ok so two of my friends are fighting with eachother.. It's kind of hard to hang around either of them because if I hang out with one, the other will get mad that I am doing so..What should I tell them? (something that Dr. Phil would say =p)
2007-06-19 14:37:46 · 28 answers · asked by Danielle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Don't be in the middle ... let them work it out or allow yourself to tell them both the way you feel about the situation. If they won't listen then I would kinda distance myself from them for maybe 2 days.
They should respect you for your opinion.
r
2007-06-19 14:42:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell them each individually and perhaps even while they are in the same room as each other,
"Listen, I know you guys are going through some things right now, but this is something that needs to be resolved between the two of you. Both of you are very important to me and I would really hate to lose either of you as a friend. I would hope that each of you values my friendship enough to leave me out of this and respect my decision to remain neutral in the situation. I would like to still hang out with both of you, and since this has nothing to do with me, you need to respect that and try to understand when I hang out with the other person. "
Good luck!
2007-06-19 21:42:47 · answer #2 · answered by April 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were me, I wouldn't hang out with either of them if they were making me feel guilty. You cannot control how they feel, but if their feelings are hurting you, then you can control whether you are going to spend time with these friends.
As for what you should say to them, I would make it clear that if they want to hang out with you, then they cannot talk about the other friend behind their back. You should also make it clear that you plan on hanging out with both of them, so they can either accept it or not.
I suppose the bottom line is you need to decide if you want to remain friends with these people. If this is going to be an ongoing problem, I would personally cut ties and move on. Life's too short.
2007-06-19 21:45:05 · answer #3 · answered by davemb78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had this problem sooo many times with my friends! Just tell them that if they can't get along then you won't hang out with either of them. If they are true friends then they will resolve the fight with eachother....if they don't then you will see that your friendship with them doesn't mean alot and save yourself a lot of trouble in the future.
2007-06-19 21:43:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind them of what they are fighting about. Ask them if it will matter in 30 years. Also let them know that you dont want it to get in the way of your friendship. Tell both of them that they need to make up because you dont want to get stuck in the middle. Or say that you will not choose sides, and you will continue to hang out with them as you normally would.
2007-06-19 21:42:33 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell the both of them that if they don't cut the crap and grow up, you're not going to be friends with either of them. They're probably fighting about something ridiculous and are just trying to manipulate you into choosing sides. Find some mature friends.
2007-06-19 21:42:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that you will have to choose if they don't stop fighting. That you like both of them and you cherish their friendship but that you can't take the fighting anymore and you shouldn't' have to. Do you really like them the same, you know what they say, three is a crowd, so maybe you should see which one is always starting the fights and if nothing can be done well then tell her bye bye..
good luck
2007-06-19 21:41:15 · answer #7 · answered by johanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that you don't want to get involved in their petty little feud and if they can't accept that you are still friends with both of them, neither will have the pleasure of your company until they sort out their problems.
When they start making comments about the other, simply put a stop to it by saying "so and so is my friend, and I'm not going to listen to you talk badly about them".
2007-06-19 21:44:47 · answer #8 · answered by Justin H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two of you can continue to waste time being mad at each other if you want, but I have a life to live and right now it is free of anger , vindication and revenge-so if you tow can avoid me in the middle of the madness, I can hang with you,but if not call me when the drama ends.
2007-06-19 21:41:29 · answer #9 · answered by Arene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that your not taking sides cause you don't want to make the argument worse than it is now. If they're not satisfied with that answer and your fed up with this then just stay away from them for a couple of days until you know that the arguments a bit cooled down, then check up with them to see whats happening.
2007-06-19 21:54:16 · answer #10 · answered by TutorGurl' _ <3 ;; 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay netural! that's the best thing to do and HOPE that they resolve their conflicts. You can help them by getting them together to talk it out but if they refuse then just stay out of it. Hang out with other friends, read a book do something other than worrying about them. If this doesn't blow over, then you should still be friends with both of them, just hang out with both of them alone. Also, resist the urge to gossip about one friend to the other, or the opportunity to jump into their feud. This ALWAYS backfires.
2007-06-19 21:44:31 · answer #11 · answered by JJjetplane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋