Today is my parents' 35th anniversary. Their marriage survived 18 years of infidelity, two illegitimate children (from that 18 year affair), and emotional abuse. They are now one of the healthiest and happiest couples I know.
Granting a few exceptions, I ask, if they can make it work, why can't many others?
I'm very proud of them, and I'm using them as my example of what to do and what not to do when I get married. But because of them, I truly believe marriage is a permanent commitment. They rock.
2007-06-19 12:09:22 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just so everyone knows, I'm not the one giving thumbs down.
2007-06-19 12:30:24 · update #1
Those who are criticizing (how can you criticize such a beautiful thing . . . oh wait, because you haven't hung out with them and watched them show each other true love), I'm curious if you are divorced . . . . .
Not that it proves anything. I'm just curious.
2007-06-19 12:45:34 · update #2
Truly awesome. They stuck in there thru things that would have torn many couples apart. Preserverance, really impressive considering all things involved. Extreme rarity in todays society. Sure does give a ray of hope in todays world. They really do rock and wish them many more
2007-06-19 12:15:40 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
WOW!!!! They do Rock! They must both be very strong and commited. I'm a very strong believer in commitment also, but if the person you are with isn't, then there is not much you can do about it. I was in a relationship (if you can call it that) for over 11 year and I was very committed to making things work and forgiving and 2nd, 3rd, 100 chances, but there comes a point where you turn into a the other persons doormat, and that is not a way anyone should have to live. I finally ended that realtionship and am happier now than I have ever been. I wish I would have opened my eyes a lot sooner and gotten out of that situation, because I'm afraid my children may think it is normal or ok to live like that or treat people that way. I'm glad to hear that there are stories similar to mine that do have happy endings.
2007-06-19 19:25:43 · answer #2 · answered by Ken's Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because they had one thing that couples today do not have ... commitment. Most couples today go into marriage thinking that this piece of paper is all about love, and when they wake up one day and discover that they don't "feel in love" the first thing they do is to either look elsewhere or want to bail out. It's all the wrong perspective. Marriage is about commitment, not love. Because when the love is gone, the commitment will hold the love returns. If there is no commitment, there is not and never will be a marriage.
2007-06-19 19:15:02 · answer #3 · answered by John B 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure you're proud of them, but from the outside looking in, I wouldn't necessarily think they're "healthy and happy". To have affairs and illegitimate children be part of their history has got to have an effect on someone. Maybe they decided to make the best of it, but it's not always good advice to stay with a spouse who has disrespected you to that degree. I wouldn't get too excited about their marriage. Marriage doesn't mean to stick it out when you're being mistreated and cheated on. Marriage in that case should NOT be permanent if it's destructive, and affairs and illegitimate children are definitely destructive forces. I hope your marriage in the future will be better than theirs.
2007-06-19 19:25:56 · answer #4 · answered by cynthiajean222 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Great that they can work through the challenges you mentioned , some couples are not as strong. Some couples just grow apart and others can't forget or forgive some of the things you mentioned. Every couple is different and only they can decide what is right to them. Marriage is a strong commitment as you said and both man and wife need to work on it every day they are together. Don't judge every couple by the results your parents had until you walk in their shoes and sleep in their beds, choices are made as needed in every relationship.
2007-06-19 19:17:02 · answer #5 · answered by Don't make me beg!!! 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your parents' marriage is a perfect example of proof that two people who make a COMMITMENT to each other in marriage can beat the odds.
People who are truly committed to each other can survive ANYTHING. That takes GUTS.
Give your folks a BIG two thumbs up!
2007-06-19 19:15:25 · answer #6 · answered by LilyBelle 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's great that they have managed to stick it out this long. It shows a great strength of character that is missing from far too many people nowadays. We're so spoiled in this society and things come far too easy for us that when difficulty strikes us, we want an easy, immediate solution to it. When we don't get it then we bail. God never gives us unending pain and suffering: he always follows up a bad period with something good. And, if we're patient enough to wait for the good, then we will have learned something valuable during the waiting period. Here's to another 35 years, God-willing.
2007-06-19 19:18:35 · answer #7 · answered by Dick Jones 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This type of arrange may seem like a marriage to them but for some people breaking the wedding vows is the beginning of the end of the marriage.
2007-06-19 19:30:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
commitment is a two way street. unfortunately, you can't always make someone stay with you no matter how much you want to stay married. you can want to stay married til the end of time, it doesn't mean your partner will.
plus your parents are from a different era. the culture now is very much "me" so people don't feel obligated to take into consideration the feelings of others or the commitments they may now no longer value.
2007-06-19 19:19:26 · answer #9 · answered by t g 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Now that is something to be proud of! NOT! I am willing to bet not too many marriages will last when infidelity is involved. Hopefully you can learn from their "marriage".
2007-06-19 19:15:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋