I live with my boyfriend (he owns the house) and I help him with the bills. He makes more and easiest money that me. So when i ask him for something he does not want to give it to me because i work! but when he has to give money to his exes for the kids he has with them he doesn't have a problem, even if it is a ridiculous amount.
i pay cable, internet, phone, water, food shopping. He pays just 39% of the mortgage because he rents an studio uptairs. he also pays the electric+gas bill. I still have to pay all my personal expenses. my cell, hair, nails, lunch at work, so what that heck is he good for?
He has a car but he uses mine (hooptie). He drops me off at work everyday. He has crashed my car on a side twice! (he said will fix it), putting a lot of miles on the car. so i said i need a new and reliable car and i just wanted him to help me with the downpayment. guess the answer he gave me NO! and believe me there is more drama in our realtionship this is only the economics
2007-06-19
14:25:05
·
37 answers
·
asked by
misslatina
2
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was pregnant by him(had misscarriage) and didn't helped me with the expenses. He has mad money in the bank. He also has cheated on me, has hit me, yelled at me.
i understand those are his kids and understand he has to support them, but i don't like him to give the baby mother a lot of extra moeny that i know she wil spend it on her self not the kid.
i'm not inmature. But I know what i'm worth and that is why there are so many man out there that don't treat the woman as thet deserve because we are the ones that don't get this to our head. i'm worth a lot. i deserve better. this woman accept whatever the men wants or want to play the independat role, if i want to be independant i stay by myself do whatever i want. I don't even go out because he doesn't like it
I cook for him, clean the house, good sex, give him love.
I added this note because i think some people missunderstood me
2007-06-19
14:52:44 ·
update #1
I'm not sure what answer you are looking for here. If you aren't married, and you have no kids with him, and you are totally unhappy, why are you with him in the first place? You say you deserve better than what he has to offer, so dump him and look for a guy that treats you with the respect you deserve. He just seems to keep you around for entertainment value anyway. He's all take and no give, but you already know that, so why stick around? Take the miscarriage as a message from God telling you he's not the one for you and leave. You already pretty much pay your own way, so you should be able to afford something on your own.
2007-06-19 15:11:05
·
answer #1
·
answered by ? 6
·
0⤊
0⤋
I live with my boyfriend too and he also owns the house and rents out part of it. He pays a small part of the mortgage each month, and the bills. I pay for all the food shopping, the water bill, all kitchen and bathroom supplies, and home purchases (towels, bedding, decorations...) along with my own personal bills, car, insurance, cell, gym, and so own. I also do all the chores, the laundry, errands, and keep the house in constant pristine condition. I feel like I earn my keep. And I work full time as well. I think it is important that we both contribute to the household and the relationship, even if it is in different ways.
I feel that since he owns the house and has the mortgage paid off almost in full every month (from the tenant) that this is a fair situation. I have offered him rent and he tells me he doesn't want it. Plus if we ever break up he obviously still keeps the house and would still have to pay the same amount of money every month in bills.
I think if you are planning a future together then it should be an equal divide. Since you are obviously not happy I think you should think about it and discuss it with your family and friends. Maybe you should move out and then see if he misses you so much and realizes all you do for him.
2007-06-19 14:56:02
·
answer #2
·
answered by ellebee 2
·
0⤊
0⤋
Depends on what you think is fair and i also think you need to read your post 5 times over, with an open mind.
Money is just money, but it's just how people treat it or use it that makes it such a good or evil thing. I handed over my pay to my bf every single week because his ex left him in so much debt but now we are married with kids, it's him who hands his pay over evey week so i can use it to live. The problem doesn't really lay in the money, can you see that? the problem is he seems like a selfish person and money is just all part of that. Some people are extremely wound up in the dollar and if it's a big issue now then you can bet it will still be a big issue in 5 years. What would happen if you were home looking after his baby? would he see you taken care of? Also look beyond the money and is he selfish in other ways? or is he your rock when you are down? These are all things you need to ask yourself.
2007-06-19 15:23:09
·
answer #3
·
answered by Shazela 3
·
0⤊
0⤋
Well, for someone who thinks they deserve better, you're sure getting the short end of the stick! The reason why you are getting less is because you are putting yourself in a position to get less. You're short-changing yourself by being in a live-in situation. It's difficult for a man to fully respect a woman and want to be fully committed when she easily gives it up by playing married. You're too easy! He doesn't have to work at being with you. You're willing to cook, clean, give him sex, pay almost all his bills, let him use your car. Geez girl, is it any wonder he treats his ex's better? Do you notice that the other women in his life got him to marry them and do you notice that they are the one's getting the cash? Ask yourself how did they do that?
2007-06-19 15:07:17
·
answer #4
·
answered by Sondra 6
·
0⤊
0⤋
Seriously? I'm surprised he puts up with you. You only live together, that means you split everything pay wise and you each pay for your own personal stuff (nails, hair, etc.). Why should he buy you those things? He uses your car but he also takes you to work. If you don't like it, tell him you will drive yourself and let him drive his car. You are expecting way too much from just living with someone. He has no responsibility to take care of you. You are an adult, you have a job, so live within your means. As for his kids, he has to pay for them, he created them. You are being so selfish and inconsiderate. He should dump you and find a decent woman who will not look at him like a paycheck. If you think that is all he is good for and he isn't cutting it, cut him loose, let him find a "real" woman.
2007-06-19 14:38:10
·
answer #5
·
answered by Anonymous
·
2⤊
1⤋
I think so, Many couples choose to have separate finances because they incur quite a few individual expences (nails, hair etc). This is fine as long as your meeting a half way point with shared expences.
I can imagine he doesnt mind spending so much on the kids because they are his kids, naturally you would want the best for them, to spoil them etc.
It really depends on what you want from the relationship, i mean do you want a sugar daddy, or do you want someone to love? Because these 2 rarely come in hand to hand
2007-06-19 14:36:36
·
answer #6
·
answered by ChAtMaN 4
·
4⤊
0⤋
No your trying to be real. Unfornatunely you guys got a classical relationship were your just seen as the opposite sex, not really friends, so conflict is going to happen. If you guys can try and honestly open up with your intention, motivation, fears, and hopes, maybe something can come of this. But geeze just classic strangers in love drama.....
2007-06-19 14:31:40
·
answer #7
·
answered by Brutal Honesty 7
·
1⤊
0⤋
Maybe you're just not right for each other. One thing's for sure, get the money issue solved, or you're in for a real treat if you end up married. I think if you're in a committed relationship, even if just living together, then you should split things evenly...and each try to pull your load, but if the other needs to help more or less at different times, then they should, if they really want to be with that person, and really care. A dollar should not be a major issue when it comes to love, and if it is.....then...Houston, we have a problem!
2007-06-19 14:32:39
·
answer #8
·
answered by Anonymous
·
2⤊
1⤋
Yes, you are expecting more than your status calls for.
He is not obligated to give you money and you have no say in how he spends his money, particularly on his kids. The household bills you pay at most evens out the rent you would have to pay.
Then you are pretty dumb to let him drive and crash your car and not fix it. He should fix your car but is not obligated to help you out with a new car. He is a frugal guy and he outplays you on every dollar and cent. And he gets free rides. Good for him.
2007-06-19 14:31:50
·
answer #9
·
answered by Sir Richard 5
·
3⤊
1⤋
well you have showed him how to treat you.
you pay the bills and that is why he is not giving.
you should pay only 1/2 or a percent of bills
as far as your car goes, you showed him it is OK to crash it without any payment or consequences.
why don't you drive his car?
either you can discuss some guidelines that he must meet for you to continue to stay in this relationship.
otherwise, you need to move on.
2007-06-19 14:55:29
·
answer #10
·
answered by llanna 3
·
0⤊
0⤋