered by london.oval 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Aw!! I want to be the pilot!!!
Verwoerd might just try to hi-jack the plane....wouldn't that be something worth seeing.
*****
Thanks poepies, everyone in this section has just dropped 2 IQ points after reading that nonsense - still very funny though.
2007-06-20 03:26:25 · answer #3 · answered by MB1810 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The minute Wrrrr walked in, Innocentia had a stomach bug and had to miss the flight.... So off she goes, off of the plane and waves her perfumed scarf....."Au re voir!!! Cough, cough....oops! I mean, oi my tummy!!"
ADD: Poepies, I would love to read your personal diary... lol! I truly enjoyed reading that, especially where Zim wants proof of gravity... reminds me of the time he wanted to know if he'd die if he hit a train... sheesh!
2007-06-20 03:27:43 · answer #4 · answered by Reb Da Rebel 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Do you think Verwoerd would actually take a flight that was not for Whites Only ?
2007-06-20 09:46:04 · answer #5 · answered by cakes4southafrica 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm scared to imagine this. Seeing as they are ALL South African, they will probably end up moer-ing (no other word, sorry) each other and disrupt the plane, haha.
2007-06-22 04:34:43 · answer #6 · answered by Lady G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell, that is one flight I am glad to miss ! Leave ol'e Verwoerd were he is , they say deeeeep down his a good guy !
2007-06-20 03:18:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Very interesting, I imagine, but somehow I'm happy you left me on mother earth ;o)
2007-06-20 10:29:16 · answer #8 · answered by Vango 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He then asks me if he could taste some of my Hansa and i moer him stukkend.
2007-06-20 03:46:40 · answer #9 · answered by Tsepo 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
hehehehe....
very interesting.
one problem, do you think wrrrr would survive the flight, and would verwoed be arrested for smoking on the plane?
2007-06-20 04:06:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋