Looking out beyond the haze
Hope
Light
My heart is young again
My dreams blaze before me
As I chase them down the highway
Accelerating for the first time in years
A smile that is real not forced
Because my heart is free
No more bonds
No more chains
Wild and free
Happy again
I am thriving through a loss
That I didn’t know was good for me
What I once thought I couldn’t live without
Has now finally set me free
2007-06-19 17:15:45 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
I like it, very well written. and I would love to feel what your feeling in this poem again.
2007-06-19 17:18:20 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's awesome.
I like the flow of the 5 lines that contain, dreams, highway, accerlerating, forced, and free. They flow real nice.
It could actually be a poem alone.
"My dreams blaze - before me
As I chase them down - the highway
Accelerating for the first time - in years
A smile that is real - not forced
My heart is free"
I don't mean to mess with your poem, this is just what came to mind when I saw it.
Definitely like it though.
2007-06-20 01:43:30 · answer #2 · answered by kennyk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a good attempt - like a good subject and all - but it's disorganized, it's a bunch of gobbledygook - like you are just pouring your feelings out. Poetry is NOT pouring out your feelings -that's what therapy is for - poetry is using words to capture a moment like a camera captures a moment when you take a photograph. - it's the same thing.
2007-06-20 02:07:14 · answer #3 · answered by art_flood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice poem.
An idea. It's XXI century, you can choose to forget rhyming words in order to use the inner music of the words. In my personal point of view, It's chains somewhat poems.
2007-06-20 01:05:05 · answer #4 · answered by Alder_Fiter_Galaz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has no rhyming, but i think even you can agree it is written quite freely. That though didn't bother me as much as the fact that you didn't write more, you were really working through your feelings and cut it in half. Beautiful!!!
2007-06-20 08:33:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two thumbs up
2007-06-20 00:22:20 · answer #6 · answered by bobalo9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it. Its hard to write poems that are optimistic without being cheesy, so great job!
2007-06-20 00:26:34 · answer #7 · answered by BeautifulDisgrace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's ok...a little hard to follow, but I se the meaning in it.
2007-06-20 00:18:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋