I think my in laws hate me just by the way they act & I HATE going around them but I know I have to especially for Holidays & stuff just to be there for my husband.....I always dread holidays now due to having to be around them....should I go & be there for my husband & over look them or should I tell my husband how I feel which he pretty much already knows & not go hoping my husband will understand my feelings.......???
2007-06-19 17:59:30 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
kill em ... with kindness!
2007-06-19 18:02:14 · answer #1 · answered by blkmgikwmn 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've been in the same boat. My husband and I have been married for 10 years. For the majority of our marriage, his mother has treated me like an outcast. She saw me as someone moving in on her territory. However, things have started to evolve. I'm not sure how long you've been married, but you have to give relationships time to evolve.
First, continue to be yourself and always be genuine. Second, ask them questions about themselves so they have a chance to open up to you, and you get to know them better. Third, don't say anything negative about them to your husband. It will put him in the middle, and you will be creating an environment for animosity and resentment. Fourth, ask your mother-in-law if she needs help (cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc.). If she refuses, then at least you offered. Five, always support your husband. It will show your in-laws that you truely care about their son/brother. Six, remember their birthdays.
All of it may seem daunting, but it will help melt the ice.
2007-06-19 18:09:08 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi, you're relatively no longer on my own in this. there is an entire era of husband who can not withstand their mothers/kinfolk with the aid of fact they have been raised to no longer reason any waves. i understand you have indicated which you have talked on your husband; even with the undeniable fact that, that's mandatory that this subject remember comes up in an exceedingly dramatic way. even nevertheless he's no longer inflicting those atrocious behaviors, he relatively ought to enhance some experience and a few backbone whilst he sees how his kin treats the lady he loves. And in order that which you realize, your thoughts approximately your husband is totally justified. whilst he married you---he promised to love you, guard you, and be there for you whilst cases are undesirable(or sturdy!). you're dealing with undesirable cases each and each time his mom and sister purposely make you experience unwelcome and unworthy. Your thoughts are nearer to frustration---no longer hate. This ultimatum communicate will relatively ought to be set in a fashion that your husband realizes which you advise corporation. the two considered one of you should attitude the mummy and sister at the same time as a UNITED group. it can not be purely you chatting with them and he's merely status there nodding or looking away. indignant words will unfold yet you should enable them to appreciate which you do no longer want to proceed scuffling with or hating them---you merely want a non violent kin existence. If this would not enhance, i'm sorry to assert that some persons are merely hateful and that i will assure that they wont' enhance with age.
2016-12-13 07:56:21 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you always going there for the holidays? Why not go to your family's house instead. Tell your husband how you feel & see if you can restirct the amount of time you have to spend with his family or why not get your husband to find out how his family reallly feel about you.
2007-06-19 18:04:11 · answer #4 · answered by chazta01 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Avoid as much as possible. Do join your husband for major functions, always smile and always keep good mannered. If you want to know the truth they want to like you if you give them the chance, especially make your husband show affection to you around them, cause if they see you too happy, they will relent and soften. Trust me.
2007-06-19 18:07:03 · answer #5 · answered by kim 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be overwhelmingly friendly to them no matter how mean they are, and then they will look like the buttheads.
2007-06-19 18:02:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what makes you think they hate you, Have you done something for them to hate you are fill bad at you, I cant help own these how are they acting....What gives you this impression
2007-06-19 18:45:14 · answer #7 · answered by patricia 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋