Complicated Issue?

Question

I am married. To a great husband. We had complications about 2 months ago, we were seperated and debating divorce. (we have been married a year). well during that sep time I met someone else and he was going through the same thing. He understood everything I was going through. We only got to spend one day together. I barley knew him, but I think I fell in love with him. And I am going insane thorugh all of this. What the hell is wrong with me? My husband loves me and I know no one could love me the way he does.....but this other guy.....we had this connection. We dont know what it was, but its there and it doesnt go away. we continue to stay in contact through email and plan to hang out when we get back to the US. (we are in Iraq). I told him I thought I fell for him and he tells me he thinks he could love me but that he is hesitant to love anyone cuz of his marriage failing and stuff. So, I know he and I have no future obviously. But the question I have is whats wrong with me?

My husband and I are attempting to work through it. we both love each other very much. But, i keep thinking about my husband hurting me and its like i cant let go of that. And i know he doesnt deserve what I am doing right now, but i cant seem to move on and forget or forgive. Its like this other guy is my out.....im just so confused.

Answer 1

There's nothing wrong with you. It's natural to wonder about the grass on the other side of the fence. And maybe you are still hurt about the problems with your hubby and maybe just the smallest bit doubt your relationship? It could also be that this new guy and you are still in the exciting stage of the relationship, when everything is new and perfect, and exciting. Those feelings never last, at some point in a relationship we all settle down. If you and your hubby have found that after all the "new glow" has faded, that you still love each other and the idea of sitting together watching a movie is just as good as going out to a fancy restuarant, so long as you've got his company, then you guys have got a great chance. Be happy for yourself. Son't jeprodise your chances on a fling.

Answer 2

You simply made an emotional connection with someone who listened to you. He listened to you and understood exactly what you were saying, because he had been through it too. It is not love. You don't know anything about him. It was simply an emotional attachment from a one day meeting. That's the phenomenon we feel when we think we have known someone all our life.
Stop the emails, and put that energy and effort into your marriage. Your husband deserves it, after giving you his attention to work things out. You deserve it too.
One year, and you are willing to let it go for something else that is so unstable, you will have nothing if you make that choice. Give yourself more credit than you are. Stay and work it out with your husband. Forget about the other man, and stop the contact and emails. Good luck. And hurry home safely.

Answer 3

Listen are either one of you dead? Dint you vows say til death do us part? If you knew that you could be so weak as to fall in love with another man. Your not even divorced yet. Why did u get married? Why are u wasting the courts time? Why dotn you stop being lazy and work on you freakin marriage. Something brought you together. Now dont forget that and hopefully it will bring u back together. The grass is alwasy greener. Do you wanna be known as a man hopper. Or a serial bride? Keep it in your pants ok. Sorry to be so harsh but the american public needs to tak emarriage seriously. It was designed by god and its not a freaking joke. Divorse is a sin, so is lust. Your doing both. Just another statistic

Answer 4

You are letting your emotions take over your head. You need to take that energy you spend worrying about something you will never have, and put it on the marriage that you have invested in. How could you just start dating 2 months after a separation? You need to give yourself some time in between relationships, should that ever happen again. It is very unhealthy to start a new relationship when you are still getting through the pain of a previous one. It is not fair to you or to any man that you might date!! Try getting out with friends next time.

Answer 5

Youre actually in love with the idea of being in love again and all the fun and excitement it brings, smething thats probably missing with your current husband. I get the strongest feeling that this other guy is lying to you,letting you hear what he thinks you want to hear just to get to you. He will never nor ever had any intention of leaving his wife for you so forget him. Hes really bad news here. You just need to work things out with your husband instead of making things more complicated. Theres nothing wrong with you that isnt wrong with a million others out here, youre just looking for the fun and excitement that probably is lacking in your current relationship. Its not having what you want but wanting what youve got.. Work more on saving your current relationship instead of finding ways to destroy it,its much easier and you can do it. Good luck

Answer 6

You happened upon a situation that was the same as yours. Unusual and unique. You both needed what each one had to offer and it kinda worked out for you both, sounds like. Nothing is wrong with you, but you must move on in your life. You both need time for yourselves, now that you both are separated. Give it a little time, don't rush into something. May turn out to be worst than the first. Good Luck. www.myspace.com/odds10to1

Answer 7

there is nothing wrong with you but when we have problems when we meet someone we see what we want of them and not the whole picture and he probably said the things you wanted to hear at the time and still knows what to say and the other thing is what a thrill when we know someone other then our husbands has a think for us it makes us feel like a kid inside take care of your marriage before you start something else cause that not fair to anybody involved

Answer 8

I think your dwelling on what could have been...sometimes things and marrage get hard and its easier to call quits than work thought it and I maybe you just dont want to try anymore and this other guy is an excuse. If you know the relationship is going to go no where and you know your husband loves you than just forget about this other guy. I dont see it leading any where good.

Answer 9

You are making the situation complicated.

Are you commited to your husband or not!!!!????
It is not fair to him that you are in contact with another man. How would you feel if he was in contact with another woman???

I think you are in love with the fact that someone else found you attractive. Even he is not sure that you two should think about a future together. Get a grip and get on with life with your husband.

Answer 10

Nothing is wrong with you, but I think you will find you feel this way because when you were going through a bad time, he was there and made you feel great. It is the excitement of the unknown.