A good friend of mine was recently in a car accident and they say her front temporal lobe(?) was injured. Since that time she has been experiencing issues realtated to the love she feels for her family. She has 3 wonderful kids whom she has always been very motherly towards and now she is not even feeling a connection.
She has moved out of her house and only comes to "visit" on a daily basis. Her husband is trying to be understanding but he is very hurt..
My question is has anyone ever heard of this type of injury causing such damage in a persons personal life? And how do you suggest I be a good friend to her? I want to just tell her how selfish I think she is being and to think of her kids before her self but I know that is not fair if she is really dealing with a brain injury.
She has been seeing doctors and therapist about this issue already. Thanks!
2007-06-19 15:56:09 · 12 answers · asked by Rosie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hey don't want to take up all your time. visit www.neuroskills.com they have a good amount of info on the brain and the different injuries and what each part of the brain does what. but seriously visit the site. oops dont want to sound like a sales person, but the internet is a wonderful tool.
anyway hope your friend does well
2007-06-19 16:28:23 · answer #1 · answered by fatchick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to your story. Your husband is a jerk and you are starving for love. You are vulnerable, and living in the lustful, enfatuation period of your relationship with your friend. Would you have found the strength to leave your husband without this man in the picture? You probably should have left him. It's hard to say since I am only hearing your side of the story, and I'm not saying you're lying at all. You just have to be very careful. If you want to stay with your husband, you better not have this guy come our and see you because you two are going to explode into each others arms. You will probably not be able to resist it. Only you can make this decision. I went through some similar turmoil and came out of it committed to my wife more than ever. Something I wouldn't have predicted in the beginning. But, I've learned what I need from my marriage, and where to draw my boundaries, and things are fine now. Your marriage sounds like it was so horrible though, that I'm tempted to tell you to run off with this guy. Go read "Too bad to stay, too good to leave", but also read "His needs, her needs" and especially concentrate on the section about affairs. Good luck.
2016-05-20 02:56:04 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your being HER friend i think you should be understanding, even if you don't understand her motives. Just be supportive and let her know you are there for her , I really would not interfere with her decisions right now. As odd as her behavior is she did suffer and accident and may have all kinds of issues come up do to this , pressure and stress will only increase whatever confusion she is feeling right now, It may actually worsen her situation. This is one of those cases where your friendship is to the test, it would be easy to tell her off and tell her how wrong she is acting, but it would take something much deeper, to show her compassion and no judgments whatsoever in this difficult time.
Read up on her condition go to your local library and see if there are any books on this , Also you may want to go to your community hospital and see if you can speak with a neuro surgeon or Nurse they see so may patients with these conditions they may be able to answer some questions for you. She really needs you now.
Good Luck!
http://www.neuroskills.com/tbi/btemporl.shtml
2007-06-19 16:09:16 · answer #3 · answered by Magic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one of those situations that only the person it is happening to truly knows how they feel. I've never heard of this, but then again, I've never known anyone with a brain injury. This may take time. Even if she never gets back the feelings she had for her family, she can develop new feelings like someone who has amnesia can start over and create new memories. The fact that she's visiting so often is wonderful.
2007-06-19 16:04:14 · answer #4 · answered by The Naughty Librarian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing I am very sure on is that when you have an injury or surgery to your temporal lobe, you will suffer from some sort of memory problems, depending on how bad the injury. As her questions re her past or marriage as a little test for you, so you are able to gage how bad she is with her memory ok. Once you know how bad her memory is, maybe work on her, getting her to try and remember things. I also wouldn't judge her at this moment, because you have no idea where she is at in life, so just be there for her and try to be supportive for her. Cheers and good luck.
2007-06-19 16:06:01 · answer #5 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is so odd that I found this question today, as I had just seen a story similar to this one on the "Discover Health Channel". It was about a man who was married and had two children who he adored! He was in a car accident and had significant damage to his front lobe and lost all feelings of love and compassion for his friends and family. He could no longer love his children and became very distant to them. He and his wife had not been together sexually since the accident and the story was done 2 years after the injury. They were still married as she wanted to stand by her husband but it was no longer a true marriage. Listening to them explain what their life was like was very sad and almost frightening to hear. Realizing that it was possible just like that was scary to come to terms with and I wasn't even involved in the situation. The women explained that she really had to grieve the husband that she had before the accident, since he wasn't really there anymore. He was a completely different person. She said she had to grieve him like he died (even with him standing in front of her) and learn about the new one. She explained that in a lot of ways they live more like roommates then husband and wife. He has no love or compassion for his wife or children. He knows who they are and that they are his children but (I know this sounds bad, but these are his words) "I really couldn't care less about them.." Harsh huh?
They didn't really have any advice for people in this situation and I have very little. I would suggest you do an Internet search and learn as much as you can about it and share it with her husband. There is no way you can be there for her if you don't have a full understanding of what is going on, and the same thing goes for him. After that, you just have to tell her that you will be there for her if she needs you, even if she doesn't seem to care.
I really don't know what else to say and all I keep thinking about are the poor children who in a sense lost their mother. That must be so hard for them to process. I do suggest that the entire family go to a therapist (find one who understands her condition) that way they all can get help in understanding what is going on. Even if she wont go, it would be beneficial for the husband and children to find that help.
Good luck to your friend and her family. She is now in my prayers. Good for you for wanting to be there for your friend.
-Brit
2007-06-19 18:14:25 · answer #6 · answered by Positively Pink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a matter of fact damage to the pre-frontal lobe of the brain stands a good chance of impairing or adversely affecting emotional responses and impulse control, and there are no guarantees that that person will ever become the person they were before. No one is to blame for this tragic set of circumstances, and all that can be done in this case is accomplished through efforts that are already underway (medically and psychologically). Remember them in your prayers and be supportive to the extent that it's possible. That represents the best that can be done as things now stand.
2007-06-19 16:07:38 · answer #7 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree..how bizzare.. I've heard of it only in movies lol. i have however had a friend involved ina terrible accident after which she was a completely different person, it sent her into a early mid life crisis, she left her husband and kids and resumed her life as if she were a teenager. Eventually after counselling and so on she had gotten whatever was in her system out and with hard work started pieces her life back together.. Sorry i couldn't be of more help, what a prediciment your in. Good luck with it. Remember (although it may be really hard) try not to judge her, that won't aid her in her recovery.
2007-06-19 16:04:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have no idea, but maybe the front temporal lobe has something to do with emotion, or memory or something
are you sure the accident didn't trigger something that would cause her to become emotionless, or forget eniterly about what her family is?
If it's merely a physical injury, she should heal pretty soon, and try to get her back to the loving person she was
i know my answer was kinda vague...but i hope that it works out for her family, and her..and you
2007-06-19 16:02:32 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've experienced this with family members, its extremely emotionally painful for the injured person and their loved ones. I also work in a mental hospital and we see the results of severe head trauma a lot. Just try to be supportive of her and her family, really try to be there for her children, even though its sounds as if you have enough of your own to deal with. I'll add her and her family to my prayer list and my church prayer list. Good Luck
2007-06-19 16:16:25 · answer #10 · answered by seniorchiefretired 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋