How can we improve the problem of young women chasing bad boys and treating good men poorly?

Question

I think the family is the most important place. Other than that, I think I'm going to have to blame the victim and say that we need to make young men more aware of this tendency. They can then choose to date women who don't do this and/or not date as much until they're older. I know this tendency has its roots in evolution, but so does men's desire for a variety of mates. I think another change would be to give an equal amount of recognition and shaming that we give to some of the bad things that men do.
If you think I'm whining, go ahead and point it out. I'll point out that this tendency has a larger impact than you might think on how all men percieve women, even the bad boys themselves.

qwyx, I agree somewhat, but disagree mostly. Even healthy young women will do this to a large extent. The extreme examples are as you describe though, and that needed to be pointed out.

Answer 1

Its not so much that women like "Bad Boys" they are just attracted to men who are seemingly emotionally stronger then them (in other words.. men who they cannot manipulate, use and abuse). Its the strength and confidence the bad boy has that women chase, not his "bad" qualities.

They treat good men badly because they see them as weak and spinless (mistaking kindness and morals for weakness). If you think about it, the problem goes both ways.. you can ask why do nice guys let women treat them like crap?

I don't have this problem because while I'm not a bad boy.. I wont hesitate to tell a women (or anyone else) off if they disrespect me or treat me poorly. And in relationships I will bail if the women behaves poorly... life is too short to take crap from people.

Answer 2

some cruising on wiki tuned up there page on the nice guy phenomenon well it did not in fact clear anything up it did provide some interesting notes regarding the attempts at researching the phenomenon, definitions of the terms "nice guy" and "bad boy"

what this possibly non-existent phenomenon may stem from (provided it exists in the first place) is the non assertiveness and social submissiveness of the nice guy stereotype. another possibility is the definition of romantic success, a stable romantic relationship or a huge number of "conquests"

edit
if anyone can conform the existence of this phenomenon please post the source

thanks for the link happy there are two problems though the first is that the site douse not contain enough information to conform or refute Dr. Robert Glover's findings and the second is that his "nice guys" are rejected because of there own deep physiological issues so it really seems to miss the essence of the issue

Answer 3

Real men do whats right when doing whats right is the hardest thing to do. Somewhat of a John Wayne quote. I think the "bad boys" need to be shamed out of inner circles and shouldn't be looked up to no matter how far it superficially gets them with a girl. Men and boys need to know that it is not cool or classy to be bad, and to stand up for what is right should be held in the highest esteem. I think the reason it is often seen as cool is because it is mistaken for rebelliousness, see, I am considered a rebel because of how independent I am, before I started homeschooling I may have been seen as a bad kid even though when I did rebel I was honorable and showed tact in my logic and reasoning as to why I had not actually done anything wrong and I just fall through the cracks of societies sheep pen. Being a rebel isn't being bad, it is standing up for your beliefs in a society that encourages vice. So, it should be held as great integrity to show honor and fortitude in morality and the pursuit of truth in life should guide men to be rebellious against evil and corrupt societal mechanisms yet uphold virtue in each action. Have you ever heard the Bruce Lee quote "Showing off is a fools idea of glory"? The "bad boy" thinks he is being a rebel when he is really seeking excitement at others expense. These people should not be allowed to date peoples daughters. They should be exiled and ignored to fester in their facade of manliness until they are ready to seek truth and virtue, because you cannot force it upon a person, they must learn for themselves, it is something that is difficult to teach. Most smart women won't go for their act anyways, and not for long if they do, usually under the impression that he is rebellious. Just remember, "True grit is doing whats right when doing whats right is the hardest thing to do" Good luck, although dont rely on it, rely on yourself, and god bless those who seek the truth and virtue and may the spirits help all those who seek to know good.

Answer 4

There is no hope for it except on a case-by-case basis. A woman can do some good in the world by avoiding the jerky "bad boys" and dating the good ones instead. Hopefully, parents of teenagers can encourage their children to become good people and to date good people, as well. But I think this is a one-on-one kind of situation unfortunately.

It would certainly help everyone if girls didn't develop the "issues" that lead to them wanting to date semi-abusive guys. A lot can actually be done from this angle, mainly in the way of encouraging fathers to get involved and helping to educate people about domestic violence and its effect on child development.

Answer 5

Ironically, this is one of the places where women can easily wield their power. By a woman choosing to shun the bad boy, his attitude will not be reinforced or rewarded and this, more than anything else, will tend to improve his behavior toward women. Yet few women chose to exert their power in this way. Maybe power doesn't really interest most women.

Answer 6

It seems to me that most young women grow out of the desire for "bad boys" fairly quickly. It's more of a teenage-mid 20's thing.

Answer 7

You cannot change anyone. You must make the necessary changes in yourself. Accept the fact women are the way they are. Its a crap shoot out there and all you can really do is hope for the best. Stay cool, try to be a good example and you will score with a good woman. Good Luck.

Answer 8

Knowing that this is true, this is how you play them. Even if you're not a player. It's how you land them, and once you do then you can go back to being more civilized. Gradually. Women want a guy they can tame. Give it to them.

And this DOES belong in women's studies. Geez, women know so little about what drives their own behavior. Knowing this won't change any woman, because women behave very predictably.

Answer 9

If women goes after the bad boys and ended up getting hurt, suck for them, I don't sympathize them one bit. I hope no good men would ever go out with them. In fact, I hope no men would ever look at them or aproach them again.

Those kind of women don't deserve any kind of sympathy or respect.

Answer 10

I don't know that I chased the bad boys, but I was more willing to say "yes" to their advances, which was stupid of me because I always got hurt. I thought they were nice guys, but noooo. I obviously was a poor judge of character.