My wife was taking a walk while pregnant with our twins and was hit by a car. We lost the twins and she was injured pretty bad. I actually have two questions. The first is what can I do to reasure her that the death of the twins is not her fault. She continues to blame herself for the accident, what can I do to make sure she doesn't fall into a depression?
My second question is, she's been in the hospital for a week now and she hasn't seen our other two kids(2 and 3 months) since the accident and it is hell for her to be away from them. She's been begging me to let her come home and as much as I want to, I don't know if I should. We can afford to have a nurse and whatever we need for her to be at home and monitored. So, should I let her come home?
Only serious answers please!
2007-06-19 12:50:34 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I talked to the doctor about bringing the kids who are 2 years and 3 months old and said that it would be possible especially because of the situation to bring them, but she doesn't want them to see her in a hospital bed. I've tried to bring them down once but she just refused to let them see her like this.
2007-06-19 13:04:02 · update #1
I know it sounds impossible, but we do have a 3 month old daughter and she was almost 2 months pregnant with the twins when she was hit.
2007-06-19 13:08:06 · update #2
I don't think she should be allowed out of the hospital until she is perfectly healthy again. I am sorry for your loss on the twins. To help her through that you just have to be there for her and keep reassuring her that the accident wasn't her fault. As for your young children, bring them to the hospital once or twice so that she can see them. It would make her happy.
2007-06-19 12:55:00 · answer #1 · answered by Lillian M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why you wouldn't let her come home? You should seek some professional guidance on this as it affects your whole family.
First you need to continue to be loving and supportive. She has been through a doubly traumatic experience. She needs to heal both physically and mentally. COming home could be the first step for both recovery and especially to reconnect to your children.
She needs to acknowledge that the past has happened and can't be changed, no matter who was at fault (and I would imagine the car was the larger fault). and that the future with you and your kids can still be wonderful and loving.
Also, I don't know what religion you are but some have a ceremony for lost, unborn children (eg. from accident, miscarriage, etc.) These can be helpful to bring closure and allow you both to move on. (yes I would also check to see how you yourself are really dealing with this, right now you may be so worried about her that your own feelings havent surfaced.)
2007-06-19 13:07:01 · answer #2 · answered by shazam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Serious question for you.
How can you have a 2 month old and a 3 month old child at the sametime? And, exactly how pregnant could she be with twins if you have a 2 month old. Your story has holes.
Easy fix, your wife was hit by a car, she did not hit the car with her body. Big difference. Car to blame, not wife.
2007-06-19 13:00:22 · answer #3 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so very sorry for your loss. First have you gotten a attorney? Next, there is little you do about your wife's depression your self. She is going to need help with this from a professional. then you need to bring her home, if she is physically able, for her sake and the children. Do you have a pastor? He can help. An attorney can get you help with a home nurse, and getting your wife the help she will need. Also remember that the longer you make her stay away from home the more she will think that you blame her. Go get her NOW. And reinforce that it wasn't her fault. I wish you well.
2007-06-19 13:11:40 · answer #4 · answered by Saint 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could you possibly talk to the doctors and see if you can bring the babies in for a brief moment?
Is she receiving visitors? Maybe a visit from a best friend or mother.
Maybe a priest or minister could sit with her and talk to her or more likely listen to her for comfort.
Just continue to reassure her how much you love her, and if she wants to talk about the incident, let her....if she can't talk about it she will definitely bottle it up and get depressed. There is no wrong thing to say....just keep helping her get well and she will be home in no time.
I am very sorry for your loss and I hope your wife is home soon.
2007-06-19 12:58:17 · answer #5 · answered by wildbeagle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant keep her in the hospital forever and besides going home may be the best medicine for her. She has a maternal responsibility to the other kids and they may help her to heal. Talk with the hospital pyschologist and see what they say to do and they are best equipped to help her work thru her feelings here. Sorry to hear about the twins and good luck
2007-06-19 12:58:31 · answer #6 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! i am so sorry that this happened. my prayers and thoughts go out to you and your family.
i would just be there with open arms and talk to her and help hher get through this, self blame is common in a situation like this, its hard. but just keep telling her that it wasnt her fault she will eventually get it. she probably will be depressed maybe some counciling might help, she may need it. with the children thing, its hard to be away.......if she is ready to go home and the doctors ok it i would allow her too, but i would monitor her to make sure that she is doing what she is supposed to do and that she is not getting really depressed. but if she is not ready to go home then why dont you bring the children one at a time to her to see them and that way it will help put a smile on her face and will make her feel better.
good luck. soo sorry
2007-06-19 12:58:06 · answer #7 · answered by jelly_bean_19_69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is well enough to come home, then that is the best place for her. It will be better for her and for your other children. See if the hospital can arrange for some grief counseling for your family.
Do you mean that your other children are 2 and 3 years? Not 2 and 3 months?
2007-06-19 12:56:01 · answer #8 · answered by Schwinn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
judging by your previous questions you have a lot going on there. Wife was pregnant got into an accident, you have a 2 and three month old and according to your previous questions they were due to viloence? and only in a total of 7 months..you need help too I am surprized you are keeping it together. the months dont add up though
2007-06-19 13:09:17 · answer #9 · answered by giveu2tictacs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she needs to be around her other 2 kids and you right now and if you can afford a nurse then it should be okay if she comes home to be with you and the children right now, she needs you's to be close now because of the loss of the twins. My Deepest Sympathy, thank God your wife's okay! God Bless!!
2007-06-19 13:03:19 · answer #10 · answered by 24Special 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋