Obviously no one wins from having an alcoholic in the home, but who do you believe are the victims most often? Why do you believe their suffering is the more pronounced? Thx.
2007-06-19 12:15:03 · 17 answers · asked by waldguy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My mother is an alcoholic. I grew up with it, I have seen my brothers sisters, father, grandmother aunts and uncles suffer from the effects of an alcoholic and I have suffered myself. In different ways but it's suffering all the same. When I grew up and moved in with my kids dad, he too was an alcoholic. So I have seen it from a partners point of view and a childs point of view.
The only difference is, as a child i had no option but to put up with it. As an adult, I had the choice of leaving. And I did. My children now do not have to put up with the childhood I had. Therefore, I believe it is the children as they have no choice but to live with it. They put up with being picked on at school, embarrassed by their parents drunkeness, frightened to take friends home incase their parent is on the shot. They go without because all the money is being spent on alcohol, whereas another adult has the options, a child does not. They suffer in silence.
They say alcoholism is an illness, and no-one has a right to tell another adult (the alcoholic) how to live their life. True.
However, as true as it may be, I saw it as this: I have no right to tell another adult how to behave but I do have the right to live my own life in peace.
That is what I do now. I have moved on from that and met a wonderful man who doesn't drink and my life is good. But all said and done, it made me the person i am now.
Even now when I visit my mother she is so out of it she doesn't realise I am there. I don't take my kids to see her because I don't want them to witness what I did, so they have lost out on a grandmother. Definately children who suffer the most. They are the ones without choices.
I drink socially - at weddings, etc but I don't drink in the house and I don't go on nights out getting drunk. And I never drink in front of my children.
2007-06-19 12:40:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the alcoholic is one of the parents in the house i believe it will cause the children to suffer more. the reason i think so is because the adults are more mentaly able to handle a situation like that. and already have their own habbits as for a child, they are still developing their habbits and what theythey may not know the difference between right and wrong. how to comprehend what is going on. and they see there mother/father drinking so much that the kid may think that its an okay thing (wen its not) and end up taking up the same habbits. children are the most voulnerable when it comes to these kind of situations.
2007-06-19 19:24:38 · answer #2 · answered by emily k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The children~
They only know life from the perspective that their parents afford them.
It's more subtle than being beaten.
It's learning how to manipulate, how to argue to win (not to debate fairly), how to make others responsible for your issues, how to distract yourself from pain rather than facing it, how to determine who owes you and how to collect, exactly how long to hold a grudge... the list goes on and on.
Even if a child doesn't grow up to drink, which normally isn't the way it works, those survival skills that were necessary in the home come with them into new relationships.
CHILDREN can even be convinced that brutality is a given, a living, a right: and that will taint every potentially healthy relationship if it doesn't destroy it before it begins.
2007-06-19 23:51:00 · answer #3 · answered by Jenny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a simple one to answer. Everyone in the family suffers...the abuser, the spouse/gf/bf/, the kids, moms and dads....everyone. The abuser suffers b/c he can not control his actions and his drinking, the spouse suffers b/c they are going thru it with them and they feel helpless on what they can or should do to help the one they love, the kids suffer b/c they see what it is doing to their parents and their family. When someone is suffering from alcohol abuse, there really is no easy way to help them, they have to help themselves....no one can do it for them. They have to want help for them.
2007-06-19 19:22:25 · answer #4 · answered by Latino Heat 4ever 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The children are the worst victims. They can't defend themselves and the impact lasts for the rest of their life. Adults have choices but not children. Children model after their parents so the chance for them to become the same way is much higher.
2007-06-19 19:20:15 · answer #5 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the abuser is the man then the wife suffers more, she has to try and protect her children, protect the home . She has to watch the alcholic like a small child.
2007-06-19 19:19:39 · answer #6 · answered by skeeter195848 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Anyone connected to someone who abuses alcohol suffers.
2007-06-19 19:18:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say the children, because they basically have no choice in whether or not they stay with the alcoholic.
2007-06-19 19:23:25 · answer #8 · answered by littlevivi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
children suffer the most
2007-06-19 19:20:39 · answer #9 · answered by dreamer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children. They are the ultimate victims.
2007-06-19 19:18:59 · answer #10 · answered by Barbara B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋