I find that every time I talk to certain people (brother, cousin), I feel down about my life in general. They tend to be very blunt and sometimes abrasive.
I have decided not to talk about my personal life to them in particular. They don't understand what I am going through and are not very empathetic.
Has anyone else experienced this?
My cousin keeps reminding me of my mistakes and can be very rude at times.
My brother just refuses when I ask him for help.
2007-06-19 14:39:57 · 18 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You aren't wrong! There are some people that just aren't helpful. They suck you dry.
One of life's painful lessons is learning to whom you can talk about your hopes and dreams. Some people dream crush; or they refuse to see you as you are now, they see you as you were before.
I had a friendship that I had to end recently because this person brought me down emotionally over and over again. I felt bad about it, but the psychic exchange wasn't worth it at all for me, in the end.
Protect your energy, and realize it's not you they are reacting to; it's their own silly judgements and comfort zones.
2007-06-19 14:42:33 · answer #1 · answered by pola 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people are very trying or downers. Maybe your brother doesn't know how to help you. As for your rude cousin, he sounds like he isn't too bright or kind. Cousins are easier to avoid than brothers. Just work on yourself. If you feel a counselor would help do that. They objective and have a desire to help you.It's what they are paid for and they have to train a lot before they get that license.
I think the choice not to talk to them about personal stuff is a good one.
So what are you doing in your life? Take a good look at it, see what you want to change and learn to reach out. Make some friends and do things you like to do. Search for joy and beauty in your life.
Good Luck!
2007-06-19 21:49:14 · answer #2 · answered by plaplant8 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe it can be mentally unhealthy to talk with anyone. The mind needs exercise to stay healthy, and talking with some people (such as the ones you described) can give it a real work out. If you are prone to let negative attitudes and words get to you and you take it personally then it may be best for you to avoid conversing with such people, BUT if you work at being the one influencing the moods of others instead of being influenced by them, I believe that talking to such people can become a fun challenge. The key is knowing that this negativity belongs to them, not you. No matter what they say to pin it on you it will only stick if you let it. People with these attitudes tend to be like this with everyone, so it has nothing to do with you personally. You also have to love yourself, no matter what anyone says to put you down. In your everyday life it is best to surround yourself with positive people, but whenever you feel up to the challenge take on a conversation with your brother or cousin. It could be good for you AND them.
2007-06-19 22:07:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES!!!!!! people with what I call poison personality's are defiantly not good for you. Here is a list of people to stay away from 1, people who put you down.2 people who are only your friend when you are helping them.people who demand that you accept their opinion as your own. 4 people who talk negative about everyone and everything. These people will suck the very life out of you and when there is nothing left to give they drop you like an old shoe and move on to their next victim.
2007-06-19 21:55:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it can be unhealthy to talk to some people:
Nobody likes a negative person. Listening to complaints from someone with a pessimistic, mud-slinging, doom and gloom attitude can drain your energy, push your patience to the limit, and impact your mental and physical health.
If someone who's close to you is consistently negative, you'll want to do something to help them change their attitude. That's because you can see what they can't: that their comments and actions are negatively impacting their career and hurting their interpersonal relationships.
Yet even if the negative person in your life is only a casual acquaintance or colleague, you may still need to address the issue. After all, their negativity can be both exhausting and can impact your own work and personal life. Take action to change their attitude, or you may find their negative mentality rubbing off on you -- making you become cynical and pessimistic, too.
2007-06-19 21:45:36 · answer #5 · answered by ohmygosh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay away from these people, they are emotional vampires sucking the life out of you, everyone has them. I grew up dancing and I'm very artistic and all everyone ever told me is that I would never amount to anything and that artist starve to death and it is not true. I had to cut people out of my life that were negative but some of them asked me why, and I told them why, and atleast with those people I'm able to have a loving but distant relationship with. We didn't need to speak to each other everyday. As for the others that didn't realize there was a problem even when I told them there was a problem, they are gone, in some cases dead to me because they were slowly killing me with their negativity. It is like a cancer and it has to be cut away.
Try the same thing I did, tell them there is a problem and if they respond, try to work it out, if they don't then cut them out.
2007-06-19 21:47:47 · answer #6 · answered by NANCY J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you so I think you should find someone to talk but it might take time and is a matter of luck. I mean you might find some friends or good teachers or great counsellor whom you can trust and are happy to talk on your problem. From my experience, I've known a lot of people I ,ight evade when I knew it's a waste of time meeting and having a chat; they and I simply couldn't get along each other well enough to agree or diagree frankly and nobly on the issue. In brief, I think it's a matter of luck to find and have some good colleagues to consult when you have any trouble in the name of the common saying, "A friend indeed is a friend in need."
2007-06-19 21:52:48 · answer #7 · answered by Arigato ne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i have some people in my life like this. there could be lots of reason for the indifferences. either they care alot about you and you cant own up to the mistakes you make or they are just one track minded. some people give advice on things even though they have never been there and yes i agree they may lack empathy. also maybe your personalities arent compatable. eve been reading alot of chinese astrology and its amazing how accurate it has been . its shown me that some people just naturally cant get along and in a way this makes me feel better because i know its not me.
if you ever need to talk ill be open minded.
2007-06-19 22:28:02 · answer #8 · answered by solas lethe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
I have experienced the same thing!
I think the best thing is to just ignore them. Everyone makes mistakes, even ur cousin must have made some mistakes, so u r not the only one. If u feel uncomfortable talking to them, then don't talk too much with them. Talk to ur friends, or parents, whoever u feel good with.
2007-06-19 21:43:51 · answer #9 · answered by K.P. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think energy can be contagious-whether visible or invisible, but what are you going to do think of them as having cooties? If I wasn't aware of what it was, Mania tries to get my attention I don't know how to help it though; some people just seem to get overelated about things where I'm really indifferent. Sounds like a Jesus and Magdalene kind of thing
2007-06-19 22:02:26 · answer #10 · answered by isis 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋