Can you write an amusing paragraph or 2 or more that includes these random movie quotes?

Question

1. Up is down? Well, that's just maddenly unhelpful.
2. I was adorable once. Young and full of hope. Now, look at me. I'm a short, fat, insecure, middle aged thing!
3. You get what you settle for.
4, Your life, on the other hand, is like this box of ACTIVE GRENADES!
5. A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
6. 'Neat.' What are you, 12 years old?

Answer 1

It was another boring day to fill up with useless activities!!
As usual I had arrived at my best friend Bunny's house at 9 AM, carrying some freshly made corn muffins and a morning paper. She had just completed her morning workout which she did EVERYDAY like clockwork, with "Pierre LaFeau the Exercise Guru" on Chanel 9. She was full of energy and happy to see me.
"You just HAVE to try my new toy" she exclaimed, grabbing me and dragging me out to the back porch. She jumped up onto a little round trampoline that was about three feet across, and started jumping up and down. "Neat" I said, "What are you, 12 years old now?" She was twisting and bouncing and her long hair was flying in the breeze. "NO,NO, it's not for kids,it's called a "rebounder" its for us old people, it's fun, wanna try it?"
"Not unless you know CPR", I said. She jumped off smiling,and we walked into the house. She plopped her bony butt onto the couch while I made coffee. "I was adorable like you once, young and full of hope. Now look at me. I'm a short, fat, insecure middle aged thing!"
She glared at me. "You are NOT!!, I happen to think you're still very pretty". I laughed out loud. "How come all of us fat girls always have "such a pretty face", don't even get me started on that ..."Oh , she's SO pretty, too bad she's so damn humongous!!!!"!! I was thinking "Thank God I'm not ugly too, that would be TOO much!!!!
"Nonsense" she declared. "You have Harry, he's so devoted to you". I thought of Harry and our loveless, sexless, pointless relationship."Bunny, a relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? And I think that when it comes to Harry, what we got on our hands is a dead shark"!!!!
She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well. you get what you settle for". She said, polishing off her third corn muffin.
I was still nibbling on my first seeing the fat calories ring up like a cash register with each bite.
"Now your life on the other hand is like this box of active hand grenades. You have this great big house free and clear, tons of boyfriends at your beck and call, a fabulous bod, and me as your best friend, girl you've got it all!!!
She smiled. "That's what YOU think. I actually envy YOU, you have a beautiful daughter and a great husband who loves you no matter what,... me, I don't know what's up and what's down. Today things are down, tomorrow they may be up!"
It was my turn to say "Nonsense". I swatted her with a towel.
"I don't think you know the difference between down and up" She smiled. You mean up is down? Or is down up? You're just maddeningly unhelpful!! I think you're trying to confuse me!!!!
She finished off the last of the muffins and we moved on to bigger and better things, like discussing why I couldn't lose an ounce of weight!!!! She talked me into trying the rebounder.........wish me luck!!!!!!!

Answer 2

As I look back on my life, it occurs to me that you get what you settle for. I mean, I was adorable once, young & full of hope. Now, look at me. I'm a short, fat, insecure middle aged thing! Well, I'm really not that short or fat, but I have developed the "middle-age spread".
I remember this sweet young thing once. I think her name was Betty. Anyway, we'd been dating for about a month, when she said to me, "A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark". "Wow, that's neat!", I said, "Where do you come up with these things?" "Neat?", she replied, "What are you, 12 years old? Come on, I'm being serious! Don't get me wrong. We've had some good times together. But my life is so confusing right now. It's like black is white, left is right & up is down". I came back with, "Up is down? Well, that's just maddeningly unhelpful! My life has been pretty good lately, especially this past month. Your life, on the other hand, is like this box of ACTIVE GRENADES!" "I'm sorry", said Betty, "but I need some time alone". And so, she walked right out of my life.
I think about her now & then & I wonder what she's doing & what I might've done differently. Ah, yes. Isn't hindsight a wonderful thing?

Answer 3

A relationship is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark. No offense, mind you.
I was adorable once. Young and full of hope. Now, look at me. I'm a short,fat, insecure, middle aged thing. Your life, on the other hand, is like this box of ACTIVE GRENADES....?.
What are you thinking! Where did you get these? NO!! I AM NOT IMPRESSED! Excuse me...but you don't impress me much!
Yes, I realize that opposites attract, but you say Up is down? Well, that's just maddenly unhelpful. Can't you see...there is no attraction between us, as far as I am concerned.
Oh Neat. 'What are you, 12 years old? Now get.....I am not your type, nor you mine. You get what you settle for...now..
go find yourself a young, full of hope 12 year old girl.

Answer 4

A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark. . The shark tells me that, "Up is down?" Well, that's just maddenly unhelpful.
He goes on to say, "Your life, on the other hand, is like this box of ACTIVE GRENADES! Isn't that neat?"
I answered, " What are you, 12 years old?
Sadly, I remembered how I was adorable once. Young and full of hope. Now, look at me. I'm a short, fat, insecure, middle aged thing! Oh well, they say, "You get what you settle for."

Answer 5

Giovanni flashed a smile to Bruno and Alara as he entered their living room. He stared at them with affection for a few seconds before throwing himself on the sofa across the coach they were snuggled in.
They were bickering in their playful and teasing way again, and observing them was like watching back to back episodes of "Everybody loves Raymond", sometimes making you cringe in empathy, but mostly making you laugh.

Alara was talking in her typical passionate and animated way when she finally gave an exasperated sigh and exclaimed,"(1)Up is down? Well, that's just maddenningly helpful!, don't you think Gio?"

Giovanni was used to getting suckered into their little debates, so he said, "I missed the beginning of this wonderful conversation, but I just want you guys to know that, most people out there are living a depressed life of monotonous daily activites, stuck in relationships where people have run out of things to say to eachother. (4)Your life, on the other hand, is like this box of ACTIVE GRENADES! Never a dull moment, never running out of conversation material, and certainly never ever boring! I envy you, I wish Carla and I had ten percent of the fire, you guys have in your relationship, but I guess (3) you get what you settle for."

Alara rolled her eyes and said, "Oh Giovanni, you always whine about you and Carla losing the spark in your relationship, yet everytime she plans out a boat trip, or a picnic you seem to weasel your way out of it." She turned to Bruno and said, "Last time she had planned a day of trips to the museum and purchasing some souveniers to hand out as party favors for the charity event she has been organizing, and in the last minute Giovanni got out of it, saying he tends to get claustrophobic in the museums and that his attention span is too short to dedicate the entire day to touring the museums and actually appreciating it."

Bruno cast a look towards Giovanni with a barely suppressed smile and said,"(6)Neat. What are you, 12 years old?"

That friendly teasing remark was enough to put Giovanni in his whiney state- not that he needed an excuse for it,"(2)I was adorable once, Young and full of hope. Now, look at me,. I'm short,fat, insecure,middle aged thing!"

Carla got up to her feet saying,"That's it, I'm going to go make some frozen margaritas and we will all talk about relationship issues and solve the world's problems"

Bruno also stood up and threw a couple of logs in to the fire place and watched the serene and soothing dance of the flames for awhile, and while his gaze was still fixed on the fire, he said to Giovanni,"Maybe you enjoy taking the role of the whining one and have Carla mother you,Gio. Though, for the life of me, I don't see how on earth that would ever turn any woman on!"

Giovanni gave a frustrated exclaim- he was a bit theatrical that way-," You guys are just refusing to understand! Carla and I are way past the stage where we try to turn eachother on. (5) A relationship is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark."

Bruno and Alara glanced at eachother and held eachother's gaze for a moment, then they both simultaneously burst into laughter. Gio could be such a drama king, sometimes. Yet. they loved him dearly.

Answer 6

play it again, sam

Answer 7

Sure, I could do that. Now, why don't you try it?