Can anyone give me a copy of the monologue?

Question

from "laughing wild" by Christopher Durang

all i kow that it starts like this
"was in the supermarket the other day about to buy some tuna fish ..."

Answer 1

Ah yes, here you have it. (Originally played by the author himself.)
Notes of interest on this production can be found here:
http://www.christopherdurang.com/FullLaughing.htm

Laughing Wild
By Christopher Durang
Act 2, scene 2.
A space in which a talk is about to be given. It could be a lecture hall, a stage, a room, a 'space.'

MAN
I was in the supermarket the other day about to buy some tuna fish when I sensed this very disturbed presence right behind me. There was something about her focus that made it very clear to me that she was a disturbed person. So I thought - well, you should never look at a crazy person directly, so I thought, I'll just keep looking at these tuna fish cans, pretending to be engrossed in whether they're in oil or in water, and the person will then go away. But instead WHAM! She brings her fist down on my head and screams 'would you move, a**hole!' (Pause.)
Now why did she do that? She hadn't even said, 'would you please move' at some point, so I would've known what her problem was. Admittedly I don't always tell people what I want either - like the people in the movie theatres who keep talking, you know, I just give up and resent them -but on the other hand, I don't take my fist and go wham! On their heads! I mean, analyzing it, looking at it in a positive light, this woman probably had some really horrible life story that, you know, kind of, explained how she got to this point in time, hitting me in the supermarket. And perhaps if her life - since birth - had been explained to me, I could probably have made some sense out of her action and how she got there. But even with that knowledge - which I didn't have - it was my head she was hitting, and it's just so unfair. It makes me want to never leave my apartment ever ever again.
(Suddenly he closes his eyes and moves his arms in a circular motion around himself, round and round, soothingly.)
I am the predominant source of energy in my life. I let go of the pain from the past. I let go of the pain from the present. In the places in my body where pain lived previously, now there is light and love and joy.
(He opens his eyes again and looks at the audience peacefully and happily.)
That was an affirmation.

***
I cannot vouch 100% for the veracity of this content –this monologue transcription was posted at the following site and may contain textual errors (I’ve already taken the liberty of cleaning up a few typos and misspellings):
http://www.msu.edu/~prinsen/page4.30.htm

There’s a version of the monologue posted at this site as well, where membership is free if you post a monologue to share:
http://www.monologuesearch.com/index.php

Answer 2

The virgin monologues Sentinels of righteousness would do well to dip into history, culture and of course reality before displaying a Talibanesque attitude to sexuality Prasenjit Chowdhury Kolkata The pillorying of the south Indian actor Khushboo for her call to "virginal" equality of the inverse kind, that is, men not virgins at their marriage should not expect virgin brides any longer, is the stuff of feminism. Several lawsuits dogging her, her being fined by a lower level judge, mobs in thousands throwing trash at her car demonstrate masculine ambivalence towards genital sex. One is at risk to over-sexualise the institution of marriage, if one were to suggest that sex existed (or does exist) only within wedlock. And see things unfolding in Tamil Nadu, a state which had earlier banned a performance of Eve Ensler's celebrated theatre production, The Vagina Monologues which had the other metros in India going gaga. The state had allowed the police to nab hundreds of adult couples in Chennai's Anna Nagar Park and published their pictures in a local newspaper in the manner of "Most Wanted" mug shots. There are a good number of smut films coming from that state, and the pelvic jerks and jousts evidenced in many films from south India do women in Tamil Nadu no image uplift and make even the raunchiest of Hindi films look like candy floss. The abortion rate in Tamil Nadu's cities gives a lie to the vapour bath called "Indian culture" where women, it seems, take relish in premarital sex sans, certainly, the baggage of unwanted pregnancy.

Answer 3

You can buy it at most book stores.